When do you pick up a crying LO?

pomrom · February 2011

Xander is a month old. He barely made a peep for the first few weeks. He barely even cried when he was hungry. He would just suck on his fingers and root but never really got ticked off. He was 5 weeks early and the nurses said that when he is technically 37/38 weeks, he will start to be more vocal when he needs something.

We are at that point the last few days. How long do you let your LO fuss before you pick them up? I know he isn't really hungry. He cries for literally a minute and then he is quiet for five minutes. The he does it again. Never for a long peroid of time. After the second or third time of him fussing, I pick him up and check his diaper, try to burp him and usually it is just that he wants to be held for a bit.

I don't want to run too soon at every whimper but I think he is too little to get so ticked off.

Doodle2011 · February 2011

I pick her up right away, even if it seems like just a fussy/cranky moment that may pass. I'll experiment with crying it out when she's older- at least 4 months, would prefer to wait til 6 based on what I've read and heard.

jess1984 · February 2011

when they are that little as soon as i can. they arent able to manipulte so i figure they want something even if its just cuddles, but this is my last child so maybe i'm just going to try to hold her s much as possible lol.

jenna3016 · February 2011

At that age, I picked him up all the time.

Now that he's older, if he fusses while sleeping - I leave him alone until he progresses to an actual cry. Sometimes he will toot in his sleep, wake himself up & fuss a little, and then doze back off. If he's crying I pick him up.

From birth, my guy would cry & scream (at times) when hungry. He acts like he's never going to eat again.

alli&pat · February 2011

I pick DD up immediately. A baby this age is too young to manipulate. Often times, it's simply that she wants to be cuddled with Mommy, but so what? Sometimes that's what is needed.

rach0528 · February 2011

She might fuss for a minute or two then I will pick her up. If she is full out crying I pick her up right away even if it is just to be held. I agree with previous posters, if they are crying they need something even if it just being held. Babies this young need to learn that you are there to nuture them and provide for their needs. They cry and you respond to that cry which helps them with their emotional and social development.

mishu917 · February 2011

I pick her up right away, I never let her cry. She hasn't become a hand baby either even though we picked her up immediately when she cried as a newborn. We really feel that she gained a lot of trust in us and is now a little more independent. We can put her down while awake and she will just fall asleep without crying. I'd continue to pick him up and hold him for a while, even letting him sleep on me if he wants to. JMO

HTH

lindseybell3 · February 2011

1 ht

what is a hand baby?

mrsseguin · February 2011

You'll get to 'know' and all their little sounds. DD is noisy..all the time. During the day, I know when she's hungry and I don't let her fuss long. At night, I let her fuss. She will put herself back to sleep. I wait until she is awake and crying to go get her...otherwise when she's eating, she'll fall back asleep and it will take over an hour for her to eat. I think it's good to let them be for a few minutes.

mishu917 · February 2011

lindseybell3:
1 ht

what is a hand baby?

Baby that likes to be held all.the.time.

lulu3061 · February 2011

We try not to let him cry, if he does we pick him up right away. You can't spoil him this early, if he wants to be held, hold him.

pixieprincss · February 2011

If I am driving and I can see in the mirror that he is not in danger, I give it a few minutes before pulling over. If I am peeing and he cries, there is nothing I can do. But, other than that I go to him ASAP. If I hear him fuss, I try to abate the situation and sooth him before the cry starts. LO only has one way to communicate and I want him to know that I take his communication seriously. I met his needs perfectly inside and now he is in a big, imperfect world where he gets hungry, cold, scared, dirty diapered, or just plain needs snuggles. His cries communicate all of those things. Plus, his wants and needs are the same at this point (and for many months to come), so there is no question of manipulation.

dNoodle · February 2011

Immediately. I believe that when they are little, there are no such things as "wants," only needs. Especially in the case of a preemie.

TheDreamingTree · February 2011

everytime she cries, right away. The only time I let her fuss for maybe 30 seconds-1 minute is during the night, and that is because she always stops by then.

I just cannot let my LO cry, and even when I know she is not hungry, wet, or tired, I like to comfort her while she cries. She is too young to cry alone for longer than that, at least in my opinion.

ilovemygirls · February 2011

It is normal for them to "wake up" after a few weeks. But he is tiny! If he needs to be held- hold him. You are not going to spoil him by picking him up at this age. Now, sometimes they're going to have to fuss/cry if you're busy doing something else (ie. showering) - it's certainly not going to hurt him to be upset for 10 minutes if you happen to be busy. However, don't avoid picking him up because you don't want to create 'habits'. Every LO is different- some do need to be held more than others and it helps bonding with them when they know you are there for them when they need you. btw, he doesn't have to fuss because he needs something tangible (like milk/diaper), it is his only way of communicating so if he just wants mama, that's what he's going to do.

Lucky_Dragonfly · February 2011

Sometimes I pick her up right away if I know that it is her feeding time. She will fuss a little when she is trying to poo, but I can tell when she is trying to go. Technically right now you can't relaly hold them too much because the are still trying to make the connection that when they need something that you will be there for them. Once they hit about 3-4mos then you can start to let them go longer so they start to learn to sooth themselves.

IncogNeato · February 2011

If she squirms, grunts, or "yells" (just lets out one holler which she does to get my attention, I think) I'll talk to her, make faces at her, etc, if I'm trying to do something else. If she cries I pick her up. I want her to know that if she's upset, I'm there and it's safe. Your LO is about 1 week old adjusted? It will be a while before LO really understands why he cries and how his actions cause reactions. At around 6 weeks adjusted my LO started to seem more aware of this and I didn't feel as bad if it took me a minute or two to get to her. Before that, I scrambled to get there ASAP.Honestly, the fact that your LO lets you put him down at all is a blessing! Many LO's insist upon being held constantly for the first few months.

If he wants to be held, hold him. In a few months you can start to worry about forming habits but for now it's most important that he knows someone is there.

I will say, (sorry!) that your LO being early may mean a rough ride for a little longer. Babies fussiness/sleeplessness peaks at around "46 weeks gestation" so it will hit your LO around 11/12 weeks. Mine hit us around 9 weeks (6 weeks adjusted) and it was a doozy because I already had 9 weeks of exhaustion saved up.

kimberly_ann81 · February 2011

I generally check on my LO when he fusses and look at his face. When he is just making noises/fussing his face is pretty calm looking. If he is working into a cry and needs something his little face gets scrunched around his eyes and forehead. This usually determines how soon I pick him up. If he is fussing with a calm face I stand by and wait a minute before picking him up. Most of the time he calms back down after a couple seconds and continues to sleep. If he has the scrunchy, I need something face I usually pick him up right away. At the most he will fussy/cry for a minute or two but I am always there right next to him while he fusses.

My sling is great for when he wants to be held and I need to do things. I recommend using a sling.

yourmom5309 · February 2011

jenna3016:

At that age, I picked him up all the time.

Now that he's older, if he fusses while sleeping - I leave him alone until he progresses to an actual cry. Sometimes he will toot in his sleep, wake himself up & fuss a little, and then doze back off. If he's crying I pick him up.

From birth, my guy would cry & scream (at times) when hungry. He acts like he's never going to eat again.

This.

bethandjoe09 · February 2011

jess1984:
when they are that little as soon as i can. they arent able to manipulte so i figure they want something even if its just cuddles

This. I figure emotional needs are just as important as being hungry or wet or dirty. Besides, I like snuggling him (even when I'm exhausted and frustrated).

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