Mom in delivery room?

abatkins · February 2011

So, I guess I have heard some mothers are in with them in the delivery room.

This is my first and I am my mom's only daughter, so I am on the fence. I would like her to feel included, but I don't want my fiance to feel his toes are stepped on either.

lily87 · February 2011

So I never thought I would have my mom in the delivery room even though this is her 1st grandchild and my sister doesn't plan on having kids. I just didn't think she would want to be there and I am not sure how helpful she would be in the moment (all three of us were c-sections, so I could see myself go bs on her if she says something like stop embarrassing yourself, lol).

But, recently she did say she would be there if I wanted her to. I think I would like her at the hospital, but not in the room when the pushing starts. My plan is to call her when I am in labor, and we'll see when she gets here (she lives 2 hours away).

KatKan · February 2011

I don't know why, but I have never considered having anyone but my DH in the room. I'm sure my mom would love it, but I think it's kind of a private thing for you and your SO? Plus the whole legs spread with everything hangin' out... just don't feel comfortable with anyone other than my DH.

Maybe talk to her about it and see how she feels? But I wouldn't feel obliged if you are on the fence about it. It used to be just the woman and medical staff while even DH was in the waiting room! Now it seems you can have everyone in the delivery room... which is a good option to have if you want it of course.

TheFannins729 · February 2011

I didn't think I wanted my mom there. At the last minute I ok'd her to come in and take pictures. Honestly, she was so hands off and in the background, I didn't even realize she was there. and dh and i were both grateful later to have those pictures of ds in his first few minutes.

hisaak · February 2011

I couldn't imagine having my mom in there with us ... but a lot of that is how I deal with stress, and how my mom is. I love her to death, but when I am in pain, she becomes hover-y trying to help ... and all I want is to deal with it alone.

I can't see that ending well in the delivery room!

If it had anything to do with the actual private nature of the whole thing instead of what I just mentioned, I think I would consider for the 2nd birth ... because when it came down to it, I didn't care who was looking at my naked self

faithhopeinlove · February 2011

I know it sounds really odd, but I'll want my mom in the room with me and DH. I am very close with my mom, as is my dh. He absolutely loves my mom and she is a very patient and supportive person. She almost has her masters in marriage & family therapy and will be of much assistance in the delivery room in my opinion, just incase DH faints or what not as well. It was also be my mom's first grandchild and I am her only daughter. She had me at 21 and has given me much support and advice already... I think in my situation, my mom deserves to be with me and experience the joy, not to mention be my voice of reason and calmness.

jenniann87 · February 2011

I am the only daughter in my family and this is the first grandchild for my parents. But it never even crossed my mind to have my mom in the delivery room. Once I start pushing it will be my Fi, the doctor and nurses. My parents and in-laws will be at the hospital just not in the room. I want that time and a little bit of time after LO is born for just me and my Fi.

mjune3881 · February 2011

This is my first and this is the first grandchild on my side. As close as my mom and I are, I think I want this moment to be just me, DH and the baby. I think I would consider letting her sit in on the second one.

iahlgren · February 2011

My husband isn't sure he wants to be in the delivery room. He is one of those people who can't deal with blood or anything medical, and he's worried he'll pass out! Based on this, I'm thinking it might be nice to have my mom there. On the other hand, I might just go it alone.

SockMonkeySam · February 2011

I had a totally diffrent experience than people who go in and have children. My water broke at 23 weeks and my mom was a godsend. She didn't leave my side. She just knew I needed her the whole 31 hours, while my husband was just pacing, as it was hard for him.

But I had no problem with my mom in the room, but it's a personal decission.

veronicafvr · February 2011

I want both my mom and MIL in the room along with DH and my sister if she is visiting when I go into labor. I was with my sister when she delivered my niece along with our mom and my BIL and was so grateful for being able to experience it. My sister is my best friend and I am very close with both my mom and MIL.

marriedtoeric · February 2011

We're not even telling our families when I'm in labor, so there will definitely be no moms in our delivery room. Our birth center encourages us to have a support person, but they prefer spouse/sig other if we have one.

mathmom22 · February 2011

With our first I asked my mom to be in the room because my DH doesn't deal well with blood and my pain. I was afraid that he would pass out and then I would be all alone. It was nice to have her there anyways, my DD had to be vacuumed out so my mom went with her to make sure she was ok. (I didn't get to hold her) DH stayed with me to make sure that I was ok. With our second my mom wasn't supposed to be there when I started pushing. She had a pass to come back during labor to give my dad and in-laws updates so DH didn't have to leave me. At one point she came back just looking in on me and I was getting ready to push. (Really short labor) She decided to stay. I didn't have a problem with it. This time, I imagine she will be helping with the other two in the waiting room.

