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Breastfeeding
kmawb
member
~~~~Low Supply Check-In~~~~
kmawb
member
This is a weekly check in where ladies who are dealing with a low supply of breastmilk can share their successes and get support for their challenges and difficult days.
Here's a link to a great post by JenniferJaneC from last year rating all the supply boosters she tried. You can also make lactation cookies or lactation banana bread. The cookies are really good and hey it means you get to eat cookies guilt free!!
Question of the Week: Has having low supply affected your self-image or view of yourself as mother?
kmawb (for Ainsleigh, DOB 17-Oct-2010)
clayswife (for Cora, DOB 23-Oct-2010)
bluemoonbaby (for DD)
jigglyjelloo (for Emma)
monkiem (for Alec, DOB 30-Sept-2010)
keribjohnson (for DS)
calico39 (for DD)
nycnola (for Eva, DOB 7-Dec-2010)
rregneir (for Shaylen, DOB 11-Oct-2010)
Mrs.B6302007 (for DD)
AShoes10 (for DD)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ~~~~Low Supply Check-In~~~~
Question of the Week: Has having low supply affected your self-image or view of yourself as mother?
I have to confess that having low supply has made me feel like an inadequate mother at times. These feeling most often rear their ugly head when DD is hungry and crying/fussing for food and I'm waiting for the damn bottle of EBM/formula to heat up (I hate the looks I get from people when we're out in public and she's crying while I'm waiting for the bottle to heat) or when I'm at home pumping and she's wanting to be held and all I can do is sit beside her talking to her/consoling her/apologizing to her (which usually sounds like "Mommy's sorry sweetheart but she can't hold you right now, I know you want to cuddle and she wishes she could but she has to pump to get you a little bit of food for the next feeding" usually followed by silently cursing my bewbs) with my hand on her tummy or holding her hand. I know it's irrational to feel this way but I can't help it when I look at her to know that I'm unable to do one of the basic things I think I should be able to do as a mother for my daughter: feed her. I know I'm still able to provide her with 1/3 of her daily food intake with my EBM, but I wish that I could just provide all her food without having to use a pump, formula, bottles, etc. I can't help but feel like my body is betraying both of us and I sometimes even regret having my breast reduction surgery 10 years ago because then maybe I wouldn't be going through this now.
But then I come to my senses and look at her and know she's growing just fine (even though she's a little peanut, 30th percentile for height and weight, which is to be expected, I'm only 4'10" and DH is 5'9"), she's a really happy baby and is soooo loved, and I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I love being her mother because it melts my heart every time she smiles at me, curls her little fingers around one of mine or just looks at me (I can't wait until she giggles!).
Sorry for the rambling run-on sentences ladies (if I don't type this quickly in free train-of-thought style I'll chicken out).
Please no flaming any responses to this QOTW, I'm just hoping to give everyone a chance to honestly open up and share how we feel and give each other support.
I'm not a reg in the check in threads - think I've posted 2 or 3x.
At times I felt guilty (BFAR) because it's my "fault" that I have low supply. But, overall, I feel that my low supply issues have actually improved my image of myself as a mom because of the lengths I've been going to to keep my supply because it's what's best for her. When I hit my 6 month goal, that was my turning point to turn the negative feelings into positive ones whenever they crept up. For awhile, I didn't think I'd make it to 6 months; now we're pushing for a year!
ETA: Live Laugh Love Lactate page in my blog shares a bit of my BFAR journey
The Bee Hive Blog
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
25 Weeks - GOAL MET 52.2 Pounds gone! 27 Weeks Total Pounds Lost: 54.0
no flames here! Because I'm about to make a confession.....there have been a couple of instances where I have been a bit conceited in my thoughts when I've heard of a couple of women I know IRL quitting BF w/in a couple of weeks of giving birth. They said "It hurt" or "It's too much work". Really? Try having to supplement AND BF. Talk about work. And try BF when you have a broken capillary and you see 3oz of your own blood and wonder what the heck's wrong? It makes me feel good that I have kept going when between them and me, I had the most "reason" to throw in the towel.
