Breastfeeding......am I a bad mom?

Ajlee904 · February 2011

Ok so my little guy is almost 5 weeks old. I am getting ready to go back to work here next week. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed with breastfeeding. I am so exhausted with it. I know it is the best thing for him, but I am ready to give up. With my work schedule I will have to pump ALOT! I am working 2 jobs, and while im at work he will be at daycare. With daycare I obviously have to provide enough breastmilk for the days hes there. I have been saving up pumped milk, but with as much as he eats I just dont think ill be able to keep up.

I have thought about transitioning to formula, but im just scared. My boyfriend has very strong opinions about breastfeeding, and how its the best. But its not his body. And for those moms who do formula feed im just nervous....what kind do i choose? how do i transition baby onto it? is it true that formula babies get sick more? I am just so nervous about keeping up with pumping and feeding him and going back to work that ive totally freaked myself out about all of it. Any advice?

amp2312 · February 2011

Don't feel stressed, if you're stressed everyone else will be and that makes for a bad time. With my first I tried to BF but couldn't very slow and little milk production plus I had to suppliment because of jaundice. With my 2nd, I didn't even bother trying to BF, just went right to FF. While FF babies do not get antibodies from mom, with my kid's I do not see how one was sicker than the other. If anything my FF baby is "healthier" because he did not have jaundice, KWIM? If you decide not to, don't feel guilty and don't let anyone make you feel less because you choose to stop.

geminibrooke · February 2011

Since he had a birthweight problem and I was exhausted and needed help, we have been doing both since he was born. He has had no problem taking breast milk at some points in the day and formula at others. I figure he still gets the health benefits of breast milk even if it isn't exclusive. We use similac advance for formula, and haven't had problems of being sick, excessive gas or anything. Overall he is a quiet, relaxed, happy healthy baby.

KelleyBelly11 · February 2011

Ajlee04:
Ok so my little guy is almost 5 weeks old. I am getting ready to go back to work here next week. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed with breastfeeding. I am so exhausted with it. I know it is the best thing for him, but I am ready to give up. With my work schedule I will have to pump ALOT! I am working 2 jobs, and while im at work he will be at daycare. With daycare I obviously have to provide enough breastmilk for the days hes there. I have been saving up pumped milk, but with as much as he eats I just dont think ill be able to keep up.
I have thought about transitioning to formula, but im just scared. My boyfriend has very strong opinions about breastfeeding, and how its the best. But its not his body. And for those moms who do formula feed im just nervous....what kind do i choose? how do i transition baby onto it? is it true that formula babies get sick more? I am just so nervous about keeping up with pumping and feeding him and going back to work that ive totally freaked myself out about all of it. Any advice?

You're very correct, it's not HIS body but it is also his child. Think of his strong opinions as him just caring a lot about LO. Try explaining to him your stress about all the pumping needed. Work together on it.

You could pump as much as possible but mix in formula for some of LO feedings. As far as the formula you could ask your pedi for the best advice AND for free samples.

Good luck mama!

Mrs.Honeybear · February 2011

my situation is a little different as i had to supplement with formula from day 1 because i had supply issues and my LO is a big boy with poor latch...that said, i BF for 6 weeks exactly and had major guilt and depression over stopping altogether so i can understand how you feel conflicted. i think it's perfectly normal to feel that way....i am going back to work next week too and the main reason i stopped BFing was because i knew i would never be able to pump and save enough milk to supply him with bottles at daycare. i talked to the pediatrician and to my OBGYN about it and both assured me that, while of course BFing is best, it's not always practical for all moms and that is OK! our LOs have gotten a ton of benefits from us BFing as long as we did and, after beating yself up over quitting, i have finally given myself a break about it....try to assure your boyfriend that any amount of breast milk gives a baby health benefits and great advantages, whether it is for 6 weeks or 2 years....we have to do what is best for us and our family. healthy mom, healthy baby!

as for your other questions, i tried a few different formulas...started with similac inthe hospital, went to enfamil newborn cuz the pedi reccomended it, tht gave LO a tummy ache so i switched to similac sensitive which gave him bad gas...now we are on enfamil gentlease and it is going well. i'm not sure about transitioning because we have been supplementing from the beginning and i have never heard that FF babies get sick more often...

good luck...and take care of YOU

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2011

In terms of transitioning to formula, youll want to go slow. Good start is the quickest to digest like BM is, so that might be a good starting point. Slowly replace one feeding a day with formula, wiat a few days, then drop another feeding until you're completely on formula. It doesnt have to be all or nothing either-you can drop the feedings baby would have while you were at work but continue to nurse in the morning/evening hours.

FF kids arent always sicker-my DS was FF and has never been sick yet, while many of my friends who have BF get sick a lot.

