Have you shared anything about your loss(es) on Facebook?

7/04Bride · February 2011

I think I'm going to. It's been bothering me that I'll post about random stuff going on in my life, but not something that has such a huge impact on my life lately. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and am not looking for sympathy. I just feel like I want people to know. I saw some friends over the weekend and they asked how everything was going with me. It's just tough to bring it up in conversation like that, but I feel like I want people to know. I also have started to worry that when I DO get pregnant and the baby sticks, people are going to make comments like, "It's about time!" or things like that. I just don't want to hear anyone say that they were wondering when I would have baby news to share. I would feel the need to blurt out why it took so long at that point and I don't want to hurt any feelings because I can't blame people for not knowing if I never told them, you know? Have any of you shared anything with the FB world? I'm not even sure what to say, but I'm seeing a perinatologist tomorrow, so I thought I could start by mentioning that. A friend of mine has been very open about her infertility issues/hysterectomy/surrogate plan, so she has kind of inspired me.

Pachita · February 2011

I've shared absolutely nothing about my losses on FB. My coworkers still don't know a thing about my mc.

I want to tell them eventually when I am PG....hopefully sooner than later!

emeraudecephiro · February 2011

I occasionally share things I've written about my miscarriages, or mention them around the EDD or loss dates, but I don't talk about them a ton. I will talk about them if asked - most people know about them because my parents told them.

I write as therapy and share them as notes every so often.

kate626 · February 2011

I had a late loss at 21 weeks...everyone knows I was pregnant... I think everyone knows I am not any longer...But i did not post anything specific. I suppose eventually I will have to... Im not ready yet though.

I have also considered deleting my account

rosenb2b · February 2011

I didn't about my first but during October last year (2nd D&C was 10/1), I did. I mentioned Wave of Light and Face of Loss. I got an amazing response from a lot of people...some who knew and some who didn't, were afraid to talk about theirs, etc. It felt redeeming in a way. I haven't mentioned it again but will during October this year probably.

MrsMeMo · February 2011

I've posted a few cryptic statuses about our loss, but nothing totally obvious. For example, this was my status today:

MM: "I might have to wait, i'll never give up. I guess it's half timing and the other half is luck. Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and in to my life. ..... And, baby, your love is gonna change me". - Michael Buble said it better than I could.

EricaK28 · February 2011

I have not shared anything on facebook and have no plans to. I do not post on facebook alot. I mainly look at other people's updates and comment from their. I tried to keep my miscarriage a secret at work people cannot keep a secret. I have talked with some coworkers about it openly. Due whatever makes you feel better.

Pachita · February 2011

About the only thing I posted that is related to my loss, but nobody could really tell by just reading it if they didn't know about my losses to begin with:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference"

mdluv21 · February 2011

I did but only because I was so far along and everyone knew I was pregnant and family members started posted condolence messages on there...I just wanted to let friends know what had happened in an effort to try and save myself from having to tell people over and over again.

If everyone hadn't known I was pregnant I wouldn't have said anything.

jertie · February 2011

The only thing I shared was a post on October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. But, everyone that I'm friends with on FB knew about my loss, so not like I was telling them anything they didn't already know.

stephsteph77 · February 2011

I post on facebook all the time, but didn't mention a thing about my loss. I did, however, send out an email to the people I work with (the staff at my school). I found out at the beginning of June something was horribly wrong, and I was in no state to go back and teach kids. I went back and forth between being a blubbering mess and a zombie. School got out 2 weeks after I found out, so I just never went back to work. I never miss school, so people were really asking questions. I sent out an email explaining what I was going through, and the outpouring of support was amazing. I'm glad I did - I've worked with these people for almost a decade and consider them practically a second family. Plus, my being out of school affected a lot of people - I needed people to finish up some mandated testing for me, pack up my classroom for the year, etc. I felt they deserved some reason why I had dropped off the face of the planet.

I did not, however, feel the need to share with 300 of my "closest facebook friends". The random dude I sat next to in Spanish 15 years ago does not need to know any details of my reproductive issues.

lavril · February 2011

I did not. Most of my close friends/family know, but I didn't want my employers to know or bring it up at work.

julesjb · February 2011

I was alittle over 12 weeks when we lost our first so people already knew. I was open about my pain. I didnt say much about my second loss but my FB statuses were pretty dreary and people noticed and I got a lot of PM asking if I was doing ok. As I got closer to my EDD I pretty much stopped hiding how I feel and write what I want. I don't share details but I don't hide it.

Something about all of this has changed me, I don't feel like I should have to hide what I am really thinking about. I think everyone is different, it just helped me to feel like I was allowed to say how I feel...I dont know if that makes sense.

baloneydisc · February 2011

I haven't shared anything about my losses on FB, but I honestly don't share much of anything on there. I mostly use it to PM my friends & have talked to a couple of them about it that way. Most people don't even know we're TTC & I don't want to say anything because of that (we don't want my MIL to know we're TTC, she's already clingy enough).

jenn0021 · February 2011

I haven't posted anything about my losses on facebook. Well, I did put up a status on October 15th about miscarriage and infant loss (not specifically to me though). I mostly just put up inspiring quotes that people who know about my losses (my family for example) can understand. But I haven't been open about it. Like a PP said, there is no need for my 100+ "friends" to know about it. After my second loss though I have been a bit more open to sharing with people IRL. Depending on how I feel. I think it's a personal decision and if you want to post on FB, feel free.

