Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
kathymarie
member
Re: Talk to me about stool softener (sore ass mentioned)
Yup. Colace is my friend. I take 2 a day, which honestly, is enough to sustain a softer poop, not get to a softer poop. It took 3-4 a day to get me there initially. Some take much more, but my doctor didn't want me trying more. That journey also included my new friend orange flavored Metamucil and my evil enemy prunes (they gave me horribly painful gas and nothing escaping, not even poo). Also massively increase your water intake, exercise a bit (walking helps me) and try coffee, unless you're on caffeine restrictions. As always, consult with a doctor prior to changing your regime...
Oh, and I take the generic Colace. It's much cheaper. I also take fish oil (the vegetarian kind). Supposedly it helps to grease the poo on out (like Colace), but I haven't seen a remarkable difference. Also, Charmin Ultra is a great butt saver if you want to try a dry toilet paper.
BFP #1 - 04/09/10 -- m/c - 07/02/10 @ 20weeks and 3 days. D&C 07/02/2010 - EDD 11/16/10
BFP #2 12/17/10 please stick turtle. EDD 8/29/11 - Emergency C-Section 7-2-11. Andrew's journey
Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Carolee on her BFP! Stick, baby!
Congratulations to elbandas09, cherylanddoug, tctibbe(MsPegees) and alliejoe for their take home babies!
Definitely try Colace.
Your post made me laugh with your wording.
I went through this same thing starting last Friday, then again yesterday (my first poo since the prior Friday). Colace, prune juice and a cup of coffee (decaf) has helped.
GL to you and your bungholio!
Damn Bump
Okay - Colace for sure. I take it three times a day, per OB instructions. Also, lots of water, lots of juice. I hate prunes, so I drink grape and that does the trick.
Also, cut back on your fiber a little bit. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but the ER doctor told me that once things start to get hard and backed up, more fiber just hurts the process. Avoid, at all costs, apples and bananas. Dried fruit and again, lots of liquids, are your friends.
If at any point you think you are constipated, call and verify that Miralax is okay. It was my savior.
Signed,
The woman who ended up with an impacted bowel and had to have two enimas and a manual disimpaction and wishes to spare all people from a similar fate.
DD #1 born 9/07 ** DD #2 born 7/11 ** Operation Take Back My Body has begun 10/11
Upcoming Races
Gobble Wobble 5K 11/24/11 - Abington, PA 29:40
Superbowl 10K 02/05/12 - Allentown, PA 54:28 PR!!!!
Broad Street 10 Mile Run 05/06/12 - Philadelphia, PA 1:30:44
Rock and Roll Half Marathon 09/16/12 - Philadelphia, PA
Philadelphia (Half?!?) Marathon 11/18/12 - Philadelphia, PA
Man, do I feel your pain! I had poop so hard that it clinked in the toilet when it hit the bowl, and on XMas eve I had to get out a latex glove to pull out a turd. I hated my life. (DH still thinks it is the funniest thing I've ever done.)
I was honestly a mess until I ended up in the ER, but that was because I was a weenie and didn't want to take too much stool softener. That was a HUGE mistake! My doctor told me to take 3 Colase a day, to try Miralax if I was backed up for days, and to take a tablespoon of Metamucil every day (mixing it with apple juice does wonders for the taste). I've had a hard poop here and there, but I've been constipation free ever since. *knocks on wood* Heck, I've rarely had bad gas anymore either! Good luck!
While I was on Zofran I had this issue...constantly...
I used Dulcolax stool softener (not the lax) and drank lots of water. It helped me get through it until I could go off the Zofran. The Dulcolax I think has the same active ingredients as the Colace, so I guess whatever is on sale!
This has already happened to me even though I'm so early. I just eat several prunes-sometimes as many as 6/day and that softens things right up.
But again I'm earlier than you so that might be why it's not as intense for me. I have never dealt with this before, I didn't have any constipation in my other pregnancy and I never get constipated, it sucks.
I had exactly the same issue.
Surfak is what you need. Don't mess with Colace. Colace actually made my situation worse because it's more of a stimulant than a softener. It actually got, umm, stuck. (blech) Not good.
Surfak is doculate calcium 240mg. The brand is kind of hard to find, but Walgreens makes their own version which works wonders. I took one dose nightly for two days and haven't had a problem since.
I can't sing the praises of this stuff enough. It's also totally safe for pregnant ladies.
bfp 01/23/10 m/c 12w1d 03/14/10 EDD 09/24/10
bfp 07/20/10 m/c 5w1d 07/25/10
bfp 11/19/10 Born 07/24/11 via C/S
My Forever Sister From Another Mister~CashewsMommy!!
Same here. Mine are prescribed from the Dr. (OB Natal One) and they have a stool softener and DHA in them. Ever since I started them around 14 weeks, I have had no poop issues whatsoever.
Karen is very smart!