Can I complain for a moment?
easjer05
member
Ever since I started with my new department (back in August), my cycle has flipped out. Mostly stress, I'm sure - the weirdest cycles coincide with the most stressful times.
Things are better at work since my old boss left. My colleague was just hired to her position, and it makes my own job way, way more secure so things are better in addition to simply being more settled in with my departments and closer to being caught up generally.
But still. Funky. I thought I'd finally ovulated in January (weak ovulation, but still an ovulation), and then things were going well this cycle, I thought. Until today, when I've been spotting all freaking day and now have cramping. UGH.
UGH.
My cycle being screwy makes it that much harder to decide if we want to ttc or not. Not a fan. I definitely need to make my annual appointment and make sure there aren't other possible issues, and then talk to Dr. B about testing. Is it crazy that I'm sort of uninterested in starting that up? It's just that we know there will be so much trouble keeping a pregnancy to viability/term that I don't want to hassle with fertility treatments on top of that. It makes me question whether it's worth it, and if we shouldn't just focus on saving up for a gestational surrogate.
Re: Can I complain for a moment?
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
Go off! Absolutely! It's so damn frustrating to face down a high-risk pregnancy and know going in that the best thing you can hope for is bi-weekly appointments, multiple docs/specialists, surgery a third of the way through, and if all goes well, minimal restrictions and then turn around and not be able to get pregnant to begin with.
Bah!
And I can't go on birth control! If I could, it would all be easier to just stop for awhile, take care of things that are outstanding, and give it another go/wait for work to settle a bit more. But because of family history, hormonal bc is out for me. Because of the ectopic, IUD is out for me. So that leaves barriers. Which, sure, we could use, but it won't actually do anything to ease my anxiety. FAM worked for 6 years before we started ttc, why add stress and expense?
I said it on my blog, but really, I just want the decision made for me, I guess. Adulthood is far more like what my mother warned me it would be than what I thought it would be. While I do get to stay up until midnight if I want to do, I do have the pay the bills! What a *** deal!
Gabriel Ross - August 24, 2009 * Vivienne Rose - May 1, 2012
My Blog
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
Yeah, that sums it up pretty well. Sigh. Sorry, babe. I wish my crystal ball was working for both of us.
Gabriel Ross - August 24, 2009 * Vivienne Rose - May 1, 2012
My Blog
tritto
Dx with endo & blocked left tube - TTC #1 for 29 cycles before miracle BFP, #2 - Surprise!!
My TTC/PG blog / Panda Phenomenon Explained
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Nothing breeds faster than Crazy