- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Scared To Death Of TTC Again
DH and I talked last night and decided that we want to start TTC again. I am so conflicted. I am so excited, but at the same time I am scared to death!
We had TTC Ella for 3 years. We went to 2 different RE's. The first one did all the testing, scheduled the IVF and then closed shop and ran with our money. The second RE told me that I would never be able to have children and if we wanted to try, we needed to use donor eggs. DH and I decided that wasnt the route we wanted to go (I am by no means knocking using donor eggs, it just wasn't right for us). I was devastated. A month after that appointment with the RE, I found out I was pg. Our RE couldn't explain to us how this was possible. At that point, it didn't really matter, we were finally blessed with a LO.
Both DH and I want to have another baby, but the month after month of BFN's is devastating. Part of me thinks that we were blessed with a LO after we were told we couldn't have any kids, maybe I should just leave it at that. The other part of me says, they told us it wasn't possible to have kids and we did. Specialists, do not know everything. It happened once and there is a possibility it could happen for us again.
Sorry this is so long, but I have this conversation playing over and over in my head. DH says to go for it, but the BFN's are not as devastating to him as they are to me.
If you were in this situation, WWYD?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Scared To Death Of TTC Again
My story is nowhere near as drastic as yours, but it's similar. We found out we were ku when we were at our first meeting w/ the re. They hadn't even done anything for us yet. I feel into about a 30% chance window.
I think we're a one and done couple, but should we change our minds, I'd go for it with all I could. I'd just set my limits and expectations up front and not beat myself up with the outcome.
We had no problems TTC DD but I had some issues PP and ended having surgery that my doctor said has created some scar tissue on my uterus and to expect for it to take 'some time' to concieve #2. He also told us that I would be more prone to miscarry due to the lining/integrity of my uterus. This has absolutely affected us deciding whether or not we even want #2 and when to "try". I don't know if I want to deal (emotionally and physically) with all of that. It is tough to prepare yourself for heartbreak but you just hope the outcome (in the end) will be worth it. I always tell myself no matter what, I am a mother and no one can take that away from me. Having one child is better than having none and we would be more than happy to share our life with just her. *Hopefully* she gets a brother or a sister some day... I am confident it will all work itself out.
I wish you the best of luck. You sound ready... You know the hard road ahead of you and you are prepared for the BFNs... That will just make that one BFP all the more awesome for you guys!
I have no idea what to expect with us... We got our BFP on our 3rd cycle. Out of fear I think we are holding off TTC #2 for at least a couple of years.
I just wanted to say GL! ::baby dust:: If I were you, I wouldn't even keep pregnancy tests in my house- I get POAS happy.
I'll also tell you a story- My neighbor had an emergency cs and had major difficulties afterwards. They told her she'd never get pregnant again or be able to carry to term. She was pregnant with #2 when they told her that! She went on to have 4 kids...
Whatever you decide to do, good luck!
It took 2 years and one m/c to get pregnant with DD. I was on Clomid, DH had an SA done, and we went through a bunch of testing. No one could figure out what the problem was. We were waiting for an appointment to start IUI when I found out I was pg.
With DS we weren't ready to go through all of that again. I went off of the pill and we were in a "if it happens, it happens" state of mind. It took 8 months, but I got pregnant without any intervention.
Just realize that every pregnancy, conception, and child is different.
In your situation, I would adopt
DH and I never moved on to fertility treatments. I've heard so many stories like yours about the disappointment each month and the emotional roller coaster during treatments. It just isn't for me. When we learned of our fertility issues (which was before we really got serious about TTC), we quickly moved on to adoption. We don't prevent pregnancy, so if it ever happens of course we'll be thrilled, but I don't think we'll ever TTC.
I know that adoption isn't for everyone, but for us it was the most amazing experience and I haven't ever regretted skipping the treatments.
I know how you feel. We TTC Addie for a little over 3 years as well. We are probably going to go back to our RE in the fall to TTC again. (Not preventing now, but unlikely I'd be PG for then).
I'm nervous about TTC again but at the same time I kinda feel like having DD will almost cushion the blow if we aren't able to or it takes awhile. I think the not having a baby and desperately wanting one would be much harder than trying to add to the family. However I could be totally wrong about that once we start the process!
my blog
I know the amount of pressure you can put on yourself TTC; I did have issues but DH has some wonky SA done that scared us. We ended up conceiving w/out help but I look back and realize that the minute I "let go" it happened. That said, I am scared of TTC #2 soon- I would think that now we know what pressure we put ourselves under the first time, that we can try to mitigate it, plus we have these beautiful LO's to care for!
GL!
vegan mama, military wife