Your BF may think breast milk is best (and he's right), but you also has to do what's best for you as well. Formula is a perfectly healthy substitute. Happy mom=happy baby. If having to work 2 jobs plus keep up with nursing is overwhelming, then do what is best for you.

madhatter2003 · February 2011

Ajlee04:
Ok so my little guy is almost 5 weeks old. I am getting ready to go back to work here next week. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed with breastfeeding. I am so exhausted with it. I know it is the best thing for him, but I am ready to give up. With my work schedule I will have to pump ALOT! I am working 2 jobs, and while im at work he will be at daycare. With daycare I obviously have to provide enough breastmilk for the days hes there. I have been saving up pumped milk, but with as much as he eats I just dont think ill be able to keep up.

I have thought about transitioning to formula, but im just scared. My boyfriend has very strong opinions about breastfeeding, and how its the best. But its not his body. And for those moms who do formula feed im just nervous....what kind do i choose? how do i transition baby onto it? is it true that formula babies get sick more? I am just so nervous about keeping up with pumping and feeding him and going back to work that ive totally freaked myself out about all of it. Any advice?

I'll give the flip answer, you aren't a bad mom but why don't you try pumping at work first before making a decision. You don't have to decide now.

depoyba · February 2011

No you are not a bad mom at all. I had the exact same problem and we are now FF. We transitioned over a few days and that allowed her tummy to get used to it. I use Enfamil and she actually spits up less and is less restless at night compared to when we BF'd. My doctor said that the first few weeks are the most important time to BF and just doing that has major benefits to baby. Be proud that you BF'd as much as you did some LO's don't get any and don't beat yourself up you have to do what makes you happy and that will make baby happy. Also, my hubby was the same way as your boyfriend and he got over it because just like you said it is your body not his just sit and talk to him about that is what I had to do. I hope this helps

luckydogg · February 2011

You may surprise yourself with how much you can pump. I was really worried about being able to pump enough for lo at daycare, but have been able to pump between 8-10 ounces in 10 minutes. Doing this twice a day and pumping off one side in the morning while I feed has been more than enough for him. I would do a trial run and see how it goes before switching to ff.

jolynn326 · February 2011

If you care somewhat strongly about BF and are just overwhelmed, I would recommend the book Nursing Mother, Working Mother. It totally spells out EVERYTHING about pumping, going back to work, finding ways to maintain the breastfeeding relationship even if you have to supplement because of necessity or desire.

Also remember that BF is supply and demand, and while baby is more effective at maintaining supply than a pump is, you may find that your body can adjust well and/or that if you pick up an extra session while you're with your son, you'll be fine.

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

MrsAdorkable · February 2011

The rule is .5-1 oz for every hour you're away.

Just relax, it will make things easier (ik, easier said then done, right?)

cambria7707 · February 2011

I wanted to add that my baby wouldn't take the formula bottle at first and it made my guilt much worse. I ended up mixing pumped breastmilk and formula and transitioning that way. We started with 75% BM and 25% formula, then 50% BM and 50% formula, and so on until is was 100% formula. My son even objected to this a little so we ended up heating the bottles to make the transition easier. He now takes formula room temp. or cold with no problem but heating it during the transition definitely helped. Also, we use Good Start Gentle and haven't had any problems. Keep in mind that it takes a week or two for the baby to adjust so they may be extra gassy, etc. Ask your pedi if you aren't sure what is normal adjustment. Don't beat yourself up...I know it is easier said then done!

sbuxsweetie · February 2011

I recently blogged about switching from BF to FF. You are NOT a bad mother if you decide to make the switch to formula. BFing is great, but it's not for everyone. You need to decide what's best for you and LO, and don't let anyone else tell you what to do. Deciding to BF - or not to - is a very personal decision.

cros8380 · February 2011

madhatter2003:
Ajlee04:
Ok so my little guy is almost 5 weeks old. I am getting ready to go back to work here next week. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed with breastfeeding. I am so exhausted with it. I know it is the best thing for him, but I am ready to give up. With my work schedule I will have to pump ALOT! I am working 2 jobs, and while im at work he will be at daycare. With daycare I obviously have to provide enough breastmilk for the days hes there. I have been saving up pumped milk, but with as much as he eats I just dont think ill be able to keep up.

I have thought about transitioning to formula, but im just scared. My boyfriend has very strong opinions about breastfeeding, and how its the best. But its not his body. And for those moms who do formula feed im just nervous....what kind do i choose? how do i transition baby onto it? is it true that formula babies get sick more? I am just so nervous about keeping up with pumping and feeding him and going back to work that ive totally freaked myself out about all of it. Any advice?

I'll give the flip answer, you aren't a bad mom but why don't you try pumping at work first before making a decision. You don't have to decide now.

I agree with this...try pumping first, that way, if you decide to FF you can do so confidently, and perhaps with less guilt because you'll know you tried! I was so anxious about pumping when I went back to work. I lost sleep over it, and although I've only been back at work for 3 days it's been going better than I ever thought it would. GL!

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