Do you have to invite certain family members?

kate05 · February 2011

A little background - my SIL is one of the few people on this earth I absolutely hate. She is a liar and a manipulator who had caused DH's family nothing but pain. I have some amazing stories but they would take up half the page. My shower is at the end of April and when I called my MIL to let her know she asked if I was going to invite "troll wench". Honestly, I do not want her there. She will only cause drama and chaos and I don't need it. Plus, my mom is sick and I do not want SIL picking up on something (we haven't told many people about my mom) or stressing out my mom. Do I have to invite her just because my BIL made a mistake and married her? I realize I sound harsh but I am talking about a woman who called my MIL a "fing wh*ore" and told my MIL I hated her.

Edit: MIL says I have to invite her. I cannot believe she would want her there.

EastCoastBride · February 2011

No you don't. But you have to realize there may be fallout, even if its just your MIL being mad. My take - decide what's worse. Your SIL being there w her drama or her not being there and that drama.

rhubarb123 · February 2011

I would invite her and hope she doesn't come. You married into that family and unfortunately you now get to deal with the nutcases it has. If you mom is ill and your MIL finds out she will most likely tell your SIL anyway. I've had to invite many family members I don't much care for...but they are unfortunately related to my DH or kids (even through marriage).

EastCoastBride · February 2011

Also, what does your DH think? His family, partially his call. I personally think you, the mom to be, matter more than your SIL

MrsMOM1129 · February 2011

I'm not inviting my MIL for some of the same reasons, yes my MIL! I would definately not invite your SIL. Everyone was so relieved when they found out I wasn't inviting MIL to the shower even Grandma who is MIL mom. Tell your MIL you do not need the stress of your SIL that close to delivery and you just want to enjoy your shower. she'll understand. Both reasons why I didn't invite my MIL I knew I would be misrable and stressed out the ENTIRE time! PS DH doesn't like MIL either he doesn't even call her mom so I'm not being a bad wife just a smart pregnant lady thinking about how the stress would effect my LO.

BrendaLou1969 · February 2011

Don't invite her. You obviously don't get along with her, she obviously doesn't like the family so why bother. I personally think your MIL is wrong on this one. You definately DO NOT NEED that type of stress that late in your pregnancy.

Corts · February 2011

I'm sure I will be going through this as well. You do not need to invite her. If the family is decent they will not even tell your SIL about the shower. The day is about you, not your MIL. If she cannot behave like a respectful adult then she does not need to be around. End of story.

Temp38995750004016 · February 2011

I would invite her to avoid more drama. If she's as horrible as you say, I really doubt she will come.

mt05 · February 2011

It sounds like this is the wife of your husband's brother, am I correct?

If that is the case, I don't think you need to invite her, just explain to your MIL that it would make you uncomfortable having her there. This is your shower after all. However, if I have it all wrong, and this is your husband's sister, then IMO, I think you do need to invite her to avoid friction with the rest of the family.

In the end though, it is up to you, so do what makes you happy. GL!

cozylittlecave · February 2011

EastCoastBride:
No you don't. But you have to realize there may be fallout, even if its just your MIL being mad. My take - decide what's worse. Your SIL being there w her drama or her not being there and that drama.

This! It sounds like you should definitely not invite her, but I agree with just pointing out that you'll still have to deal with crap about it. Just be cause you have the right to not invite her (and everyone agrees with that choice) doesn't mean she or your MIL won't throw a fit. Just be firm with MIL- I'd think she'd get over it.

Kissimi21 · February 2011

You don't need to invite trouble... literally. If she is known to cause drama and makes you uncomfortable, she definitely doesn't have to be invited. Your shower is supposed to be a happy time for you and if she is a known risk for ruining that happiness, she can stay home. Explain it to you MIL gently, but firmly.

I had my shower yesterday and there were two of my aunts and one cousin that were not invited because they are known drama-magnets/troublemakers. Too bad for them, everyone else had a great time. My cousin, the daughter of one of those aunts, even thanked me for not inviting them because she knew the kind of drama and bad feelings they would have brought with them.

ryry1977 · February 2011

No way. It is your party and it will just ruin it.

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