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Advice with talking to fiances daughter....
Both me and my fiance have a child each from a past relationship, and since we are getting married, I thought it would be a good thing to talk to his daughter about it [she is five years old]. His daughter and I get a long very well, she acts and seems to like me very much, but when I brought this idea up to her, her exact words were "that's stupid". I mean yeah she is only five years old, but it hurt a lot. I don't know if I should take that serious or not? Any ideas on how to deal/approach/etc with this?
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Re: Advice with talking to fiances daughter....
Don't let a 5-yr old dictate your fiance & your decision to get married. My now 5-yr old stepson said essentially the same thing when we asked him what he thought about Daddy and I getting married. I don't think he really understood or grasped the concept of what it meant for us to get married. He was 4 1/2 when we got married. My DH and his ex divorced when SS was 11months old. So he really has no concept of what it means to be married.
He now tells me he loves me and gives me hugs and kisses all the time.
Hang in there. Just remember that she's 5. I would just be matter-of-fact with her about it-- Give her lots of information and make sure she understands that you're not replacing her mommy (if mommy is still in the picture). I would also recommend looking at the library for books about step families-- kids at this age ask lots of questions and want concrete answers.
Good luck!
--anniya
I would agree with anniya, I came into SD's life when she was 5, we got married when she wa 8. It might be a discussion for you and your FI to have with both of your kids together (depending on how old yours is). I think she will be excited when it comes to the wedding, make sure to keep her involved, give her a part in the wedding (My SD LOVED that!) She would come with me to appointments (which yes, was sometimes hard), but she always felt very included. I would ask her for her opinion on things too.
I am not by any means saying she should dictate your wedding but just make her feel included and get her excited about it. GL!
She's FIVE. You should have been prepared for a five year old answer. Even a negative one.
Take the advice of the other posters, stay positive, keep it in perspective, keep her involved and make sure she gets some attention (but not suck up overkill) to help her adjust to this.
So when she said that...how did you react? Hurt? Or did you see that as an opening for her to tell you her fears and concerns?