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Clicky: Would you ever grant your SO a 'hall pass'?

shoeboxxshoeboxx member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I saw the previews for this movie yesterday.  A married man is granted the opportunity to have an affair by his wife.  Sound different to me, but I know every couple is different.[Poll]
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Re: Clicky: Would you ever grant your SO a 'hall pass'?

  • simplejudesimplejude

    Only if I get one too ;)

    ETA: that was a joke. I would not give him a hall pass, it would just cause issues. I'm way too jealous for all that.  

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  • BritClenBritClen member
    so funny you brought this up Dh and I were talking about this last night...we both agreed it would do nothing but cause problems in the marriage 
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  • JingleBeIIeJingleBeIIe
    We have already. I would argue that it's strengthened our relationship. We already know we are each other's true mate, but it is nice to flirt and get the out of the same sex rut. Before there was a lot of times were I had sex with him because it's been a while (over a week), but now there's no pressure. We have sex when we want it, which comes out to about the same since feeling more desired = wanting sex more. It won't work in all relationships, but DH and I are happy with it in ours and are still madly in love with each other.
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  • shoeboxxshoeboxx member

    imageJingleBeIIe:
    We have already. I would argue that it's strengthened our relationship. We already know we are each other's true mate, but it is nice to flirt and get the out of the same sex rut. Before there was a lot of times were I had sex with him because it's been a while (over a week), but now there's no pressure. We have sex when we want it, which comes out to about the same since feeling more desired = wanting sex more. It won't work in all relationships, but DH and I are happy with it in ours and are still madly in love with each other.

    I'm confused...so you all have sex with other people from time to time? 

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  • JingleBeIIeJingleBeIIe
    imageshoeboxx:

    imageJingleBeIIe:
    We have already. I would argue that it's strengthened our relationship. We already know we are each other's true mate, but it is nice to flirt and get the out of the same sex rut. Before there was a lot of times were I had sex with him because it's been a while (over a week), but now there's no pressure. We have sex when we want it, which comes out to about the same since feeling more desired = wanting sex more. It won't work in all relationships, but DH and I are happy with it in ours and are still madly in love with each other.

    I'm confused...so you all have sex with other people from time to time? 

    We both have a GF/BF on the side. 

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  • simplejudesimplejude

    JB, Im genuinely curious, if you feel comfortable sharing...

    What if your BF breaks up with you? Would you still be okay with DH having a GF and you being sort of 'single on the side'? Or do you think you might be jealous in that circumstance? 

    Also, are there rules? Like is it just sex with this other person or is there relationships? Do you guys do things together like dating, or just sex?

     

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  • AutumnBride929AutumnBride929
    I would have to approve of the woman and be able to join if I wanted. Wink
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  • shoeboxxshoeboxx member
    imageJingleBeIIe:
    imageshoeboxx:

    imageJingleBeIIe:
    We have already. I would argue that it's strengthened our relationship. We already know we are each other's true mate, but it is nice to flirt and get the out of the same sex rut. Before there was a lot of times were I had sex with him because it's been a while (over a week), but now there's no pressure. We have sex when we want it, which comes out to about the same since feeling more desired = wanting sex more. It won't work in all relationships, but DH and I are happy with it in ours and are still madly in love with each other.

    I'm confused...so you all have sex with other people from time to time? 

    We both have a GF/BF on the side. 

    Interesting...sounds like that works out well for you guys.  Smile

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  • littleshowlittleshow
    No...I know I wouldn't be able to handle this sort of relationship, but I can see how it would work for some couples.
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  • sunnyday016sunnyday016 member
    There is no way that would happen in our marriage. It would not work, and we wouldn't entertain the possibility.
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  • shoeboxxshoeboxx member

    imagelittleshow:
    No...I know I wouldn't be able to handle this sort of relationship, but I can see how it would work for some couples.

    This was my thought.  Every couple does some things different and everyone is not going to agree. 

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  • Shayna0182Shayna0182 member

    Dh has had a thing for Mariah Carey since the mid 90's.  I told him, if he ever gets the chance to have one night with her, then I'll let him.  So far, the opportunity hasn't come up.  Stick out tongue

    As for us,  I think having a hall pass would the end of our relationship.  I'm sure it works for some couples, but it wouldn't in ours.

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  • PoseyMammaPoseyMamma
    No way...I would not go for that at all and I would be so jealous of him being with another women and it would make me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. It would most certainly end our marriage.
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  • JingleBeIIeJingleBeIIe
    imagesimplejude:

    JB, Im genuinely curious, if you feel comfortable sharing...

    What if your BF breaks up with you? Would you still be okay with DH having a GF and you being sort of 'single on the side'? Or do you think you might be jealous in that circumstance? 

    Also, are there rules? Like is it just sex with this other person or is there relationships? Do you guys do things together like dating, or just sex?

     

    Our relationships are seperate from one another, so I one ends, it does not affect the other. We do have rules: 1. our marriage comes first 2. all parties involved must know about the other 3. this ends as soon as someone becomes uncomfortable 4. all parties must use a condom (even us but that's also our BC) 5. relationships will form, but nothing past the casual dating phase. 6. We take a break while TTC/getting ready for baby.

     

    We do "date" the other guy/girl, but it is expected that we're doing it for sex. Why else would we be doing it?

