DH thinks I hold LO to much?

chelsead83 · February 2011

So do you think that you can hold your 6 week old to much and they get used to it and that is all they want? I do hold her a lot. He seems to think that since our son did not need to be help all the time that she does not either? He lets her CIO for like 3 min. when I am sleeping and I wake up and go and get her. How do I break her of this habit if that is what it is? I just don't think you can spoil a 6 week old but maybe I am wrong?

geminibrooke · February 2011

I say enjoy them while they are still this small. I do give him a minute to see if he is sleep crying because I don't want to wake him up prematurely and miss out on the precious quiet time or sleep time I get. They are too young to be spoiled right now and just need their mommas

blueyd1 · February 2011

It has been scientifically proven that you cannot spoil a newborn. Babies this young have not grasped the concept of causation, so you holding her all the time does not mean she will "want" it. Touch and comfort is so important right now and, in my humble opinion, a little one should not be left to CIO when they're this young. They cry to communicate; it's the only tool they have right now.

I do not think there is any habit you need to break. She's 6 weeks old, hold her all you want and do not let anyone make you feel bad for doing that.

Maybe show your DH this (just one article of many): https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51753

NicoleWI · February 2011

You are right! People told me with our first baby that I was "holding her too much" and I'm so glad I ignored them. It's GOOD for babies at that age to be held a lot, CIO is NOT good at that age in any expert's opinion, and you're not going to "spoil" the baby. Plus, the time goes so fast, and before you know it the sleepy tiny baby stage will end and you won't have a chance again to just hold and love your baby in those quiet nap times. Hold her and enjoy it!

mishu917 · February 2011

This is something my DH and I disagree on too. I just told him I will deal with her being spoiled later if that's the case. My mom told me she always held all three of us and we were not spoiled by any means, and that I should always pick her up. She isn't spoiled either, she hardly cries, so why ignore when she does?? I think only a mom can relate to their babies crying, you know, we really feel it in us when they start to cry, and most of the times we are the ones that can soothe them.

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2011

You certainly can't spoil a newborn, and holding a baby a lot is beneficial as other posters have mentioned.

The only advice I would give is that when you notice that she's getting sleepy, put her down in her bed while she's still awake so she learns to fall asleep on her own. Of course if she starts crying tend to her, but if she just fusses, try to rub her back, sing to her, etc without picking her up if possible. Teaching a baby how to fall asleep on their own is the best skill you can teach them and there's nothign wrong with practicing that now.

bethandjoe09 · February 2011

I agree with PP that you can't hold them too much right now (as long as you're able to sleep safely and get necessary household stuff done).

Here's a different article that pretty much says you can't spoil (or that what people consider "spoiling" is actually a good thing): https://healthland.time.com/2010/09/29/no-such-thing-as-too-much-love-spoiled-babies-grow-up-to-be-smarter-kinder-kids/

Lucky_Dragonfly · February 2011

at this point you can't hold them too much. they are still forming the trust bond with you. MH said the same thing to me with DS and now with DD he is fine if I want to hold her and he understands now that sometimes they just want to be held.

Oilers_Mama · February 2011

There comes a time when they wont want you to hold them anymore so just enjoy it while you can.

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