Upstate NY Babies
Just in a funk...need to let it out
I just need to vent. I hate that there always seems to be tension btw my family (mom mostly) and DH. Something came up about them visiting for spring break and things just haven't been the same since. I feel like I'm always in the middle and it sucks. I love them all, and just feel like I'm alway in a position where I have to make my DH happy or my parents happy and it never works out to make everyone happy. It's not like we see them all the time...we live freaking 12 hours away! And at the same time, my mom feels like since I'm a SAHM I should be able to just come visit at the drop of a hat. I always feel guilty that I'm not making everyone happy. When I try to talk to DH, we just end up arguing. When I try to talk to my mom, I feel like it just creates more tension btw her and DH. I don't know what else to do! And my pregnancy hormones just make it worse. Why can't family dynamics be easier???
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Re: Just in a funk...need to let it out
why is there so much tension between them? do they not get along? that would be tough...
DH gets annoyed by my mom/family every once in a while, because she can be a bit overbearing... but he realizes it's all because she loves us so much. And he's not close w/ his family at ALL, so it took some getting used to on his part... my mom really treats him like one of her own, so he wasn't used to it at first.
Yeah...what's the issue between them?
I get super annoyed at my ILs because when they come stay WAY too long. Now that we moved a little further...they stay in a little hotel nearby and so that means TWO whole days of them. They also can't just relax - everything is high strung and they are wanting help but it makes so much more work for me it is unbelievable.
Maybe your mom is a little too overbearing but you don't see it? DH never saw it about his mom until he spent a lot of time with her after we moved cleaning up our old house. He now sees her in a whole new light
Maybe you are trying too hard keeping both sides happy when you should actually pick a side and straighten the other side out - in a nice, loving way of course
I honestly think that if we lived in the same city my DH and I would end up divorced. My mom can be overbearing. I do realize that. But, I am also very close to her and hate to cause issues with my parents. I really think that DH and my mom are just very similar. They are very stubborn and like everything to be their way, so they tend to butt heads a lot. Plus, my mom has done some things to make DH mad in the past and he doesn't let things go easily.
My mom lived pretty much her entire married life next door to her parents (until they passed away) so that's what she sees at normal. If we lived in the same city, she'd be dropping by unannounced all the time.