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Why announcing early can sometimes be a good thing

sewpinkgalsewpinkgal
in October 2011 Moms

We told my ILs at about 5 weeks that I was pregnant. They were over the moon excited and I think that excitement even grew when we saw them 2 weeks ago for dinner.

Thursday night my FIL had another heart attack where he wound up in the ICU. It was bad and we think that had he coded anywhere other than the ER, things might not have turned out so well. My H and I are both so thankful that we had told them early and that they had a chance to be excited about it and that it will hopefully be a bright spot when the worry and sadness starts to seep in. My FIL is going home today and seems to be doing well, but it's still a lot of emotional and physical stuff to deal with all at once.

I know everyone has their reasons for when they tell people and I totally respect that. I just know that in this case, I'm so happy that we didn't wait and told them very early.

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Re: Why announcing early can sometimes be a good thing

  • mattandbekahmattandbekah
    Im so sorry to hear that that happened! I hope he is okay.  I know what you mean about being happy you told him...but from the flip side.  My husbands grandma died when I was about 10 weeks along with Jack...and she never knew she was going to be a great-grandma again.  We were both sad that we hadnt told her
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  • renafaithrenafaith member

    Recovery is a long process. I hope it goes smoothly for him.

    We considered this with my MIL, as she is in bad health (but not terrible). She has been very depressed lately, and my H has always been closer to her than his brother. He was 33 when we got married and he will be 36 this year, so his mom thinks every little thing we say is a hint that I'm pg (BTW, I haven't said a WORD to her since finding out. I don't want to slip up).

    In the end, we decided to tell her after we see a heartbeat. And the rest of the family we'll tell at the end of 1st tri. We hope this will lift her spirits, but we were scared if we told her too early and something happened that it would send her even deeper.

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  • fraglettefraglette
    DH and I were just discussing the opposite this weekend. Both our families tend to be pretty negative and easily depressed. (as in dangerously depressed) We were discussing how if anything went wrong at this early stage it would be a real blessing we didn't tell them because they would not handle news of a loss well. Its interesting to think of both sides of the coin.

    I hope your father in law has a speedy recovery. I've been in that situation twice, and one situation with a worse outcome, so if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. I know exactly how scary an ordeal it is.
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  • sewpinkgalsewpinkgal

    imagefraglette:
    DH and I were just discussing the opposite this weekend. Both our families tend to be pretty negative and easily depressed. (as in dangerously depressed) We were discussing how if anything went wrong at this early stage it would be a real blessing we didn't tell them because they would not handle news of a loss well. Its interesting to think of both sides of the coin.

    I hope your father in law has a speedy recovery. I've been in that situation twice, and one situation with a worse outcome, so if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. I know exactly how scary an ordeal it is.

    There are definitely two sides to the coin. It seems like so much of it is judging where your family/friends lie on the spectrum and making a decision based on that. Thank you for the positive thoughts. The doctors seem to think things are good, so we're hopeful that they're right.

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  • itsmeginitsmegin

    I am so sorry your family is dealing with that. I hope he recovers soon!

    I agree, I told my family early with our first pregnancy because my mom went into the ER and was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer.  The happy news helped her and my family so much, and even though we lost that baby, for the short time it was with us, it gave my family so much hope during an otherwise horrific time.

    And, as I've said before, if you do have a loss, I think it's easier to deal with having the support of friends and family who know, rather than having to pretend everything's okay. But that's just my opinion. 

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  • Julie822Julie822
    I am so sorry about your FIL - hope he feels better soon. It is great that you got to share the news before all of this happened!
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