Fuucking Hope

Serendipitie · February 2011

Is it hope? Or belief in Murphy's Law?

I haven't yet started spotting this cycle. FP is due Sunday. That's still three days, a lot can happen. I could walk to the bathroom now and see the telltale spotting. But, if this was going to happen, now would be the time right? I don't have any tests in the house, and will probably wait until Monday to buy one, if I mike it that long. Since H just signed up for $240 a month in additional insurance to get us IVF coverage, and he has been taking his vitamins for almost three months, this is when it would happen, if it were to happen.

Although typing this out probably just jinxed it and I will still be heading into treatment next month.

I hate this stupid rollercoaster. And when my stupid period does start, I'm going to throw a fit and say it's like a family member just died. ::snicker::

Jenny829 · February 2011

((HUGS)) Dip. I'm sorry hon. This roller coaster does suck a big one. I will certainly keep my fingers crossed that you get a Hail Mary miracle. But if not, you have your upcoming cycle to focus on. Its hard not to hope, it really is. You are only human. I remember hoping for a miracle myself before my IVF, even though I knew it was virtually impossible. You can't control your heart.

Serendipitie · February 2011

Thanks

I'm actually going to be fine if this cycle isn't the hail Mary miracle, because I do have an IVF coming up shortly afterwards. Though it would be my luck to pay an extra $240 a month for insurance for the next year (or until H finds a different job) that is no longer needed. Hahahaha

JenniferL923 · February 2011

Jenny829:
((HUGS)) Dip. I'm sorry hon. This roller coaster does suck a big one. I will certainly keep my fingers crossed that you get a Hail Mary miracle. But if not, you have your upcoming cycle to focus on. Its hard not to hope, it really is. You are only human.

{{Hugs}} And the extra $240 will be a drop in the hat. Oh well, if that's what it cost, hey. Wink I wish nothing but the best for you and that everything works out, regardless of how!

Serendipitie · February 2011

Meh. I think I see the slightest bit of spotting now.

Is it bad that part of me is happy the insurance isn't going to waste? What a mind fuuck. I have no idea how I can be happier for an IVF than a pregnancy occurring from sex, but in a weird way, I am. Probably because I have no idea what a sex induced pregnancy would feel like. LOL

Stacy092306 · February 2011

Boo to spotting! I will be sending lots of good thoughts your way for your IVF cycle.

Serendipitie · February 2011

Stacy-09/23/06:
Boo to spotting! I will be sending lots of good thoughts your way for your IVF cycle.

Right back atcha!

Stacy092306 · February 2011

Serendipitie:
Stacy-09/23/06:
Boo to spotting! I will be sending lots of good thoughts your way for your IVF cycle.
Right back atcha!

Dip, do you have an estimated start date for your cycle yet? I am thinking mine will be in April since I have to do the operative hysteroscopy procedure in the next couple weeks.

pmarie33 · February 2011

booo

I hate limbo.

Serendipitie · February 2011

Stacy - I don't really have a date as we will start with my CD1, no suppression prior to starting my cycle since I'm not a great responder. Since coverage doesn't start until March 1 and FP is due Sunday, I will need to wait one more cycle. Which is probably good timing overall since I do know there is some minor qualification involved (age, how long trying, diagnosis, etc.) and I also want to apply for gap exceptions for the OON providers. Plus I need to get my drugs too! if my LP is normal length this cycle, and my next cycle is textbook 28 days, my cycle should start March 27th.

Fuucking Hope

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