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Austin Babies
MrsAJL
member
Made it for 7 weeks, 3 days
MrsAJL
member
*This is really just a vent. No response necessary, but I need to get this out somewhere.*
That's longer than I breast fed DS, so it's something to be proud of, I think. However, in the last two weeks, every time I feed Molly, I become agitated, upset, and even angry. When I bottle feed her, I don't have those feelings at all. When I breast feed her, I don't want to hold her after she's done eating. I feel detached from the process. I feel much more in tune and close to her when I give her a bottle. I don't really understand it. I thought breast feeding was supposed to release these feel-good-love-your-baby hormones. 
I keep telling myself that I didn't fail her and I'm not a failure for choosing to formula feed her from here on out, but it's really hard to tell that to my heart. I think for my own mental health and well being, this is the best course for us.
I'm not sure what kind of feedback I'm looking for with this post. I think I just need a hug and a "You did good, kiddo."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Made it for 7 weeks, 3 days
7 weeks is awesome!
Here is my biggest internet hug (HUG).
And, my most sincere, You did great, kiddo. You are a great mama. Keep doing what you think is right and you won't go wrong. Good job.
Good job. I never could have made it 7 weeks.
Be happy. That's much more important.
Here is the link and article. I'm not sure who posted it but I shared the link with some mommy friends and still had it saved.
https://blogs.babble.com/strollerderb...etdownletdown/Just-Identified Breastfeeding Disorder Gives New Meaning To ?Letdown?
POSTED BY KATIE ALLISON GRANJU ON FEBRUARY 11TH, 2011 AT 10:06 AM
Earlier this week, I wrote a blog post over at Baby?s First Year, exploring the pros and cons of breastfeeding and formula feeding, from my personal perspective. One of the things I mentioned in the post was how bizarrely agitated and unhappy I felt every time I used a breastpump. I described the feeling as being close to a low grade panic attack.
One of the commenters on that post left a link to a website about something called ?Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex? or ?D-MER.? I?d never heard of this, so I went and checked the site out, and what I found is truly fascinating, and has the potential to help a whole lot of women.
The site was started by a mother who found herself experiencing sudden and painful feelings of sadness and disappointment every time she started to nurse her baby. She made the connection between her milk letdown (ejection reflex) and the onset of these feelings, and started trying to track down information and resources about this condition, which obviously has the potential to make it very hard for a woman to breastfeed her baby, and could also lead to more serious problems, like depression.
To make a long story short, this resourceful mother, named Alia Macria Heise gave the condition a name, and by starting a blog in which she discussed her experiences, she found many, many other moms who had also been dealing with this mysterious, very real complication of breastfeeding that wasn?t officially recognized by medical science.
Soon, Heise tracked down a few nationally-known Board Certified Lactation Consultants, including Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC who were interested in clearly identifying the symptoms and diagnosis of D-MER, and in creating a research project around the topic. And that?s what they?ve done. They plan to publish their first scientific study of Dysphoric Milk Ejection Research soon.
From the D-MER website:
Simply put: D-MER is physiological, not psychological. It is hormones, not past experience or repressed memories, that cause it.
We?re quite sure now that D-MER is linked to a drop in dopamine that seems to occur whenever milk is released. In a mother with D-MER at the time of letdown dopamine falls inappropriately, causing negative feelings. All of the suggestions made for treating D-MER are based on our belief that transiently inadequate dopamine is responsible. Milk release itself isn?t caused by dopamine dropping; it?s caused by oxytocin rising. In D-MER, the MER (milk ejection reflex) is a result of rising oxytocin (needed to move the milk out of the breast) but the D (dysphoria) is a result of inappropriately falling dopamine. Dopamine gets involved because it inhibits prolactin (which is what makes the milk,) so dopamine levels need to drop for prolactin levels to rise in order to make more milk. Normally, dopamine drops properly and breastfeeding mothers never knew it even happened, in D-MER mothers however, it doesn?t drop properly and causes a negative emotional reaction.
I have personally known several mothers over the years who have described what I now believe to have been D-MER to me with regard to their personal breastfeeding experiences. These women recounted that they began to feel inexplicably empty and hopeless whenever they breastfed their babies; one friend told me that she had a sudden and powerful pang of what felt like homesickness when the baby would begin to nurse. Another explained that nursing her baby made her feel very anxious and agitated, like she was going to jump out of her own skin.
According to the researchers now looking into the causes and treatment for D-MER, all of these feelings fall within their well-defined spectrum of symptoms for diagnosis.
This is truly fascinating stuff. It?s real medical research on an under-explored but important aspect of women?s health, and the push to get the research going was completely grassroots in nature, started by one mom with a problem to solve and a motivation to find answers in order to help others.
You made it exactly 7 weeks, 2 days and 23 hours more than I did.
You need to do what is best for you and then baby will be happy.
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Great job!
I could have wrote this post when I gave up BFing with J. I also never felt the love, and actually felt very resentful of him and BFing. So do not feel alone in that! There is noting wrong with you, not everyone loves BFing and feels like they are bonding while doing it.
You did a great job and you are not a failure. I've heard of this kind of thing happening before. I think you're making the right choice. I can't imagine having to deal with those kinds of feelings for every feeding, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that!
((hugs))
I couldn't have said it better.
Thumbs up mama!
What she said! As my DH once heard and often repeats: momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
and ((hugs)), it sounds like you really struggled with the decision, but have found the right answer for you, good job!
Ditto this!
Ditto! You did great making it this long. There is no reason to keep going with something that makes you feel so miserable.
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I think every breastfeeding mom has those exact feelings at one point or another, whether they stop or power through. You just have to weigh your feelings- if you're not feelin it, it's perfectly fine. You did great! And now you'll never wonder "What if I had.." ya know?
I give you two very enthusiastic
7 weeks 3 days is a long time!
You did a great job, and formula is good for babies too. My DD has grown quite happily on formula after a disasterous three weeks of breastfeeding.
I felt like I wasn't really bonding with her until after I stopped breastfeeding. It took so much pressure off me and DD was much happier once we went to formula (bad supply and very impatient baby).
You are in no way failing by choosing formula. I felt like a huge failure, and it was a lot of wasted energy and tears. You sound like you have thought through this decision, so make it fearlessly and with confidence. Your mental health and well being is very important. Happy mommies make for happy, well-adjusted babies.
Hooray! That's awesome news.
I felt this exact same way. My blood would literally feel like it was boiling. It was crazy and I hated feeling like that.
Ditto Kim! You did a great job!!
Great job!!!!! They got the colostrum, which is the most important part. Pat yourself on the back and know that you're doing the best thing for your baby &&&& yourself!
I had these same feelings & made it about 8 weeks. It was torturous and the second I switched DS to formula, he began to thrive.
I was kind of like, "What is this post about again??"
Yeah, NO bfps here, yo!