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June 2011 Moms
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Caught off guard regarding a gift- why do I feel bad?

sunshine336sunshine336 member
in June 2011 Moms

My BFF is striking out.  She had hinted at buying me a bassinet (which I personally wasn't planning on getting due to limited space) but then my sister offered to give me her barely used one.  So I tell my friend this in passing just in case she was planning on getting one.

Well, today she calls me and tells me that she and a few of my old co-workers want to chip in and buy me a crib and if I had a style/ color that I liked.  I felt bad b/c DH's aunt and uncle offered to give us the one their daughter just grew out of.  I told her this but I felt bad b/c obviously they put a lot of thought into it.  And the one his relatives have offered is white whereas I was planning on espresso myself.  I also have a more modern taste and DH's aunt is very traditional so I may not even like the free crib (although I am willing to try to fit it in our jeep, haul it home across country, and make it work).

I didn't suggest a different idea or ask how much they had planned on spending.  I had told my BFF that I registered at BRU (where they all work) and at Target so I would think they could find something else to buy without my help.  I still just feel bad that everything she comes up with someone is already giving me their old one.  I almost wanted to just let her get it but that would have been impractical.  I don't even know why I feel so bad- like I hurt her feelings or something.  Maybe it's just my hormones.

 

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Re: Caught off guard regarding a gift- why do I feel bad?

  • eaduvalleaduvall
    Oh no! This happens to me every time I try to buy DH a gift. I find out something that he wants and then he buys it for himself! grr.... it is so sweet that they want to do something nice for you, however they probably should have asked you what you needed/wanted instead of telling you their idea. my MIL asked me what we needed and i could tell her up front that we had someone getting out crib and travel system. I think that you did the right thing telling her where you are registered so that she can see what you need/want and what has already been bought. I understand why you would feel bad, they are trying to do something really sweet and you have to keep telling them no, in a sense. don't beat yourself up everything will work out and they will get you something great. (maybe a nice glider?)
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  • mesrmesr

    i can see why you would be caught in a rough situation.  i also tried to get a bunch of stuff used with dd, so there weren't a lot of big purchases left for friends and family to give as gifts. 

    the only things that remained to be purchased new: car seat and breastpump.  if you haven't gotten these two, suggest one of them to her.

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  • IdigDirtIdigDirt member

    Oh that stinks, it's a tough situation because she wants to be nice but hopefully she just goes off your registry.

    Word of advice, make sure the crib is safe and ask for pics before hauling it across the country or you will end up with a crib in your basement with no where to put it. 

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