Tried to be Team Green - vent

lynn97 · February 2011

For as long as DH and I have been serious, he's been really set on not finding out the sex of a baby until they're born. Truthfully, I'd be fine either way but my type-A self thought it would be fun to not find out with our first, so we're officially Team Green. Well, we had our "big" u/s about 3 weeks ago. We told the tech that we didn't want to know. She asked if we wanted it written down in the file, at least. We said no, that we were sure about this decision. She proceeded to tell us about several other couples who later changed their mind and really regretted not having it written in the file. We still insisted on not having it written down. She continued on through the scan and was wonderful about explaining what everything was, showing us everything, etc. But she did not tell us to turn our heads as we headed "south" and I thought I caught a revealing glance of baby's sex. I didn't say anything to DH until after we left, and even then, said I'd keep my guess to myself as he said he didn't see anything. The tech was great about printing off lots of pics which we took with us (she chose the pics). Fast forward a couple days later, when I notice that my favorite pic (an angle of baby's little crossed feet, including legs), seems to reveal the same thing I saw in the room. I wasn't happy when I noticed it. I told DH that I thought a pic showed too much and that I was angry at the tech (again, I didn't say which pic or what I thought I saw). But last week, he was showing the pics to his best friend, who has a son and a daughter. His buddy stopped on the same pic and told him that the u/s looked just like his daughter's u/s pic. This makes me feel sure that I'm not crazy and just seeing things on the u/s. I feel awful that the surprise is ruined for him Sad A part of me wants to complain about the tech's irresponsibility but she was really great in every other aspect. I just really wish she'd honored our wishes. He and I have agreed to keep this to ourselves and still maintain that we don't know but it's a real bummer.

Thanks for letting me vent; I apologize for the length of this post. What would you ladies do? Anything?

sunshine336 · February 2011

Honestly, I wouldn't do anything. Maybe the tech shouldn't have chosen that pic but it sounds like a really cute one and maybe she didn't think you'd be able to discern anything regarding the sex from it. It sounds like you really like the pic too. It is disappointing when the surprise is ruined for you, but I would just make the best of it.

magnoliablossom00 · February 2011

I'm sorry that you think you may have found out the gender. I know that team green folks are pretty passionate about staying that way.

Just for comforts sake, have you considered the possibility that you could be wrong? Ultrasounds can be difficult to read and even techs say, "We can't be 100% until delivery."

I would honestly try not to dwell on it. You guys don't know anything for sure, just guessing. Try to focus on that and let go of any frustration. It won't make either of you feel better!

GL!

IrishEyes0530 · February 2011

mkd00:
I'm sorry that you think you may have found out the gender. I know that team green folks are pretty passionate about staying that way.
Just for comforts sake, have you considered the possibility that you could be wrong? Ultrasounds can be difficult to read and even techs say, "We can't be 100% until delivery."
I would honestly try not to dwell on it. You guys don't know anything for sure, just guessing. Try to focus on that and let go of any frustration. It won't make either of you feel better!
GL!

This! Especially since the tech didn't confirm anything, you could be wrong. It may end up being a surprise after all. If I were in your position, I wouldn't be convinced boy or girl unless I was told at the doctor.

lynn97 · February 2011

The pic IS my favorite - just b/c who wouldn't think tiny little crossed feet are cute?? That's part of my frustration, though. If she'd just cropped the pic different, we wouldn't be able to see anything. Oh well. We've definitely taken the "we don't know 'til we KNOW" stance so I guess we'll just keep in that direction. Thanks for the thoughts/advice, ladies.