I'll get off my high horse now. ;-)
The Bee Hive Blog
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
25 Weeks - GOAL MET 52.2 Pounds gone! 27 Weeks Total Pounds Lost: 54.0
Welcome Mrs. B and I must say: Wow! Congrats on making it so long BFing, you're awesome! And I must say that your view of your low supply is so encouraging and I'll try to think that way instead from now on and no more negative view on this whole situation.
I'm counting down the days until I reach the 6 month mark and after that I'll be reevaluating the situation and deciding what I want to do. My prescription for Domperidone will run out a few days after she turns 6 months old so I'm not sure what my supply will do after that - ultimately the decision may not be up to me at that point if my supply dries up without the drugs (but I know I don't want to be taking prescription drugs for longer than the 6 months I will have been taking them by then - it can't be good for my body).
Thanks for the link to your blog, it's always helpful to read about someone's journey and to know that it can be done. And, Yikes, I haven't experienced pumping that much blood, that would be terrifying! I've only had a few drops on a couple of occasions (made my pumped milk look like weak strawberry milk!). What does the vinegar rinse do for your nipples/help with?
Question of the Week: Has having low supply affected your self-image or view of yourself as mother?
?
Oh wow. That is a loaded question. And the answer for me is, yes. It did hurt my self image in ?those early days. We had troubles very early and had to supplement because of weight loss and I'm sure the supplementing hurt my supply even more.?
I think I teetered on the verge of PPD over my supply issues. I felt like my body was failing her, like I was failing her. I felt inadequate. All, untrue I know. I knew intellectually that BM does not make you a better ?mother, but my emotions were feeling differently at the time.?
Now, fast forward 10 months later. I estimate my daughter has gotten 85 percent of her milk from breast milk in her lifetime. I can honestly say I am damn proud of how hard we ?have worked?(me, baby and husband included)?and I think it is helping my self image. Sure, I am still jealous of women on this board who produce like cows ?-- and I use the word cow with great envy But I know I have done everything I possibly can, and that makes me proud.?
Initially, I thought the pain I was having was from thrush and I had (still have) a "split" down my nipple so my LC suggested I use the vinegar as a natural disinfectant. Turns out, no thrush but some nipple damage from the capillary and some lazy latching. ;-)
The Bee Hive Blog
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
25 Weeks - GOAL MET 52.2 Pounds gone! 27 Weeks Total Pounds Lost: 54.0
Question of the Week: Has having low supply affected your self-image or view of yourself as mother?
At first it did. I was quite upset and I felt like I was unable to provide everything that she needed. It does still bother me now and then, but I have adopted another outlook. I know that she has no issues taking a bottle, taking formula and we have a formula that works well for her. If something were to happen that I could no longer breastfeed, she would have no problems transitioning to a bottle and formula. I try to use that as a positive when I start feeling down.
She is getting 95% BM (some days I get lucky and don't have to suppliment at all) so she is getting all the benefits from it. And sometimes when my supply is low and she is hungry and getting fussy on the breast, giving her that bit of formula to satisfy can be a lot easier. And I feel better that she is not struggling to get something to eat.
The Bee Hive Blog
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
25 Weeks - GOAL MET 52.2 Pounds gone! 27 Weeks Total Pounds Lost: 54.0
Hello- I've never posted on this board before, but I have recently been reading posts to get some ideas/help with my supply issues.
Currently, I am only able to pump about 5 ounces a day and it still breaks my heart. My supply issues greatly affected my view of myself as a mother to the point where I would cry every time I had to make a bottle of formula. As a result, I quit trying to bf/pump about 2 weeks ago, thinking that I would feel better about myself if I wasn't constantly reminded of my supply issues by pumping and getting nothing. However, after 4 days I found I felt worse about quitting and am now trying to get my previous low supply back to where it was (about 10 oz a day).
I feel better and more positive knowing I am doing everything I can to get my daughter even a little bit of bm. I try not to get too down on myself for what I can't do and focus on what I am doing now.
Question of the Week: Has having low supply affected your self-image or view of yourself as mother?
It hasn't this time at all. With DS, I used to have huge mood swings and I felt inadequate, but this time, I've learned that 'it is what it is' and I can only do so much. I've gotten over the guilt (I'm BFAR as well) with my first child as well.
I can only produce so much milk, and I'm doing what I can to give my daughter the best possible start. What she eats is not the only thing that matters- she is loved unconditionally