Hi Ladies. I apologize in advance if this is not the appropriate place to ask this, but I was hoping to get some advice from you all.
My husband?s cousin is facing some possible fertility issues. We live right down the street from her and her husband and hang out quite a bit. I don?t know all of the details, but so far she has a tilted cervix and they are testing her for a ton of other things. All of this has been a bit of shock for them since they weren?t actively TTC yet and kind of found out in a round about way. They?ve kept to themselves lately, which I completely understand, but I wanted to send her a ?thinking of you? card to let her know we?re here for them. I?m kind of at a loss for what to say, though. I personally have not been in her situation and I would hate to say something that was meant to be comforting, but that really wasn?t.
Again, sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this. I normally hang out on the TTCAL board, so I wasn?t sure. Thanks so much!
Re: Hoping for some advice (MC ticker warning)
It is sweet of you to think of your husband's cousin. Has she shared any of the issues with you or did you learn of the IF issues from someone else in the family? If one of the people I have told about our issues sent me a note saying they were thinking of me, keeping me in their T&Ps and/or were there to listen if I needed an ear, that would be about the best they can do. Please avoid things like: "it will happen when it is supposed to happen"; "relax"; "things will work out in the end", etc. These aren't helpful and can feel like you aren't really considering the gravity of the situation.
That being said, if she has not shared her IF situation with you and she doesn't really know you know, it may not be something she really wants to share with you or that she wants you to even know about.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience." Let it Be (blog) ♥ My BFP Charts
This time I'm not leaving without you.
Everything STL said is perfect! Honestly, if you just want to put that you are there for her if she needs to talk, that would be really nice.
Its very hard sometimes for us IFers to open up to people who don't know or understand what we are going through b/c we don't want to make the conversation uncomfortable.
I see you had a couple of losses (I'm very sorry about that) and looks like you are dealing with anovulation, so it seems like you might be just the person to relate to her. And its very nice that you do want to let her know you are there for her.
TroubleTTC
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end --Semisonic
**TTC since 04/09, C/P 02/02/10; 4 weeks, 3 days**
**Dx: Anovulation, Hypothryroidism, Mild Endo, Pituitary Adenoma (prolactin issues), PAI-1, MFI **
**7/10: Clomid + TI= BFN**
**3/2/11: 1st RE appointment**
**DH= Morph= 2%, Motility= 30%**
**HSG= All clear!!**
**3/11: Femara + Pregnyl + TI= BFN**
**5/17/11: Laparoscopy / hysteroscopy = mild endo**
**7/11: Novarel + IUI #1= BFN (7mil, 75% motility, 2% morph)**
**8/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #2= BFN (11mil, 35% motility, 1% morph)**
**11/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #3= BFN (9mil, 2% morph)**
**Jan 2012: Follistim (75ius) + IUI #4= CANCELLED due to cyst -put on bcp**
**Feb 2012: Follistim (75ius) + Novarel + IUI #4.2= BFFN (2.5mil, 13% motility, 1% morph)**
**Mar 2012: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5= CANCELLED due to 35mm & 14mm cysts**
**On med break indefinitely...IF Sucks!**
Congratulations Cutebride!! --TWINS!! Congratulations, Luvie, on your sweet boy! Congrats, Jess! So happy for you ladies!
~~Also best of luck to Kati, illinigal, and youngin!~~