So I need to unload, and I'm doing it here...

Kristin Johnson · February 2011

The last month has been hell. 3 weeks ago my grandpa was admitted into the hospital for pneumonia. This normally wouldn't cause much of a concern, but he has one lung so it hits him harder than other people his age. When doing the chest xray, the doctor found some spots on his lung and liver. They didn't think it was much of anything, but did a biopsy and were told it would be a couple of weeks before the results.

Last Monday, my brother convinced himself that he has HPV and gave it to his fiance. He also convinced himself that she now had cervical cancer and was going to die. He told a friend that he was going to kill himself, so the friend convinced him to admit himself into the hospital. Instead of him calling my parents, he calls me AND tells me not to tell my parents. Of course I told them because I can't not tell them. That night was the longest night ever. My brother seems to be doing better. THe doctor talked to him about everything, and he is getting help. AND he doesn't have HPV. (This is what happens when people try to diagnose themselves.)

So this afternoon my dad calls with the results from my grandpa's biopsy. He has liver cancer, and they think that the spots on his lung are also malignant. Because he is 79 and only has one lung, there isn't anything they can do. I feel completely torn into a million pieces. I just want a time-out just to breathe. Anytime I show any emotions, DH goes on and on how it's not good for the baby. Then he calls my parents and they go on and on about how it's not good for the baby. It's like I'm not supposed to be upset or feel anything. So I feel all kinds of emotions that are perfectly normal for a nonpreggo person, but I have no where to get it off my chest.

If you have made it this far thanks!

thebeaverismyfriend · February 2011

I usually lurk, but I wanted to add my apologies for all you are going through right now. I sincerely hope things start to look up for you, and that your unloading helped you feel better. Unload all you need to!

Mish2g · February 2011

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. You have every right to feel what you're feeling. Just because everyone doesn't want you to be upset because of the baby, doesn't mean the baby can't feel it. I mean, just because you don't emote physically, doesn't mean you aren't feeling it internally. So, cry or don't, but the baby is still feeling your sadness. Does that make sense? You're pregnant going through a really stressful time -- crying, yelling, punching...whatever -- will lessen the stress for you, which will in turn be much much better for the baby than you holding it in!! Let it out!

SparkFish · February 2011

Sorry, sounds like a really tough time for you

No matter what your DH and parents say, I think it's healthier for you and the baby to get your emotions out, rather than hold them in. If they won't talk to you about things, find a friend or another family member who will.

Karen1998 · February 2011

I'm so sorry. You're going through a lot right now and it would all be hard to deal with if you were not pregnant, so I'd imagine it's even harder pregnant. ((((hugs))))

bhw5660 · February 2011

Praying for you and yours. Despite all the craziness going on, it sounds like you have a supportive family even though they aren't giving you what you need right now. Even without all that is going on, you are going to feel emotional so they need to get over it. Is there anything that could help you relax so you can cherish the time that you have with your family?

minibride2be · February 2011

As of this weekend I can say I can truly understand what you're going through. Something huge and nightmarish happened and I've been told to not have any feelings about it because it's not good for me to be stressed. I've been told just to let it go because it's not good for the baby, emotions are normal and inevitable. Vent all you need to be upset, cry, scream and work through your feelings. Doing that and dealing with them will make life easier and baby and mommy will be much better in the long run! hugs and sympathy

Mrs_M · February 2011

This is what posting is for, venting! I feel you! January was our month of dog sh*t. My brother tried to commit suicide and is nuts. I have no contact with him really. Then my MIL who's been suffering from oral cancer lost her life on the 21st. It was just horrible to see her go, however the relief came shortly after (in the events that followed). EVERYONE was so worried cause I am pregnant, not good for the baby is all I heard. Non-stop. I said, listen I need to cry and get those emotions out, baby will be okay. Baby is fine BTW.

You have to let the emotions out because if you hold them in it will only get worse. Baby will be fine!

Hang in there in this difficult time, it sucks (to say the least).

Hillargh · February 2011

Firstly, I am so very sorry for all of this coming down on you at once. Know you're in my thoughts, and if you need anything feel free to PM away!

Secondly, express your emotions. The fact is, whether you show them or not, they're still there. You're still stressed, you still want to cry but you're just not doing it. You're just as upset, whether you express it or not, so showing it isn't going to suddenly make the baby cover his/her ears and scream. It's so much more healthy to get it out sometimes, and have a minute of relief from the bottled-up pain, than it is to just let it swell.

Lastly, as hard as it sounds, try to find a minute for you. Use it to cry, to laugh, to punch a pillow, read a book, whatever you need. Go to the park and get on a swing if you can't find anywhere else. But honey.. You need to breathe for a minute.

I sincerely hope things get better for you

NeverEnoughTime · February 2011

Sending T&P for your grandpa

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