We lost a baby almost a year to our due date, kinda cool in my book but I woke up this morning feeling a little sad. I should be thrilled about the baby shower but this morning all I could think about was the baby we lost...I don't expect anyone here to understand but I thought ya'll might would. Almost like if I celebrate this baby then its like I worry I will feel like I'm forgetting the other one. I haven't even mentioned it to my hubby yet b/c I know I will cry...okay, time to go suck it up and put on a pretty face.
Re: my shower is today but I am feeling sad
I think we all totally understand. No matter how happy and excited we are for our babies, that doesn't erase how much we miss the LOs we lost.
I have a lot of guilt, because at this point we are so much further than even our latest loss, and I am so much more...I guess invested or attached, even though those aren't quite the right words, than I was before. I feel guilt that I'm looking forward more and not as much back to my angels.
It's normal, and part of this whole PGAL thing. It's hard, and you have to just flow with it and feel how you feel.
I hope you have a great day, and know that it's okay to feel both happy and sad.
Someone posted a quote the other day- "the sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes".
I think it puts into words perfectly how most of the PGAL ladies feel: so excited, but still so broken.
Hope the shower goes well.
Im sorry you have to feel this way on such a good day. Its going to be hard and dont we all know that. But celebrating the birth of this baby is good, none of us women are forgetting our previous child with being happy about our next it may feel that way at time. We have been threw hell and back so I hope you get a smile on your face because you deserve this.
hugs
I definitely know how you feel...I just had one of those days myself. I think it's fine to be sad about your loss, but at the same time important to look forward to the current miracle inside you.
I agree with the previous poster that we've all been through hell we deserve to feel joy for these blessings.
Personally, I try to think the little one I lost is looking down on me and happy to see mama so happy.
Try to enjoy yourself today. Everyone (lost or alive) is wishing you the best.