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Postpartum Depression
Alyssa102
member
Help, Please! PPD Q
Alyssa102
member
Hi Ladies,
To Start, DD is an extremely high needs baby. She had horrible colic for about 6 months and constantly needed to be held and walked. She screamed ALL DAY. If she was awake, she was screaming, She is 9 months now and we do have good days with her, but she always needs to be entertained by me. By that, I mean, I can NEVER put her down in an exersaucer or jumperoo and make dinner, she'll just scream. If we are on the floor playing with toys and I get up to grab the phone, or fix my pants ect..., she'll scream. The second she does not have my full attention, she screams and it is like a trigger, she'll be laughing and smiling one min. and it'll turn into a scream and I'll have to pick her up and walk with her. We have been to the dr. and fortunately, she is in perfect health. This is just her personality they keep telling me. So, needless to say, everyday seems like it is longer then the last and I love my daughter very much, but I feel like I want my mat. leave to be over so I can go back to work, cause that'll be a break from her.
When she was a newborn and screamed all day, I used to joke and say, "now I know why people go crazy and kill their kids". Everyday, I have thoughts of suicide and even say out loud (usually to myself) that I want to kill myself, I have thoughts of punching DD in the face when she goes on her screaming fits. Although I think these things, I know in my heart I would NEVER act on them. This is the truth, I could never harm my child. But I fear the future.
I am always picking fights with my husband and this baby has been a strain on our marriage. I always just thought that I use all of my patience on DD, I don't have any left for anyone else.
When I am out with my mom friends at playdates and such, I am happy and nothing is wrong, but when I am alone or with DH, that is when these thoughts and attitude occur.
Could this be PPD or just stress caused by a needy baby?
Thanks so much.
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Re: Help, Please! PPD Q
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
Ditto this. Please call your DR ASAP. PPD is a very serious disease. But it can be treated. The fact that you are talking about harming yourself and your child is very toubling - you don't have to suffer. Please get help.
Ditto this. Please call your DR ASAP. PPD is a very serious disease. But it can be treated. The fact that you are talking about harming yourself and your child is very troubling - you don't have to suffer. Please get help.