Question for 2nd+ time moms

msohn80 · February 2011

I'm absolutely thrilled to be the first-time mom in June. However, both of my DH's and my family members & relatives live abroad and won't be able to visit us when our baby arrives. DH works from 9-7ish and won't be much helpful except for the weekend either. So basically, I'm going to be home alone with my baby all day...without any support.

Do you think I can handle the new baby and my 4-lb Maltese (who sleeps most of the day and only needs to be taken outside 3-4 time for a very quick relief) all by myself? I'd love to get some help. But those postpartum doula services are super expensive. I might just hire a house cleaning service once a week or so.

Please share if you've had a similar experience and the outcome. Thanks!

Galena99 · February 2011

You can do it. My mantra was always, "single moms do this all the time." Babies sleep A LOT and you'll be able to get more done than you thought you could. You'll just need help getting to doctor appointments if you have a c-section because you're not allowed to drive for a while.

egpitt22 · February 2011

I had help the first 2 weeks from my mom, but after that, my husband worked a similar schedule to yours (9-6) and I also have a small dog It was wonderful to have my mom there to help, but as scared as I was for her to leave, it really wasn't bad at all. The good news is, that early on, the baby will really be sleeping & eating most of the time. I actually found that it was easier at that time to get housework done than it was while I was working! Since it will be nice weather, taking your dog outside will give you a good excuse to take the baby for a walk & get some fresh air, or at least step outside for a few minutes every day.

Good luck, I hope that helps!!

mesr · February 2011

yes, you can do it! i think you'll welcome the chance to take you baby outside with the dog and get a little exercise and fresh air too. it's great that we're due when the weather will be nice.

ShangriLaRose · February 2011

Trust me honey... if single moms and wives of soldiers in the military can do it completely alone while their hubby's are gone on deployments, so can you. It may not always be easy or simple, but it can certainly be done. Like PP's said... take the baby outside with you when you walk the dog. (Maybe get a carrier or a sling, so your hands will be free to hold the dog on it's leash.) And remember too... babies sleep A LOT. Even though you'll be taking it easy to start with... (and in that time, don't worry about the house... no one is going to care, as it's perfectly understandable!)... you'll be amazed at what you can still do, and how much time you can still get in to do light things around the house. (At least, I was able to after my c-section.)

When our DS (who is now 2.5) was born, my husband worked offshore in the Gulf, and was only home one week a month. Now, my husband is active-duty Army, and just got back in August after being gone for 16 months straight. (First between Basic and AIT and Airborne school... then he was immediately deployed.)Trust me sweetheart... you can do it.

courtneyjean7 · February 2011

you can do it! my fiance' travels all over the US for work, hes usually gone up to 20 days at a time and then home for a week and then gone again. i was able to handle my DD when she was a newborn, and our crazy hyper puggle puppy. this time ill have our crazy puppy, 2 year old DD and newborn DS. im a little nervous this time around but i think ill be able to handle it! just think positive thoughts!

kattyleigh · February 2011

You can totally do it! Honestly, once you get the hang of it, newborns are far easier to care for because they sleep so much and don't require constant entertainment. You can put them in the bouncy seat and take a long hot shower while they sleep. Let the dishes pile up, the floor go unvacuumed and unmopped. It's okay. Plop your LO in the stroller and get outside. We moved a few weeks after DD was born to a new state because DH got a promotion and I didn't know anyone. DH of course had to be at work right away and my therapy was to walk walk walk. Remember to eat. When your husband does come home from work, or when someone does offer help, remember to take some time for yourself. Whether that is reading uniterrupted, watching a show you love, taking a bath, whatever. Don't use that time to do chores. The absolute hardest thing for me (and I think many moms will agree) was the breastfeeding. It can be excruciatingly painful and difficult and you will feel frusterated at one time or another. If you do plan to BF, use your hospital's BF resources such as the lactation consultant for help. I'll bet it's a free service.

soontobe05 · February 2011

I agree. You can definitely do it. Newborns sleep a lot and they're way easier than you think. Everyone tells you scary things just to freak you out, but it's really not bad. Like PP said you will need someone to drive you to the doctor if you have a c-section but other than that, you'll be great! Definitely also take time for yourself whenever you can get it. I didn't and I had a total breakdown when DD was about 2wks old because I was so worn out and felt lost. My favorite thing to do (and still is now that I have a toddler running around) was to take a long hot shower when I got free time. Just do it. Smile

thirdtimemama · February 2011

You'll do great. The beginning is a little 'what do I do now" but it passes quickly. Newborns don't throw you many curve balls. I didn't have anyone stay with me or any hired help after either of my children thus far. I am more worried now b/c I do have the older kids to entertain, that requires far more attention, planning and juggling.

No pets here, can't help much on that front but I know the weather will make things easier for all of us.

If you have the extra money to hire some one to clean, why not, at least initially, if it's of big importance to you. Biggest struggle IMO is meal planning and prep. I'd put my efforts into planning to stock your fridge/freezer with meals made ahead b/c if you aren't taking care of yourself and eating well everything else is harder.

Since it sounds like you'll be home alone with baby and dog a lot, I'd also recommend finding a moms group near you. I was able to meet other moms with babies the same age. It was INVALUABLE for me to have that support system. Six years later, they are still some of my closest friends.

Want a personalized experience?

Question for 2nd+ time moms

Re: Question for 2nd+ time moms

Choose Another Board

Search Boards