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1st Trimester
kraeaus
member
Thoughts on Daycare
kraeaus
member
My husband and I have started to check out the local daycare centers, since the waitlists for the infant rooms can get very long in our area. Over the weekend I was telling my mom about the different places we saw and the pros and cons about each one. Then she dropped the bomb:... she wants to watch the baby for 5-6 months after I go back to work. This would cover daycare for the baby until the summer (I am a teacher) and then the baby could go into daycare the following school year when it is about 1 year old. Of course I love this idea for obvious reasons, but I have a few concerns.
1) My mom will need to drive almost an hour both ways every day to take care of the baby. That is A LOT of driving!!!
2) My mom is afraid of dogs and we have two. We always put them away when she comes over but we don't want to do that for 5-6 months every day. We are worried that the dogs will think that they aren't allowed around the baby and have associate bad feelings with it.
3) My mom can be a know-it-all and I am worried that when I ask her to do certain things with the baby, she will know better and will not respect my decisions as a parent.
4) If this doesn't work out, it will be too late to sign up for daycare.
Any thoughts ladies?
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Re: Thoughts on Daycare
As far as the driving goes obviously your mom has thought about that or else she wouldn't have offered this to you.
Do you think there is anyway she could get used to the dogs especially if she was there with them everyday? For instance spend more time at your house before the baby with the dogs out so she can get used to it.
I think all grandma's are going to be a tad bit know-it-all. Especially if this is you and your husband's first child. Just make it clear to here from the get go that ultimately everything about how your child is raised is your decision and cross that bridge when you come to it if your opinions differ.
5-6 months will go quickly. So even if it doesn't end up being the most ideal situation it won't be like that for long.
Ultimately all it comes down to though is what you are the most comfortable with. If you are more comfortable with your infant being at home with your mom then in a daycare I'd say go for it. If your more comfortable with not having to worry about maybe butting heads with your mom or problems with your dogs then I'd say keep looking at daycares. It's always nice to know though that if you can't find a daycare you're happy with you always have the option of your mom even if it's not the most ideal.
I would absolutely go the daycare route based on the above. We are incredibly happy with our daycare and their care for our son.
I think that if you're going to have anyone watch your baby for free, you have to kiss all notions of having things done "your way" goodbye. My colleague had her mother watch her baby for 6 months before she got into daycare, and it was pretty bad. Her mom didn't believe in sleep schedules, fresh air, saying no, etc (this was from age 1 - 1.5 for the baby). It really put a strain on their relationship, which really surprised my colleague because before this they had always been really close and agreed on pretty much everything in life.
Who's to say your mom would drive to your house? Maybe she's picturing you dropping off the baby and picking it up.
The dog issue is a big concern.
What do you do if she changes her mind (decides its too hard, or too far?) or her situation changes and she's no longer able to help you?
Lots to think about.
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
DD due September 1, 2014
Have you thought about splitting it up and having your Mom watch LO 2x/week and have LO in DC 3x/week. It would hold the spot and not be so tough on your Mom as I would think an hour sommue for her would get old. Your Mom could be a part of LO's life, you could save some money and it would allow your LO to benefit from DC. My concerns would be everything Meredith wrote in bold.
I used to be pretty anti-DC, but going to DC has been one of the best decisions we have made. DS has really flourished. He goes 3x/week.
Go Phils!!
A kennel, like doggie daycare?
Go Phils!!
Part-time daycare is nearly impossible to find where I am, so I don't know about this as an option for the OP. I went back to work part-time and the only thing we could do for childcare was a nanny-share, since there were no part-time spots available.
Yea, we had trouble finding one and the ones that did offer had part-time as 4 days instead of 5 (big difference). We did manage to find a great one, though. So, maybe the OP could find one. Who knows. I just love knowing that I can rely on the DC. Maybe it's just my Mom, but I would worry constantly about her watching DS (she doesn't know CPR, she isn't up to date on proper care of an infant, the commute would worry me b/c that would be a lot for my mom, the dog situation, etc). I would pay the money for peace of mind.
Go Phils!!
This 100% and x100. Think about what you are capable of dealing with. I've learned that I need to have a business relationship with my child care provider. I love letting my mom have alone time with my son - for an afternoon. Different people handle this situation different ways. As much as I would love to have free child care - I gladly pay someone so I can justify having an opinion when differences come up.
Also, if is only 5-6 months...think about all the transitioning you'll have to go through. Trusting someone - even your own mother IMO - with your brand new baby is TOUGH. You'll have to do it twice in a relatively short period of time...
natural mc @ 10w4d 3/7/10
DS2 born 9/13/12
May I ask why? My DS is in a DC that sounds like where you used to work and it has been one of the best things for him. We started him at 14 months and before that he was home with me (I work out of our home). The DC does things that I would never even think of doing in terms of activities and lessons. I actually feel like I deprived him of a lot by not having him in something like DC (there is so much offered at libraries, etc., but since I work, I could not take DS) sooner. They are wonderful with him and the lines of communication are always open. They invite and encourage the parents to take part in any activities. My DS has really blossomed since going. Just the social skills he has picked up have been worth it. He seems like an overall happier baby. When checking out schools, we made sure we were on the same path as the school in terms of how they discipline, handle time with each kid, etc.
OP, sorry to have hijacked your post.
Go Phils!!
Be happy and say yes!!!
No daycare will take care of your baby like your mom will. In daycare they hardly carry them at all. I was very fortunate to have put my daughter in daycare at 14 months. IT's not the same. You have to make adjustments for the sake of your baby. I would LOVE LOVE if my mom could take of my child.
Update:
Thank you all for your words of wisdom. After my mother made the offer we all sat down and discussed all of the issues we had. We also let both dogs into the room for a test run. The both were super calm and listened to her commands. This is of course what we expected to happen, but my mom really had her doubts. So,... after that my mom called and said she thinks that she will be able to take care of the baby with the dogs in the house!!!! My DH and I are super excited!!!