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  • Big JBig J member
    Fvck no. 
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  • rnfromtnrnfromtn member

    Nope.  This would not work out well in our relationship.  In fact, whenever I am out with friends, I am SO thankful that I do not have to deal with the dating scene anymore.  My brother and his wife were in a "polyamorous" relationship and it worked out for them, but yeah, never in my relationship.  Plus, I am kind of one of those territorial types.  :)

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  • shoeboxxshoeboxx member

    imageBig J:
    Fvck no. 

    Hahahaha!

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  • lifesadancelifesadance member
    This would never work in our relationship.  Neither of us us particularly a "jealous type" either but we've been together for 14 years, married for 6.5 years, and we've both never had sex with anyone else.  It's a very old-fashioned, pure relationship and we cherish it.
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  • Baby0322Baby0322 member
    I'm too old fashioned for this! Plus, my father had a affair when I was 15 so I have alot of "daddy issues". It would destroy me.
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  • Baby0322Baby0322 member

    imagelifesadance:
    This would never work in our relationship.  Neither of us us particularly a "jealous type" either but we've been together for 14 years, married for 6.5 years, and we've both never had sex with anyone else.  It's a very old-fashioned, pure relationship and we cherish it.

    It's a very old-fashioned, pure relationship and we cherish it. THIS!

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  • Princess_LilyPrincess_Lily member

    Wouldn't work for us. 

    We already discussed the ramifications of something like that happening, due to another couple making friendly banter to see if we were up to "swap".

    I could understand the whole thing (swingers, swapping, etc.), but once you do something like that, you can't take it back.   We've seen the ramifications of swapping...last I heard it was destroying the relationship, there isn't much trust in the couple anymore...and sadly I think they are together for their children only.


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  • PiRSquared330PiRSquared330 member
    Jingle: will you continue as your son gets older? If so, will you hide it from him or be honest about the arrangement?
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  • Mamma2twins06Mamma2twins06
    DH and I are in an open marriage, so we both have a standing "hall pass" in some ways.  We also have to approve of the others partners though
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  • kristie6406377kristie6406377 member
    How completely WRONG and MESSED UP!!  No wonder why America's going down the tubes....
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  • 1momma1momma member

    imagekristie6406377:
    How completely WRONG and MESSED UP!!  No wonder why America's going down the tubes....

    yah, damnn people for finding out what works for their own marriage, that will never have an affect on your life    

    and those damnn gays. fvck em all.

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  • RedHeadedLeo85RedHeadedLeo85
    imagePoseyMamma:
    No way...I would not go for that at all and I would be so jealous of him being with another women and it would make me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. It would most certainly end our marriage.
    This.
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  • MegGaryMegGary member
    image1momma:

    imagekristie6406377:
    How completely WRONG and MESSED UP!!  No wonder why America's going down the tubes....

    yah, damnn people for finding out what works for their own marriage, that will never have an affect on your life    

    and those damnn gays. fvck em all.

    It's not like trying new things in the bedroom. It's like messing with a relationship & doing something that can't be undone. Do what feels right for you but I couldn't do it. It's not why I chose to be married. If I wanted to continue dating & having casual sex I wouldn't of gotten married. It makes no sense to me to have an open marriage. Especially when you have children involved. I find it almost impossible to have a moment for myself let alone date someone else as well.  

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  • French+75French+75

    imagePiRSquared330:
    Jingle: will you continue as your son gets older? If so, will you hide it from him or be honest about the arrangement?

    I'm really curious about this too. 

    Whatever floats your boat, but I can't even imagine trying to explain that arrangement to my child.

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  • 1momma1momma member
    do you plan on explaining your sex life with your husband to your child.
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  • NeenTheBeanNeenTheBean
    image1momma:
    do you plan on explaining your sex life with your husband to your child.
    Tomorrow at dinner actually :P Aren't you ;)
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  • JingleBeIIeJingleBeIIe

    That's like the closest I got to an "I feel sorry for your children" Stick out tongue

     I don't see how things "can't be undone." If our marriage fails, well then it wasn't meant to last. But we are each other's other half. There's so much more to marriage than sex. If it wasn't true, most people would have remained virgins until their wedding night. To us, there's a difference between love and lust. Honestly though, our marriage was straightened through this whole thing, and I'm glad I'm not the only one here. 

    As far as DS and future LOs knowing, we'd like to keep it quiet. No one knows about our openness so it will defeat the purpose. I don't mind talking to him when he's an adult. My mom and I are very open about our sex life (except for this big thing) and I wouldn't mind having the openness with DS.

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  • Mamma2twins06Mamma2twins06
    imageJingleBeIIe:

    That's like the closest I got to an "I feel sorry for your children" Stick out tongue

     I don't see how things "can't be undone." If our marriage fails, well then it wasn't meant to last. But we are each other's other half. There's so much more to marriage than sex. If it wasn't true, most people would have remained virgins until their wedding night. To us, there's a difference between love and lust. Honestly though, our marriage was straightened through this whole thing, and I'm glad I'm not the only one here. 

    As far as DS and future LOs knowing, we'd like to keep it quiet. No one knows about our openness so it will defeat the purpose. I don't mind talking to him when he's an adult. My mom and I are very open about our sex life (except for this big thing) and I wouldn't mind having the openness with DS.

     

    I applaude you JingleBelle, for finding something that works for you and your DH.  I think that what you are doing proves that your marriage is stronger than most, and that your trust levels are through the roof.  Most marriages couldn't separate love and sex, to most people they are one in the same.  they don't have to be. 

    You need to do what works for you, and p!$$ on everyone else!

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