Clicky...Do you believe this statement is true?

shoeboxx · February 2011

All moms are single moms, dads provide financial support and fill in from time to time.

I'm paraphrasing, but I saw this on an old episode of Law and Order and wondered what others thought.

ETA: I do NOT agree with the statement.

[Poll]

slmcronelaw · February 2011

I voted Heck no because DH does sooo much with LO. I can't say enough about how much he helps me out.

melody921 · February 2011

I think, unfortunately, there are some dads who are just a paycheck. But even though I spend more hours with DS, since I work part-time, DH is fully involved in raising him too, and we share childcare duties as much as possible. I couldn't do it without him.

JingleBeIIe · February 2011

I think that statement kind of belittles what single moms really are. They provide the caring and financial support for their LOs.

sasky · February 2011

Um, that musta been a very old episode.

DH probably does more for DS than I do in terms of care, and we are 50/50 on financial support, and all benefits are through me. So... not even close to true.

AutumnBride929 · February 2011

I voted no because there is a noticeable difference in my sanity between DH being home and DH being away for a week for work. That must mean he does something, lol.

MammaBear81 · February 2011

I replied no because that is our situation, but I know MANY situations in which that statement is true.

shoeboxx · February 2011

sasky:

Um, that musta been a very old episode.

DH probably does more for DS than I do in terms of care, and we are 50/50 on financial support, and all benefits are through me. So... not even close to true.

I'm sure it was. I'm not a L&O fan, but it was on at like 1pm on tnt or something.

MrsJWeaver · February 2011

I answered sometimes. I know that DH helps and he does a decent amount. I feel like I do a lot since I get DD up in the am, feed her and take her to DC. We both work. I get home earlier and pick up DD, often make dinner, and give her a bath. DH feeds her in the evening and puts her to bed. However, he does share a decent amount of care on the weekend and has no problem taking her off my hands if I've had a rough day. Honestly, I like it the way we have it. I have a decent amount of working mom guilt and hate that I see my employees more than I see my daughter. I like taking care of her and usually don't "let" DH do a whole lot when he starts to do something I usually do. I'm syre this will change a lot when DD#2 arrives this summer!

aglenn · February 2011

AutumnBride929:
I voted no because there is a noticeable difference in my sanity between DH being home and DH being away for a week for work. That must mean he does something, lol.

This. Even though I could not say we are really close to 50/50 when it comes to taking care of DD, when my DH is gone (which is frequent, and for long stretches; one of which I'm currently in the middle of) it still makes a huge difference. There is no one to take over when I need to take a moment (or take a shower, for example). The strain of knowing it really is just me, alone, 24/7, is HARD. I have tons of respect for single moms because it is so much harder.

jennybeams · February 2011

Since I work and DH is a SAHD, I have to say Hell no...and it's a more common trend every day Wink

SeaStar430 · February 2011

I'm absolutely shocked that anyone voted yes or somewhat on this. Not because I care how other people run their lives, but because the statement says "all." And that is absolutely NOT how it is in my home or how it was when I was growing up. My husband is a 50% partner, one of the main reasons I fell in love with him was because he was so into kids and I knew he'd be a great dad.

I do have friends whose husbands are more "absentee" and play more of the financial support role, and if it works for them I think it's great.

yankeebaby2 · February 2011

Hell no. I wouldn't be with him if he made me feel like a single mother.

I don't consider it helping out either. We raise our children together.

JLSmith124 · February 2011

I voted Hell no.

I do the majority of the work because I am home with LO while DH is at work, but when he is home, he does his fair share

NiniJ55 · February 2011

I do not think the statement is true -- although I can see where it comes from.

DH did very little for DS in the begining.. here are the reasons why:

1. Me being home and wanting/ felt that I should do everything since he was working
2. His mom moved in when I went back to work so she was helping me and DH still did not need to/ just did not do very much.
3. He did not have any experience with babies so I think he was a little scared and I never bothered to help him overcome that fear.

Wtih all of that said-- DH is a great deal of help with DS now that he is a older/ a lot less fragile (DS is very ruff and tumble type of kid) and DH has very much gotten used to the idea of being a dad. In all of that though I would have never said that I am a single mom.

SeaStar430 · February 2011

yankeebaby2:

I don't consider it helping out either. We raise our children together.

This totally. DH doesn't help me out, he's not doing me any favors...she's his kid too. The other day my boss brought his little girl into work and said "I'm babysitting while her mom (a student SAHM) takes a class." That really irked me. Dads don't "babysit" their own kids. It's called parenting.

ryry1977 · February 2011

I answered somewhat. My DH is a great dad and does work full time so I can be a SAHM. When he is home he does help out, but the somewhat comes from... that he could be playing with DS instead of on the laptop/games, play with him while I am busy instead of turning on the tv, play with him more period! Now he does play with him, I guess our parenting styles are different and I like a lot more hands on with DS. He doesn't get too much time with him so I think he should spend quality time with him while he can. He is not going to be 1 forever!

dmogmo · February 2011

yankeebaby2:
Hell no. I wouldn't be with him if he made me feel like a single mother.
I don't consider it helping out either. We raise our children together.