CrazyCurls · February 2011

I have not posted anything on FB about my m/c. I have only told close friends, my parents and ILs. I have a lot of acquaintances on FB and they don't need to know such personal details.

Waiting4Fred · February 2011

m.mckee1224:

I've posted a few cryptic statuses about our loss, but nothing totally obvious. For example, this was my status today:

MM: "I might have to wait, i'll never give up. I guess it's half timing and the other half is luck. Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and in to my life. ..... And, baby, your love is gonna change me". - Michael Buble said it better than I could.

I have heard this song a hundred times and never related it to TTC. I just teared up reading it in that context. Beautiful.

MrsMitty08 · February 2011

I haven't shared anything on FB....we never shared that we were pregnant as we were waiting to make the grand announcement at Christmas but never got that far. So, the FB world doesn't even know we had a pregnancy let alone a loss.

I try to keep my FB neutral as I have so many groups of friends and family on there.

MrsMitty08 · February 2011

m.mckee1224:
I've posted a few cryptic statuses about our loss, but nothing totally obvious. For example, this was my status today:

MM: "I might have to wait, i'll never give up. I guess it's half timing and the other half is luck. Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and in to my life. ..... And, baby, your love is gonna change me". - Michael Buble said it better than I could.

Oh, I really like that!!

MrsMeMo · February 2011

Waiting4Fred:
m.mckee1224:

I've posted a few cryptic statuses about our loss, but nothing totally obvious. For example, this was my status today:

MM: "I might have to wait, i'll never give up. I guess it's half timing and the other half is luck. Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and in to my life. ..... And, baby, your love is gonna change me". - Michael Buble said it better than I could.

I have heard this song a hundred times and never related it to TTC. I just teared up reading it in that context. Beautiful.

I was the same exact way. I heard it yesterday, and it took on completely new meaning for me. There's a new song by Sugarland called Little Miss (if you like country music) that stopped me in my tracks. It's about a relationship (like the Buble song) but the lyrics that get me are:

"Little Miss hide your scars
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay"

Mejin215 · February 2011

I did only bc everyone knew I was pregnant and knew that there was a possible problem with the baby. I thought it would be better to announce on there than tell everyone and cry.

butterfly843 · February 2011

I have posted more about the loss of our twins on fb since we had announced that pregnancy on fb. I have also posted on oct 15th, but didn't get much response to that post. I usually post something around my due dates and the loss dates.

obxjs09 · February 2011

I have not mentioned anything on FB. Considering that I have friends 8hrs away who are pg. I wouldn't want to make things uncomfortable for them or anything. If they ask why I am not pg yet and was married before them, then I will say something to them.

hugs&hissyfits · February 2011

I am on facebook but I didn't share my miscarriages on there. Only told close friends and family.

LDW80 · February 2011

I posted my announcement on fb (when I was 10 weeks) but have not posted my loss. I made a post saying"why do bad things happen to good people" and the few who knew about my m/c got that quote. If people ask how I am feeling I simply sent them a message and told them privately. I was amazed at how many of my fb friends wrote back to me and told me of their m/c that I had no idea about. It made me closer to them.

Laurakat81 · February 2011

I actually did with my second loss. I announced to all the world that we had found out earlier in the day that we had lost our baby, our second baby in only seven months. So many people knew I was pregnant the second time even though we had only told close friends and family because we wanted support and prayers. And afterwards I just had this overwhelming urge to talk about it, I felt like I would explode if I didn't so I announced our loss and asked for both privacy and prayers.

honestly the support was overwhelming. And I'm so glad I told. I continue to talk about it every now and then and I usually post my blog link on FB after each new post so my life is kind of an open book....sometimes I hate that and yet other times it feels really good.

That's not saying putting it all out there has been all good. But it's helped me to see who my real friends are.

HadleyS · February 2011

julesjb:

I was alittle over 12 weeks when we lost our first so people already knew. I was open about my pain. I didnt say much about my second loss but my FB statuses were pretty dreary and people noticed and I got a lot of PM asking if I was doing ok. As I got closer to my EDD I pretty much stopped hiding how I feel and write what I want. I don't share details but I don't hide it.

Something about all of this has changed me, I don't feel like I should have to hide what I am really thinking about. I think everyone is different, it just helped me to feel like I was allowed to say how I feel...I dont know if that makes sense.

This! I haven't shared anything about my loss on FB, but my status for those first weeks after were very short and blunt, and a little depressing. I have found that every time I end up being alone with one of my girlfriends, I really have the urge to tell. I have let my closest girlies in on the secret, but no one besides my DH and MIL have consoled me better than you wonderful ladies on the bump! (((hugs))) to you all!