LollyBug18 · February 2011

Sorry you got some hints you didn't want to, that's always a bummer. You can try to put it out of your mind and tell yourself you still can't be certain of baby's sex or you can assume it really is a little girl and keep it to yourselves (or even tell everyone, depending on what you prefer). We found out we're having a girl and haven't told anyone else yet and honestly? I'm loving it. I'm sure I'd be just as excited about the baby if I didn't know but for some reason, I just feel closer to her because I can call her "baby girl" and talk to DH about his "daughter", that sort of thing. And then it's also sort of fun that we're the only ones that know. It's hard to not let it slip sometimes though! I didn't want to find out at first but now I can't imagine not knowing. So it could be a positive thing if the surprise didn't last until June!

kmv68 · February 2011

I am sorry you feel cheated out of the excitement of finding out at delivery. Hopefully you will still be surprised as one pic isn't a sure thing of anything.

As for complaining about the tech being "irresponsible", I am not sure I agree that she was. Most people who have never had a child or are not "science nerds" don't really have a clue what they are looking at on those screens until they are told and I am sure she wasn't purposefully trying to get a shot where you had a chance to see. As for the pic, if the legs are crossed there is a good chance if it is a boy you wouldn't see parts anyway. If you can see 3 very CLEAR lines, then maybe it is a bad shot that reveals the sex, but I don't think the tech did anything on purpose or did something wrong.

Hope you can move on from here and enjoy not knowing "for sure".

cvl105 · February 2011

While it's frustrating that you think you know the sex and didn't want to...the sex is the last thing the tech is thinking about during the anatomy scan. I'm sorry you don't think you'll be surprised....but I wouldn't complain. I honestly think you would just look like one of those people that complain about everything. Complaining, in this instance, isn't going to change anything or give you anything in return.

I'd just suck it up and try to move on and convince yourself that you really don't know what it is....because really, you don't. I'm sorry you think you've found out...that must be disappointing if you didn't want to know, no matter how it happened.

dolphant3 · February 2011

I honestly thought I saw a penis on the screen at our anatomy scan before we told the Dr. we didn't want to know the sex. It was a zoomed out view where we could see the arms and the legs. The tech was standing right there, and I asked her at the end (after I was getting cleaned up and the machine was off) if she knew what we were having, like if she could tell when we did the close ups and DH and I looked away. She said honestly, she didn't look close enough or see anything discerning one way or another, and so she didn't even know.

I was still almost sure I saw a penis, but she's the professional.. And there have been a bunch of people on here that have been told girl by u/s techs, only to be told a few weeks later that they were definitely boys...

NeenTheBean · February 2011

I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions on the u/s pic we weren't team green got a pretty good view got told girl and he was a boy. So don't worry about it.

lynn97 · February 2011

kmv68:
I am sorry you feel cheated out of the excitement of finding out at delivery. Hopefully you will still be surprised as one pic isn't a sure thing of anything.
As for complaining about the tech being "irresponsible", I am not sure I agree that she was. Most people who have never had a child or are not "science nerds" don't really have a clue what they are looking at on those screens until they are told and I am sure she wasn't purposefully trying to get a shot where you had a chance to see. As for the pic, if the legs are crossed there is a good chance if it is a boy you wouldn't see parts anyway. If you can see 3 very CLEAR lines, then maybe it is a bad shot that reveals the sex, but I don't think the tech did anything on purpose or did something wrong.
Hope you can move on from here and enjoy not knowing "for sure".

Only the feet are crossed and there are 3 clear lines. Still, maybe I'm wrong. We're letting it go. Apparently I'm crazy.

M&M227 · February 2011

Aw, sorry that is really yucky. Our tech asked us and we said we didn't want to know so he promised to tell us if we had to look away and not to print any pics revealing the gender. I still watched the whole time but I didn't see anything either way. The tech said he knew the gender but did not even come close to telling us.

casirdms · February 2011

Pictures can be deceiving. I can't tell you how many times I've been scanning patients and someone is like "OMG there is babies face!" And I'm looking at the stomach or something. Also, just because you think you see 3 clear lines, since the angle of the picture was not meant to document that, and was focused on the feet I wouldn't go buy that. I have seen many scrotums "squished" between babies legs that resemble 3 lines and until you angle up you don't see the wee-wee.

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