SusieBW · February 2011

I told DH last week that he needs to act as a bouncer during my L&D because I don't want anyone else in the room with us, including our moms or his aunt and her friends who are nurses at the hospital where I'm delivering. He was shocked that I didn't want my mom there and he thought she would be hurt by that. He sort of came down on me about it, because I'm the only girl, and my brother lives out of state, so she only sees the other grandkids a couple of times a year.

I had already talked to my mom about it, though, and she said that she wouldn't have expected to be in the room - she feels the same way that I do - only DH and I were there when the baby was conceived, why does anyone else have to be there when it's born? (other than medical staff, obviously) They can all be at the hospital if they want, but I don't want them in the room.

I'm very nervous about his aunt pushing her way into the room because she's a nurse there, though. And DH is very bad about standing up to anyone in his family, but especially his mom and aunt. So I'm going to try and make it clear to everyone beforehand that I don't want them in the room during l&d. Like PP said, I want the time with just us as soon as the baby is born, too.

macdidlyicious · February 2011

Not a chance in hell. The only people that will be present will be me, my DH, our doula, the doc, and whatever nurses need to be there.

BlondeBride123 · February 2011

I guess it will all depend on when LO decides to arrive. I want my mom to be there, if she would like to. Sometimes, this girl needs her mom! DH is wonderful, and would be fine with it also. My 2 stepsons live with us, so if it comes down to needing her to watch the boys or be in the room, she would obviously be with the boys. If the boys are with their mom, she will most likely come to see her grandchild be born. We don't know if it will be the first or second grandchild since my SIL is due 12 days before me........so honor of 1st grandkid is up for grabs lol.

marriedfilingjointly · February 2011

macdidlyicious:
Not a chance in hell. The only people that will be present will be me, my DH, our doula, the doc, and whatever nurses need to be there.

Same here. If I have my way, we'll call family when it's all over.

Geekchick921 · February 2011

Last time I planned on having my mom and sister in with me, along with DH. Then they just wound up pissing me off when I was getting induced, because the BP cuff kept me up all night and I was just sitting in bed glaring at those peacefully sleeping MFers. Eventually I woke them up and threw them out.

To be perfectly honest, they were pretty useless in the delivery room. They had no idea what to do and it just made me feel even more awkward even though they're my flesh and blood. This time it will just be me, DH, and a doula, if I have one (and obviously my CNM and any other staff).

solsburyhill · February 2011

My situation is a little different - my mom was an OB nurse for many years and she was a childbirth educator and lactation consultant for many years too, so I consider her an expert! She's been out of that world for about 10 years, but I still really trust her knowledge.

For that reason, yes, I want my mom there. If she didn't bring that background to the table, I probably would not have her in the room.

And seeing as my mom will be in the room, I will probably let MIL be in there too if she wants to. I don't think she will, she's a pretty private person, but I adore my MIL and figure it wouldn't be fair to DH to let my mom in but not his.

Oh and also - DH's cousin is in med school to be an OB. DH would really like if she could help deliver the baby. I think that would be an awesome experience so if my OB is on board, cousin will be there too.

Bia_Believer · February 2011

With my mom it's not even a choice. She WILL be in there whether I like it or not, lol. She'd be so offended if I told her I didn't want her in there. I don't mind I think it's cultural (West Indian thing). My DH probably wont be there anyway due to deployment so I'm probably going to have her and my 2 sisters in there.

JenniferAnnes · February 2011

My mom will be. She had 3 natural childbirths herself (which is what I'm hoping to have with this baby), so i think she'll be very helpful. DH will be there too of course. I'm am however forbidding both of them from watching "down there". I don't want that image in DH's head forever haha.

TheFannins729 · February 2011

JenniferAnnes:
My mom will be. She had 3 natural childbirths herself (which is what I'm hoping to have with this baby), so i think she'll be very helpful. DH will be there too of course. I'm am however forbidding both of them from watching "down there". I don't want that image in DH's head forever haha.

hate to break it to you, but if they are in the room, they will be able to see all. my mom was behind my head taking pictures and i still had to crop the hell out of them because you could see everything.