I feel like I would want to share about my loss more...that is, when (if) we get pregnant again. I do think that this is a little strange of me, but right now that's how I feel. To me, it does seem kind of backwards, but I just haven't found the best way to approach the subject. I think I will be more vocal about it this October.

corndog8 · February 2011

I didn't post anything on FB either. I had thought about something that I would know what it meant and no one else would but then.. didn't want the questions. My close fam and a couple friends know.. and my womans group -- they have been super supportive.

johnnys june · February 2011

I don't post a whole lot on facebook ( meaning everyday ) but I did post while I was in the hospital and very thoughtful/hopeful messages when Logan was in the NICU. We had a late loss at 25 weeks so everyone knew we were pregnant. For weeks afer Logan passed I stayed away from facebook and refrained from sharong how i was truly feeling. I would get the occassional how are you but nothing special. Finally, i made a blunt post stating " i am not Ok. I miss my baby. So don't ask me if i'm om, don't expect me to move on. I'll find my way..". It was very relieving to have the truth out there. I still refrain fro posting frequently in a nalegative light. But as the months pass on and ppl move on, i still post every so often the truth about my day or thoughts or a simple " i miss Logan"...simply bc if people want to truly k ow my status, it's there for them to see!

tcline · February 2011

I absolutely HATED telling people, it was the hardest thing to do and I hated talking about it and trying not to cry. But I felt like I had to tell everyone because this was our first pregnancy and I was so excited and naive about the situation that I blurted the news to everyone (even FB!) So after the mc everyone was still putting their hands on my belly and asking questions about how I was feeling or baby names, etc. That was SO hard! So I had to tell everyone about my loss so that they would stop bringing up "the baby." I posted a short and suggestive statement on FB and my close friends understood what had happened.

tiffany119 · February 2011

I did, because enough people knew about the pregnancy. I wanted to post something before someone said "Hey, just heard the great news! Congratulations!" that would have just killed me.

I used it as an opportunity to say what I wanted people to know, but without having to answer a lot of questions.

Oh, how I miss the days of living so naively - to announce a pregnancy at just past the BFP.. Huh?

millejj1 · February 2011

I haven't shared anything and don't plan to. Not everyone on my page needs to know that much about my personal life.

StaceyM06 · February 2011

I have not shared anything on FB, but to each their own... I told my closest friends and immediate family in person and tell others in person when they ask questions like, 'when are you going to have kids?'

Eris-Alexis · February 2011

We posted something on FB when we lost our twins. Everyone knew I was PG so I felt like it was the easiest and least stressful way for me to break the news.

I didn't say anything about our latest loss, since only a handful of people even knew I was PG that time.

I think you should do whatever you feel most comfortable with. We got a lot of comments when I posted on FB, and while it was nice to have the support, it was really hard to read the comments, especially the private comments that I felt obligated to respond to. We also got a flood of email from that post.

Froggy76 · February 2011

I have been very private about my m/c and only my family and closest girlfriends know. I think I will open up more once I have a successful pregnancy. Not sure why- I guess I just don't want people pitying me.

ziggy23213 · February 2011

I did share on FB a few days after my loss. I was amazed by the incredible outpouring of support from so many people, and I was also shocked at the number of people who told me they had had a m/c in the past, and I had no idea. I don't understand why no one talks about it. I know maybe it's painful to be reminded, but for me, I want people to know that I have a child, who maybe never grew beyond a couple of cells, but I still have a child, and I don't want that child to be forgotten.

7/04Bride · February 2011

ziggy23213:
I did share on FB a few days after my loss. I was amazed by the incredible outpouring of support from so many people, and I was also shocked at the number of people who told me they had had a m/c in the past, and I had no idea. I don't understand why no one talks about it. I know maybe it's painful to be reminded, but for me, I want people to know that I have a child, who maybe never grew beyond a couple of cells, but I still have a child, and I don't want that child to be forgotten.

This is kind of how I feel about it. I don't want to go into a lot of detail with a lot of people and am not looking for pity, but it's been bothering me to talk to people about everything BUT what I have been dealing with since last summer. It's been on the forefront of my mind, so it almost seems silly that it's not out there for everyone to know about.

cutebride73 · February 2011

I posted something general on Oct. 15th - remembrance day, but nothing specific. I don't know, facebook just seems so impersonal to me and the people who care about me and are close in my life already know.

LauraDun · March 2011

I totally understand your reasoning for wanting to share and I think only you can decide what you feel comfortable with. I personally haven't but then again I don't post much at all on facebook to begin with. I think it's all about your choice for yourself and your comfort level.

csquared426 · March 2011

m.mckee1224:
I've posted a few cryptic statuses about our loss, but nothing totally obvious. For example, this was my status today:

MM: "I might have to wait, i'll never give up. I guess it's half timing and the other half is luck. Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and in to my life. ..... And, baby, your love is gonna change me". - Michael Buble said it better than I could.

I ? this song.

csquared426 · March 2011

I've only put statuses up in October, other then that, I don't mention it.

Have you shared anything about your loss(es) on Facebook?

Re: Have you shared anything about your loss(es) on Facebook?

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