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Attachment Parenting
mylo
member
any Jay Gordon success stories? Does it = CIO?
mylo
member
I have to do something. We cosleep and the boy nurses all night. I just can't handle it anymore. I read about the Jay Gordon method, but it sounds like a lot of crying is involved. Is it the same as CIO? Will DS hate me in the morning? Will he think I'm rejecting him during the no-nurse time? TIA
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Re: any Jay Gordon success stories? Does it = CIO?
Hi! Warning, long answer. We've been at this for about 3 weeks.
We're a Gordon mosttly success story.
Last night was a total fail with some teething challenges, but the method allows for rough nights.
DS bedshares with us and was up about every hour for months. It was driving us loooooooony but we just couldn't CIO, nor did we want to. Still, the NCSS stuff didn't really work and something needed to change.
The first night was really rough. DS woke up, I gave him the bottle, and took it away when he calmed down. He got MAD, and it took us about 45 minutes to get him to sleep. He was definitely crying, but in more of the angry/upset/confused way, not scared or in pain. We were right there (Daddy had to take over in the living room a couple times, it was hard!!) and he wasn't crying alone. He eventually gave up and fell asleep in my arms. He woke up 3 or 4 more times that night, and they were all pretty awful.
Night #2, repeat, but instead of 30-45 minutes each time, it was 10 minutes, and 3 wakings total.
Night #3, took the bottle away when he was chill, and he wiggled around, made fussy noises, and fell asleep. Only 1 night waking! Yay!
Night #4, the bottle does not magically appear. OMG, you'd think it was the end of the world. He was pissssssed. It took about an hour to get him to sleep this time, on and off crying, but again he wasn't hysterical, scared or in pain, he was upset and annoyed. Only 1 waking, but it was a long one. I almost gave up at this point, not going to lie.
Night #5, much better. LO finished his nighttime bottle and decided to "talk" to me in bed (very cute), and fell asleep on his own for the first time without a bottle in his mouth, no crying. He woke up and fussed a bit, but ultimately fell asleep again pretty easy!
Night #6 - STTN! OMG, I was so BLOWN AWAY!! He went down @ 8:30 and didn't wake up till 6:30!!!
Night #7 - STTN!!!
The rest of the nights were variations of #5, with a couple of STTNs thrown in.
These days, LO falls asleep without the bottle, in bed with me. About 75% of the time, he's able to settle back to sleep easily when he wakes up, with a quick cuddle. Last night, the teething monster struck and he did need a full bottle @ 3am to settle, but I didn't mind.
All in all, it was totally worth it. Hard, but better that full on CIO in my opinion. I was there, DH was there, we were soothing him and supporting him. We just weren't giving him what he wanted -- and that's ok. He's old enough to understand that he doesn't always get what he wants (he flipped out yesterday because Daddy wouldn't let him have his iPhone, that was just as bad).
HTH!
How old do you think your LO was when he was able to "understand" that he doesn't always get what he wants?
I have a feeling we will end up doing something about night time nursing and I am just wondering when a good time to do that is. I definitely feel like it is too early now, at almost 8 mos.
For us, it started just before 11 months. He totally understands the word "no" (even though we try not to use it much!). He's been walking since 9 months and talking since 10 months (Mama, Dada, Baba, Kitty, Dog, Up).
He's not supposed to unplug Daddy's computer, for example, but tries often. DH shakes his head "no" and redirects - at 11 months, he started to walk up to the computer, make eye contact, shake his head "no", grin and reach for the computer. He started to have minor meltdowns when he couldn't have what he wanted (Mommy's coffee cup, the knives in the dishwasher lol).
So, I guess, I'd look for things like that.
well, we have all that! when she is on the changing table she tries to turn over. we have been telling her no, and now she will try to turn over and start laughing. She will also look at us before crawling over to a cord or to the dog bone she loves to try to eat. it is still pretty easy to take things away from her and redirect her though.
hmmm... interesting!
sorry for hijacking your post!