NBR: parents asking me to move back in?

Sarahhhlynn · February 2011

My dad lost his job in February and now wants help to pay the bills. Instead of looking for another job, he asks me to move in back with him so MY job can help him pay the bills. Uncalled for? I have a cute 2br by the shore, which is about 45 mins from everywhere, but i love being secluded in my own town that i dont stop at the store and see my whole graduating class. I actually love it, i love being on my own and paying for everything me and B need. Ive already told my dad no, but hes not getting the hint and is quite pissed im not jumping on this offer. I wont be saving money, ill be wasting more. Am i out of line for refusing this?

CheyenneShaw · February 2011

If he was not capable of working I would say the least you could do is send some $$ here and there, after all he raised you, but from the way it sounds it seems he can find a job or can at least try to and he doesn't want to make an effort. So no, I don't think you are being unreasonable. 1ht

renc9828 · February 2011

I think you need to do what is best for you and your LO. If you have found a situation that is comfortable and you are able to support your child better than you could if you move in with your dad then I say you are not out of line.

MonkeySender · February 2011

I agree with PP, if he was unable to take care of himself, then you should consider it... but if he's too stubborn to find a new job, then that is not your problem to deal with.

katicusj · February 2011

IMO your not out of line. Its your life and you have to live it your way. Do whats best for you and your baby.

panicked228 · February 2011

Nope, not out of line at all. It's not your responsibility to take care of him. If he's just out of work and able to take care of himself, then he shouldn't be relying on you. If he has issues caring for himself, then you should get adult social services involved so that they can help him find more affordable housing and financial assistance. Don't feel pressured to run back home just because he's your father. Not only would that cause resentment towards him from you,but I don't know of a single person that has moved back with their parents and had it turn out well. Stick to your guns; do what's best for you and your LO.

Anonymi · February 2011

Quite frankly, I don't really see it fair for him to ask you to move back. IF he was unable to work then it would be more fair for him to ask to move in with you or for you to help support him. You shouldn't have to give up everything you work for for your father especially if it is just because he lost his job and won't look for a new one. If he really needs the help then he can give up what he has to come to you.

MrsFv20 · February 2011

Offer to help him post advertisements looking for a roommate. That would help him cut his bills in half. It makes zero sense for you to give up your house and move back in with him, especially with LO.

I would also offer to help him update (or make) his resume, help him go suit shopping (NOT pay for it, just help him pick one out), help him practice interviewing, or even help him go online to look for jobs.

vallefm · February 2011

Don't let anyone pressure you into moving. If you are happy where you are then stay. You are an adult and your parents need to understand that.

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