Attachment Parenting

Thanks for letting DD CIO MIL

I asked MIL if she would listen for DD and go in if she woke up while I took a shower tonight. When I stopped running the water, I could hear DD hysterically crying. I ran into the room and she was near throwing up. I picked her up and nursed her and finally got her back to sleep. When I went downstairs, MIL had turned the monitor down. I couldn't believe it. She has been trying to force CIO on me for weeks now since we have been visiting her. I keep telling her I won't do it. She told me tonight she thought it might be easier on me if she did it cause I couldn't. I get that she thinks she is being helpful, but I am fuming right now. On top of this, this morning she wanted grandma time and so she watched DD while I did some other things and then told me after how she had to give her a serious time out cause she wasn't listening. Um, she is one. I can't wait to leave.
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Re: Thanks for letting DD CIO MIL

  • Who gives a one year old a timeout???????

     Want me to come kidnap you lol?

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  • I know! I just booked my flight today so Im counting down now. 

     

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  • That would infuriate me! Hope you get to leave soon!
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  • imagekwinters87:

    Who gives a one year old a timeout???????

    THIS!

    And CIO, even per Ferber and Weissblum, does not entail random 'oh let's just let a baby cry until she falls asleep if she wakes up on some Thursday night'. That just teaches the baby that sometimes, for no apparent reason, grandma won't come pick me up. I am not trying to defend CIO because I don't believe in the full on version, but even that has a structure to it. Sorry your DD had to endure this.

    Single mom of DD (2010), TTC #2 since June 2013.
    Occasionally I'm blogging about my life with flybaby.
  • That would drive me crazy.

    And you know I don't think she does think she's being helpful. She thinks she's right, and she thinks that if only she has a chance to show you how CIO is super successful then she'll be right, you'll be wrong and you'll be greatful for being shown the error of your ways.

    Maybe if you'd said, "I would like to do CIO but I just can't listen to LO cry." then I would buy she was being helpful.

    But really she is being  pushy and sneaky. You're a better DIL than I am. I would have gone nuts at her.


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  • I wouldn't be leaving my child alone with someone who so clearly disrespected me as a parent.
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  • imagekwinters87:

    Who gives a one year old a timeout???????

     Want me to come kidnap you lol?

    My pedi suggested this at our 1-year visit, actually.  We nodded and smiled and ignored it along with all his other "parenting" advice.  

    I'm sorry you're stuck in this position, though.  I hate when family members think they know how to raise your kid better than you do. 

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  • imagepepomntpat:
    I wouldn't be leaving my child alone with someone who so clearly disrespected me as a parent.

    Ugh, totally this.  And I would make it a point to tell her so. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that.  Hopefully the remainder of your stay goes quick. 

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  • imagepepomntpat:
    I wouldn't be leaving my child alone with someone who so clearly disrespected me as a parent.

    This!

  • Ughh...so sorry she did this!

    That would definetly be the last time I'd let her watch LO.  Hope you get to leave soon.

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  • Wow, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, and that your DD experienced that.  I would have lost it if my MIL did that, so I admire your restraint.  Hope the rest of your stay goes quick!  ((HUGS))
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  • imagepepomntpat:
    I wouldn't be leaving my child alone with someone who so clearly disrespected me as a parent.

     

    This.

     Your husband needs to have a nice, long chat with his mother.  NOT YOU, him.  He needs to make it clear that he will not allow his mother to disrespect HIM, or his wife, or his daughter that way.  Period.

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  • imageerinkate23:

    imagepepomntpat:
    I wouldn't be leaving my child alone with someone who so clearly disrespected me as a parent.

     

    This.

     Your husband needs to have a nice, long chat with his mother.  NOT YOU, him.  He needs to make it clear that he will not allow his mother to disrespect HIM, or his wife, or his daughter that way.  Period.

    this exactly. ugh. I'm sorry 

  • imageKateLouise:

    That would drive me crazy.

    And you know I don't think she does think she's being helpful. She thinks she's right, and she thinks that if only she has a chance to show you how CIO is super successful then she'll be right, you'll be wrong and you'll be greatful for being shown the error of your ways.

    Maybe if you'd said, "I would like to do CIO but I just can't listen to LO cry." then I would buy she was being helpful.

    But really she is being  pushy and sneaky. You're a better DIL than I am. I would have gone nuts at her.


     

    This! She is trying to undermine you as LO's mother. She doesn't have to agree with your parenting style, but she has to at least honor it when you are trusting her to watch your child. Personally that would be the last time I let her watch my child. My IL's will never watch LO because of reasons just like this, they cannot be trusted. 

  • not ok.

    i will make concession with grandparents on a few things, but CIO (to the point of screaming like that, anyway) is not one of them.

  • Wow.

    I think I'd have a "nice" talk with my mom if she did that and have my wife have a "nice" talk with her mom if she was the one who did that.

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  • i'm pissed FOR you!! i wouldn't be leaving them alone again.
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  • imagepepomntpat:
    I wouldn't be leaving my child alone with someone who so clearly disrespected me as a parent.

    This!  I can see MIL doing something like this because she "knows better."  But she would not be left in charge of LO again. 

    Married to my best friend 6/5/10
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  • The CIO thing doesn't bother me exp for older babies buttttt it I had asked her NOT to and then she did, thats not cool.  She should respect your wishes.  However, a time out for a 1 year old...thats just weird.  Who does that?  She can't even talk much less understand that what she is doing is wrong....hummm

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  • i'm kinda new to this board, but i think i <3 you guys! if one more person (family included) tells us we need to let LO CIO I may lose my mind! She likes to be held and if she gets upset she too then gets sick and hyperventalates....after that 1st (and only time) we were done! and ive regretted it ever since even nursing didnt calm her down :(

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  • I wouldn't leave DD with MIL any more after this point since she has already proven to you that she doesn't respect your parenting style or know what is age appropriate. Grandma time does not mean that she has to be alone with DD.
  • I'm lurking (due in October) and I am sorry, but your MIL's actions horrified me.  We were covering development and up to a point young children and babies cry because they need to know you will respond. CIO just doesn't sound like it is a good idea.  Fortunately MIL agrees with this.
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