This. Especially the first part - I've side-eyed many a bumpie for not taking that stance.

LoveEeyore · February 2011

LOl- I recently overheard DH tell his mom he had to babysit the twins while I took DD#1 to a birthday party.

kabarbanel · February 2011

slmcronelaw:
I voted Heck no because DH does sooo much with LO. I can't say enough about how much he helps me out.

This. I am a SAHM, so I am with DS most of the time, but when DH is home, he is all about DS and helping out.

ChicNotGeek · February 2011

It certainly doesn't apply to my husband and I. It must have been an old episode of LnO because that statement is like soooo 'last generation'.

jkylie · February 2011

Id like to say "sometimes" not "somewhat". There are times that i feel like i am carrying the "load" of dd. I remember a fight with DH and I said "I feel like I am a single mom and you just come and play every now and then."

Since then things have been better but that was my argument to him.

(HOLY QUOTATIONS)

shoeboxx · February 2011

LoveEeyore:
LOl- I recently overheard DH tell his mom he had to babysit the twins while I took DD#1 to a birthday party.

I have a friend who says that all of the time and it bothers me!

shoeboxx · February 2011

ChicNotGeek:
It certainly doesn't apply to my husband and I. It must have been an old episode of LnO because that statement is like soooo 'last generation'.

I don't understand why this matters. There are plenty of people in 2011 who still feel the same way. I have a friend who husband doesn't do much with their 2 children, they are 12 months and 23 months old. Her husband pays all of the bills in the house and she pays a nanny to 'help' her around the house. It works for them...not for me.

BrendaK · February 2011

jennybeams:
Since I work and DH is a SAHD, I have to say Hell no...and it's a more common trend every day

We're in the same situation, so I have to agree! When DH takes DD to the pedi, she always says that she should start a SAHD group - she sees so many nowadays!

ttmccoot · February 2011

for those who feel like they are "single parents" because all their SO/DH/FI does is "provide the paycheck":

take away the paycheck. then you can come tell us what it's like to be a single parent.

blublusher · February 2011

what if you bring home the pay check, do most of everything for your Lo and a full time worker bee.....??

SusieQ1982 · February 2011

I wouldn't be married to a man who behaved in a manner like that. We both believe family comes first and he pulls an equal share with the house and our son.

He doesn't "help" me. That implies it's my work, not our work. He takes care of his OWN son and his OWN house.

yourmom5309 · February 2011

slmcronelaw:
I voted Heck no because DH does sooo much with LO. I can't say enough about how much he helps me out.

This.

PrincessFiona9 · February 2011

ttmccoot:

for those who feel like they are "single parents" because all their SO/DH/FI does is "provide the paycheck":

take away the paycheck. then you can come tell us what it's like to be a single parent.

This.

kensbride08 · February 2011

I says HELLS NO! DH does just as much as I do when we are both home, and thats without me even asking him to.

MegGary · February 2011

I say some what only because I see it with my BFF & her DH. They have 2 kids. Her son is 3 & her DD is 8 months. He has given their son a bath twice. He runs his own business out of their home & her mom babysits the infant. Their son goes to DC fulltime. She works outside the home as a school psychologist. She has to use her vacation time to take the kids to doctor appointments. He can't handle one of the kids alone at the doctor. I really feel bad for her. He barely makes a dime & still can't seem to step up to do his share.

We left the kids w/ the husbands one day to run to a couple stores. You would of thought we where going away for a few days. She called him 3 times in an hour & 1/2 to check on him. She said, don't you have to call Gary? Ummm no. When we got back her husband was a frantic mess. DH couldn't understand why he was so stressed. lol

As far as the paycheck comment. I'm the bread winner in my house. I'm also the one to provide health benefits. So although DH brings home money my contribution is more. I also do more for DD as well as the whole home & family.

Its ironic this was posted. I was just thinking about this the other day. How moms are like single moms a lot of the time. No where near the same but somewhat. I give huge kudos to single parents. I couldn't imagine being one.

ECOFRIENDLYHOUSEWIFE · April 2011

I saw that episode too, in 1979. I can't believe this is even a topic for discussion nowadays.

ECOFRIENDLYHOUSEWIFE · April 2011

kensbride08:
I says HELLS NO! DH does just as much as I do when we are both home, and thats without me even asking him to.

Is this photoshopped? I think it's a great picture but it doesn't look natural, which is why I was wondering. Cute baby!

pink.dutch.tulips · April 2011

somewhat .. but what about the moms that do all of the housework, cooking , cleaning, child care and oh yeah are the primary breadwinner too.

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