Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How do you move on?

I had to say goodbye after the joy of knowing for 7 weeks. Yesterday was the one week mark of not being pregnant anymore and I am trying to come to grips with it. I will never forget the elation on my husbands face when we found out that I was carrying. I stayed home from work this week and even the guilt of that is killing me so I am going back tomorrow to try to get back to business. I feel like I should be over this to some degree but I am still so blah all the time. I dont want my husband to see me like this anymore and I can't stay home forever. Any ideas? I feel like I am fighting the depression and losing.

Re: How do you move on?

  • I am sorry for you loss.  I find the grieving to be a day by day... there are some good days and some bad days.  It has been 5 weeks since we were diagnosed with a missed miscarriage and 1 week since I miscarried.  I have been forcing myself back into life and that has helped, so I hope work helps you focus.  

    My dr said that postpartum depression is possible after miscarriage, so if I didn't call her after a few weeks if I just wasn't feeling "ok" and we go through some options (support groups, medication, etc)  So give yourself some time to grieve but if you feel like you are losing to depression talk to your dr. 

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  • It doesn't get any easier I've noticed, but I cry less often and can get through the day now.

     Today was terrible - just woke up feeling lonely and found out a friend of the family is pregnant on her first cycle of trying. A couple tears and back to reality. 

    The first couple days were absolutely hell. Nobody is going to deny you the grief. I found that getting out and exercising kept my mind and body busy. I'm sure not a physically fit girl, but the movement made me feel human again and got my mood up enough to get out of the hold of depression.  Maybe you could give it a try. Or even go walking around the block with your husband after work..?

    If you feel like you're still in a rut, maybe you could see a therapist for a couple sessions of grief counseling. That's why they exist!

     We all know your pain. I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. 

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  • I found out on christmas day this past year that I had a miscarriage. I was only 6 weeks along but ohhh so excited! It's all I could talk about to my fiance because we still weren't sure how to tell our strict christian parents we had gotten prego 5 months BEFORE our wedding. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever been through I curled up in my finaces lap and cried for what seemed like hours.

    It's been two months and four days since I miscarried and I still have a hard time being around babies without crying. I have become obessed with babies, it's not healthy.

    It's okay to be sad but don't let it control your life the way I have. I work in childcare which does not help at all and I have let having a baby control my life, I feel. Talking to your doctor is a great idea!

  • It has been 5 weeks since I lost my baby at 8 1/2 weeks to a missed m/c.  I cried every day for the first 2 weeks, and I still cry at least once a week.  It doesn't seem possible, but it will get a little easier (I figure it has to!).  I think about my baby every day, but I just remember that she is in Heaven.  It helps me get though it.  Like I said, I still cry.  I'm still sad, but it's different.  I guess I'm starting to accept that this is now part of my life.  It's going to take a different amount of time for everyone.  There is not "set" amount of time to grieve.  You've lost a baby.  Be sad.  Be angry.  Feel what you need to feel, but if it starts disrupting your life so much that you can't move on or your relationship with your fiance is suffering, it might be time to talk to a professional.  There is not shame in seeking help when you need it!  I'll be sending T&P your way.

    BFP- 12/29 Missed M/C- 1/19 D&C- 1/21
  • Moving on is the hardest part. I had my miscarriage in July 2010 and I still think about it all of the time. My due date was at the beginning of this month and it was a terrible day for me. After my miscarriage I was out of work for only three days before I went back and I wish I had taken more time. I wanted to get back into the groove just so I didn't think about it but I did think about it and I still do think about it at work. It's definitely hard to move on but you need to try to get back into your "normal" routine and stay busy. I found when I was doing something I wasn't thinking about the baby. When I am alone with nothing to do I think about the baby a lot and it is difficult.

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