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Hawaii Babies
jaysgirljulie
member
Dog/baby advice needed
jaysgirljulie
member
I've had this dog Levi for the past six years. We got him from the pound and he is and always has been so dedicated to me. I love him even though he's always been super needy and won't get out of my/your face. He can never just sit by you and relax, he HAS to be in your face. It's like he can't get close enough to me (or whoever is around) and just can't get enough attention. I love him and have just delt with his really insecure behavior.
We thought he was very submissive but when we went to the pound for another dog to keep him company three years ago, they made us bring him in to make sure the dogs would get along. Well it was a GREAT thing that they made us do that because although he is super submissive to us, he's very dominant to other dogs, even much bigger ones. The little dog we got is totally dominated by Levi.
Now that Ryan is here, we've had a hard time finding time to give them as much attention as we used to. I feel bad but we can only stretch ourselves so thin.
My problem is that I am convinced that Levi resents Ryan, or he just wants to bully & dominate him. I am terrifired that he is going to attack Ryan one day. I do my best to keep them apart. While Ryan is sleeping they are inside, while Ryan is awake they are outside (they LOVE our new backyard). DH says Levi is fine with him but I don't agree. I know Levi better than anyone and I don't trust him for one second around him.
I would feel terrible getting rid of Levi. I honestly think he would die of heartbreak. I would feel terrible too if he bit Ryan. What should I do, keep keeping them apart? Get rid of Levi? Do you have any advice on how help Levi get along with Ryan? BTW- of course Ryan LOVES Levi, he doesn't even EVER look at the other dog who gets along with him okay.
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Re: Dog/baby advice needed
Hmmm...tough situation. Has Levi done anything aggressive (like growl/snarl/bark angrily) at R?
If not, and you just don't trust him around R, then I might wait it out a bit to see if things will change. Of course, no one wouldn't want to wait until a dog actually bites a kid so it's good that you're keeping an eye out for potential warning signs. Has Levi ever gotten into an altercation with another dog? Does he show warnings when he's hostile towards something/one? If you think you can spot them when/if he might start showing them towards R, then at least you will have a better idea as to how you deal with the situation?
FWIW, we don't trust our two dogs with B. We keep them apart for the most part. Sometimes they interact, but we're holding B at all times. They actually LOVE B and can't wait to play with him but that's also the problem in our case. They're large, strong, and excitable (young--only ~2 yrs old) and they've accidentally knocked people over (they think it's fun/playing b/c they do it to each other all the time). So for that reason, we don't trust the dogs with B (now--it will change as B gets bigger so he's not so tiny compared to the dogs =P) and keeping them apart for now has worked out for us.
Another issue is that dogs need to learn/accept that humans are always dominant over them and there's never a reason to believe that the baby is just another regular member of the pack, but instead, one of the pack leaders and definitely above them in the pecking order. Do you always feed R before feeding the dogs, let R walk ahead of them (in our case, I push B in the stroller ahead of the dogs), let R have complete access/first dibs on Levi's toys/belongings, etc? I think stuff like that helps keep the dogs' dominance in check.
I'm really sorry you're in this situation. I know it's hard to feel like you have to choose between your pet and R's safety. I hope it all works out so you can keep Levi and he can learn to love and respect R.
totally agree w/this. if he has never shown any signs of aggression towards him then I would just wait and see. and continue to be cautious. at this point it's too early to really know how they'll really be together. i think it's good to be cautious w/babies and pets, even if the pet is not super dominant - you just never know what they will do when they feel threatened (which is easy if the baby is hitting them or pulling on the tail!)
I think it's possible to teach Ryan to respect dogs and treat them properly i.e. no tail pulling but not until he is older. you'll have to wait it out, I think. and if they love the yard then there is no harm in continuing to do what you are doing. of course you don't want him to bite Ryan but if you are watchful and cautious like you are, hopefully that won't happen. I do believe that if he does bite him, then that is reason enough to give him up
it's just not worth the risk at that point.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
When Levi is upset, he gets a mohawk down the middle of his back. With Ryan, he's never got a full on mohawk but some hair stands up on his hip. Not sure if it's because he doesn't like Ryan and he knows he needs to behave? or maybe he just gets the chills from Ryan touching him (Ryan touches him nicely)? In either case,I think he gets a bad look in his eyes when it comes to Ryan.
Yesterday Ryan was inside and came up to the glass door where Levi was on the outside and Levi snapped at the glass, but he's never done it when he's actually near Ryan.
He's always been nice to people and even the few small children we've had around him. He's never been by babies though and he's never had anyone take most of my attention either. He will bully and fight ANY dog he feels needs to be submissive to him, including pit bulls, rots, and for some reason, he seems to hate golden retreivers. There have only been a few but it's been bad enough where we don't go to the bark park anymore (even before we had Ryan).
Thanks for the advice about not letting the dogs walk in front. I didn't know they would think they are in charge if they are in front but now that I think of it, that's maybe why they are such a pain when we go walking.
Our lab didn't really like Elyse until she was about 9 months. He layed on his bed and pouted for the first 3 weeks of her life, then he wouldn't even look at her for months. He was so jealous of her. Once we were all snuggling on the couch and he growled at her because I had her too close to him. I smacked his bum and put him outside immediatly (sorry if I offend people who don't believe in smacking, we don't hit our dog as a rule, but I needed to stop that behaviour immediately!)
But he's gotten so much better in the last few months, particularily since Elyse has started crawling and walking. He definately sees her as a human now. She LOVES him and is always trying to hug him, and play with his toys. We help her play tug with his toys and they both have tons of fun.
Two things I conciously did to make their relationship better were:
- I pretended not to notice when she fed him from the highchair. My dog is HIGHLY food motivated and I wanted him to have ANY kind of positive interaction with her. The reason I pretended not to see was so that I could end that interaction later. Now he's not allowed in the kitchen when we're eating.
- I went on lots of walks/runs with the stroller and the dog in the summer. Elyse always pulls the leash off the hook tries to drape it over our dog now.
So I guess what I'm saying is it could get better? It's a big adjustment for a dog who previously had all your love and attention. Specially for your dog who sounds like he is really needy.
I COMPLETELY understand about being stretched too thin! It's been SO cold here our poor dog hasn't been out for a walk in about three weeks. We feel terribly guilty. Sometimes when I'm snuggling our dog I tell him that soon enough Elyse is going to be his best friend and to just hang in there. (Yes I talk to my dog!!)
Good luck!!
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