TeamJAS · February 2011

I plan on having my DH, my mom and my MIL (if she arrives in time) in the room with me. However, none of them are allowed to look at my vag at any time.

Geekchick921 · February 2011

TeamJAS:
I plan on having my DH, my mom and my MIL (if she arrives in time) in the room with me. However, none of them are allowed to look at my vag at any time.

I'm sorry, but I find this hilarious.

1. Including your DH? I bet he's seen it before.

2. How do you NOT look at a woman's vagina as a baby's coming out of it?

3. I never got this far with DD, but a lot of women, as they reach transition or it's time to push, feel the need to completely strip and/or get in a position that displays their goods to everyone in the room.

I'm also picturing the doctor like, "Okay, ready? One... two... three... push!"

And you're just like, "RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! OHGODNOONELOOKATMYBAJINGOOOOOO!"

picksthemusic · February 2011

I think it depends on the mother, really. I've been thinking about it, and I know I want her at the hospital while I'm in labor, let her in to talk when I can, and maybe have her stand outside to hear the baby cry (if that's even possible). I have a sneaking suspicion that my mom will be overbearing if I give her too much leeway. I want the delivery to be special for DH and I, and include family when we're ready (like an hour or two after the birth). They're more than welcome to wait in the waiting room as long as they want, but no one but DH and the staff will be in the delivery room while I push.

TheFannins729 · February 2011

i don't get it either geek. i mean, dh was watching ds come out and he still wants to have sex, so i'm guessing it wasn't too traumatic. and honestly, when that time comes, all you care about it pushing to end the pain.

Corbin30 · February 2011

My mom was not in the room for my previous two deliveries, but she will be here for this one. Reason? Because my husband probably won't. My due date is Sept. 16th, and he will gone with the military until Sept. 20th. I have no intention of doing this solo, so my mom will be coming to stay with me. My MIL also offered, and while I would be more than happy to have her (we are close) she is a nurse and hates L&D more than you can imagine. It was a sweet self-sacrifice for her to offer, but I wouldn't do that to her lol!

ermaderma · February 2011

I definitely want my mom there! My DH wants her there, too and he actually wants his mom there, too. We will see how many people are allowed in the room.

While I'm laboring, I assume there will be people coming and going and at this point, I think I'll be fine with that.

Tessababy4 · February 2011

I will absolutely have my mother in the room with me. She is a labor and delivery nurse and I am sure that I will be comforted and reassured having her there. However, my mom was talking about how recently all kinds of family members have been in the room during the delivery for some of the moms that she takes care of. She was saying that there were some FILs, brothers, grandfathers and uncles in there. I'm sorry if this is the way you plan to go, but I could never do that. eeekkk. I guess it is important to have whoever you need...

mishele · February 2011

I am an only child and given my age (35) and the trouble we went through to get pregnant, I'm not sure we would have another. So, this would be my mom's only grandchild. Even so, I wouldn't have her in the room. Thankfully, it's not even an issue, our hospital only allows one person in with you in the delivery room and that will be DH. I love my mom and everything, but there's no way.

KBaker421 · February 2011

My mom was in the delivery room with me for DD, and will be in there with this one also

KBaker421 · February 2011

It's a big Hell No to the MIL though

lilmuffin77 · February 2011

marriedtoeric:
We're not even telling our families when I'm in labor, so there will definitely be no moms in our delivery room. Our birth center encourages us to have a support person, but they prefer spouse/sig other if we have one.

this. i have never wanted anyone but dh in the delivery room, but when my stepsister had her kids and always had her mother in the room, my mom said to me, "well, i hope you know when you have a baby i will be in there!" uuhhhh, i don't think so.

erin_aaronsbaby · February 2011

Both my mom and DH's mom wanted to be in the delivery room with DS. Since we could only have 1 other person besides DH, I opted that it would just be him and me only - that way no one was hurt or offended that they were left out. I wound up having a c-section anyway, so it was kinda a moot issue. LOL.

sw_wedding · February 2011

My mom wants to be in the delivery room and asked if she could. I don't mind at all if she is in the room.

Mereou12 · February 2011

Nope -- its just me and DH for this show. it was just the two of us last time (my parents came in from out of town the next day), and it'll be the same this time. My mom will probably be staying at home with DS. I'm the only daughter,too, but this is an intimate time for husbandand wife....not a viewing gallery full of people.

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