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June 2011 Moms
bunnymama625
member
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MIL not excited??
bunnymama625
member
My mil can be sweet.... then again she can go on a very high pitched crazy rant as well.
DH is the "good son", and until we married, I was the random girl pulling him away from them. After the wedding, they seemed to accept that I was here to stay...then we got pregnant.
MIL seriously never asks how the baby is. She asks once per visit how I'm doing, but doesn't really show any interest in the answer and certainly doesn't like discussing the baby at all. We've had a bit of a scare lately with marginal placenta previa, and she didn't seem concerned, only mad and argued when DH said we wouldn't be traveling to their house (2.5 hours away on a good day) until we got the all-clear from the obgyn.
For my shower (which was many states away) she sent a nice gift, but kind of random-- a nightgown with bib and blanket, and a little sweater- very nice (Janie & Jack), but pretty much the same present she gets for showers of her friends daughters. I actually couldn't fit it in my suitcase on the way back, and apologized and said my mother was shipping it... she shrugged and changed the subject. Add all this to a loooooong tipsy speech we got pre-wedding about how much she hates little girls (she's a kindergarten teacher), and how she thinks they are all little b*'s.....we're having a girl.
To OTHER people (like my mother), it's a different picture. She goes on about how excited she is and how great I'm looking (she's never mentioned that to me).
DH thinks she's unexcited b/c it's a girl (he keeps saying-- she's just weird). Best Friend thinks its b/c it's one more thing pulling DH away from her.
I'm trying to let this not upset me, but this is the first grandchild on both sides, and my parents are super excited, so the contrast is kind of glaring.
Is there anything I can do to get her more "into" the baby? Or should I just give up and enjoy the excitement of everyone else?
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Re: MIL not excited??
My MIL is just the same! She rarely asks how baby is. Her only daughter (my SIL) had a girl 6 months ago and thats all my MIL ever talks about.
At least my parents are absolutely stoked. (its their first grandchild!)
Blog: http://hellodarlingxoxo.blogspot.com/
is your MIL my MIL because my god they sound similar!
DH is the favourite - it's well known - and up until our wedding day MIL was always quite sweet - that is until the ring went on my finger and we fell pregnant ... now i honestly think she hates me. she does the same thing RE: telling people how excited she is to be a grand mother (this will be her first grandchild) but to me she couldn't care less about how i am feeling or how the baby is doing - she has never asked and she isn't interested in attending my baby shower.
I've learnt to accpet my MIL for who she is - lovely when there's a crowd or in front of DH and just plain rude when there isn't.
don't let it get to you.... in the end it'll be her loss when your daughter prefers to spend time with the other grandma (your mum)!
It is a total bummer when people who are close to you aren't excited. I'm in the same situation.
First, stop comparing your family with your husband's family. It isn't fair to either side, and it is only setting you up for more disapointment. Just accept what is.
No, there is nothing that can do to force her to be more "into" the baby. And really, would you want to? Would you really want someone to be fake about their intentions to live up to your expectations?
Your second sentence hit the nail on the head - enjoy your mom and all of the other positive people in your life. Maybe even do something special for your husband. It must be really tough for him .... it is his own mom.