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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
yourmom5309
member
The Dark Side to Parenting - First Time Moms
yourmom5309
member
I want to fill all first time moms on something few people - if any - told you. There is a dark side to parenting. Why more women don?t talk about it is beyond me. I guess many women struggle in silence because they do not want to feel judged or because they think they will be perceived as a bad mother.
During this first year you are going to feel a plethora of emotions, and some of them will be bad. There will be times that you are overwhelmed with guilt and feel like a bad mom because of your feelings. If and when you reach that time, just remind yourself that you are not alone and it is totally natural.
You will miss the period of time when it was just you and DH.
You will miss the days when you didn?t spend the afternoon with your baby screaming in your ear.
You will miss the ability to go anywhere and do anything without having to make plans re: packing a bottle or diaper bag, hiring a sitter, not going anywhere with smoke, and not going anywhere when baby needs to be sleeping at home.
You will miss the days of not being anxious and overwhelmed.
You will miss your freedom.
These feelings do not make you a bad mom. They make you human. You do not love your baby any less. They say we die a million deaths...these are just a few of them. So don?t beat yourself up if you are not ecstatic being a mom every minute of every day. Take comfort in the fact that almost every parent feels like that at some point in their life. You will make it through just fine.
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Re: The Dark Side to Parenting - First Time Moms
I really struggled with mommy guilt in the first few weeks. I'm sure there is more to come, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
I'm a little ashamed to admit that her giving something back has made everything a little easier. Having her recognize me and smile at me when I come home from work makes it all a little more rewarding and gives me something to focus on during the tough times.
Thank you for posting this. I know this, but it still helps to read.
...it's been a long week.
*like*
It is so hard to be a parent. I have to say that part of it is much easier this time. It doesn't ever get easier either, it just gets, different.
Good post Robs.
I could not agree more. I am convinced that it is harder to be a parent than it is to be an attorney. My daughters are well worth the struggle and effort, but it is hard nonetheless.
Me too, definitely. Thanks robs!
Very true!
The first 6 weeks was awful. We were/are dealing with colic (she still fusses but not screaming her head off for hours on end anymore), and there were times where I thought, "what did we get ourselves into?" Like a PP said, we wanted this SO bad. This was no accident, but I had days where I was telling DH, "I don't know if I can do this... I can't do this!"
Every day I had to remind myself that it gets better. If I can make it through these first three months it'll all be better. After she hit about 6 weeks, it has improved A LOT! She's still a bit fussy, but she's also smiling a bunch now, and cooing and starting to do all the cute baby things. I know it only gets even more better from here.
Ah I so needed this!!! Thank you!
this is so true..i was just telling the dh this the other night...im hoping when spring comes it gets better..due to i stare at the same 4 walls everyday bc of the snow...thanks for the post!!
I give you a lot of credit. My DH is in the military but fortunately doesn't have to go away. I don't know what I'd do if he had to go on deployment with the baby this young. Best of luck to you!
Great post.
Thank you.
Amen! My child cries from about 4pm-9pm every day unless we walk, jiggle, walk, jiggle, all.night.long. She rarely lets me put her down at all during the day. And she wakes up every 45 minutes-1.5 hours most nights, has JUST started sleeping for 3, 4, or (twice) 5 hours once a night. I'm exhausted, I hate hearing her cry but never know what's wrong, I have major cabin fever but she hates the car seat and if she gets overtired the next 24 hours are a mess so it's rarely worth it to leave the couch...
Definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. I love her and I hate wishing away a single minute, but DH and I often say, "It HAS to get easier/better, right?"
Plus, the thought of heading back to work and trying to function on no sleep and balance my time is STRESSING ME OUT! I'm scared she will scream all day or wail when she's put down to nap ad I will feel awful for her babysitter and AWFUL for her so I feel like I NEED to teach her how to nap;... Ugh. Hard.
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3