How do you feel connected with your baby?

camdenfaithful · February 2011

I'm 13w5d and still finding it hard to accept this pregnancy as real. I thought as soon as I passed the point of my loss I would start to relax (which I did) but since the NT results and subsequent meeting with the genetic counselor I just kind of feel like a blob and numb to all of it. I made a promise to myself that I would enjoy every bit of this pregnancy and I'm just having a tough time keeping that promise to myself.

I feel like a horrible person, but DH wants to talk about baby names and start looking at daycares and I just kind of feel like I'm going through the motions. I think maybe part of it has to do with the fact that not that many people know yet (just our families minus DH's mom and sister) so I don't really talk about it all that much.

When did you ladies start to feel connected with your LO inside of you? Is there something that you did or something that happened to help you get there?

Sorry this is kind of rambling, I just feel like a terrible person for feeling this way.

Ryan&Kristin062009 · February 2011

Don't feel bad, you aren't a terrible person. After a loss(es) it's tough to get excited when you know from past experience that things can go the other way.

For me passing that milestone of being more pregnant than ever before was a big deal, and especially having U/S's often and watching LO grow and look more and more human every day. We just found out we are having a little boy last week, and I think I'm beginning to feel the beginnings of "flutters". I think just as time goes on and you reach milestone after milestone (god willing) that it becomes more real and you feel more and more connected. We are talking about crib shopping this weekend and that will be another milestone for us.

I think telling people will also help. Are you waiting for a specific time? Have you gone shopping for baby at all? or gotten ideas for the nursery?

camdenfaithful · February 2011

We wanted to wait until after we were out of first tri to tell family. DH (understandably) doesn't want to start telling friends until we've told his mom and sister which we won't be able to do until this weekend at the earliest. I didn't think I'd mind waiting, but I'm starting to go insane.

We haven't done any shopping or even gotten any real nursery ideas yet because I'm just so damn scared. I know it's silly, but I am terrified to take that first step. We're not finding out the gender so while I like to ooh and aah over baby clothes, there's no point in buying most of it.

I wish someone would take a cattle prod and kind of get my butt in gear.

Gummybear · February 2011

I am having the same problem. We are almost 19w and we still haven't told our family (I think we will this week though). I haven't bought anything, and don't plan to.

I wish I had some advice. But I don't I just wanted to give you a commiserate hug (())

vlewis515 · February 2011

I think it really hit me the first time I felt him move (like really really move not the flutters, the snake in the belly feeling movement) and even more so when I could touch him through my belly. Like he'd turn over and I could feel him with my hands and rub his back or his little butt. I just kinda felt like I was caring for him and soothing him from the outside.

Sounds corny I know!

Nathan&Christina · February 2011

Gummybear:

I am having the same problem. I haven't bought anything, and don't plan to.

I wish I had some advice. But I don't I just wanted to give you a commiserate hug (())

THIS.

HUGS TO YOU AS WELL

AngLK987 · February 2011

I completely understand. I had a missed m/c at 10 wks, and a D&C a week after that, and another miscarriage at 4wks. I'm 5wks 6 days pregnant right now and although I've told some close friends & family, I'm scared out of my mind at the thought of losing this one too. Just this morning I broke down in the shower crying, this afternoon my doc called to reschedule my appointment for this Thursday for 2 weeks later, and I cried again b/c I didn't want to wait that long to see my doctor. I feel like this whole thing is a dream and although i haven't gotten to the point of my first miscarriage I feel like this isn't going to work out either and I shouldn't get to excited incase it doesn't work out. Honestly I don't know how to make you feel better, just know you aren't alone, a lot of us feel the same way

sunflowr0803 · February 2011

vlewis515:
I think it really hit me the first time I felt him move (like really really move not the flutters, the snake in the belly feeling movement) and even more so when I could touch him through my belly. Like he'd turn over and I could feel him with my hands and rub his back or his little butt. I just kinda felt like I was caring for him and soothing him from the outside.
Sounds corny I know!

This.

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