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Working Moms
CarlySara
member
Another update about DD's bruises (long again...sorry)
CarlySara
member
in Working Moms
First, I'd like to start off with some explanations. DH works with a lawyer who used to practice Family Law. She strongly suggested we take her to the doctor to look at the bruises because doctors know what's "normal toddler bruising" and what isn't. The doctor would have a better idea if this was something to be concerned about of not. As soon as the doctor saw it, he was almost 100% certain that it was from a hand print and the doctor made the report! DH and I will be extremely happy if the investigation comes back as someone trying to keep DD from hurting herself, and not abuse. However, on the chance that that was not the case, we want to make sure that no other children (DD included) ever have this happen to them. The big problem is that, more often than not, parents do not report bruising that happens in school...they assume it is typical. I am very aware that children get bumps and bruises in school. However, the manner of bruising that I found on DD is not typical bruising caused by a fall, getting hit with a toy, or bit by another child.
Here's the update:
Friday morning, DD and I went into the school to start our day. On our
way in, I let administration know that we did, in fact, go to the
doctor. I told them that the doctor was almost positive that it was created by an adult hand and that he would be reporting it. DH and I aren't trying to pull one over on the school, so we were trying to keep them in the know of what we were doing, hoping that they would return the favor. I made it clear that we weren't looking for a law suit (we're not like that). At this time, I was told that I was going to be called into another meeting so they could "understand exactly what (I'm) trying to get out of this." I said that since this is not about me as a teacher, but as me as a parent than I wanted my husband present for the meeting. The owner of the school asked where my husband worked, and I told her the name of the law firm.
About 5 minutes later I was called to the office. They told me that they thought it would be better for "everyone involved" if I took DD and left the school during the duration of the investigation. They also decided that a meeting with DH and myself wouldn't be necessary because they didn't have any new information for us. When I told DH, he decided that he would only work 1/2 the day and come home to be with us.
So, DD and I went to the park, and then we came home and she rode her bike. She had lunch and took a nap. During this time, I got a call from DSS asking about the incident. I told her, and she let me know that someone would be coming to the house to interview DH and myself and to take some pics of DD and her bruising. She also said that she was on her way out to the school to talk to teachers and administration and take a look at the videos.
Someone from DSS did come out to the house. She interviewed DH and me (separately) and observed DD. When she left, DD reached for her and gave her a very sweet hug. She said that someone would be in touch, so now we are sitting ducks. Waiting for news and trying to decide what to do about work. We shall see! Thanks for the warm thoughts, the whole family is emotionally exhausted right now...trying to keep our thoughts positive and our minds on what matters most...DD!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Another update about DD's bruises (long again...sorry)
FWIW, this was good advice. If you put DD back in the class, where you suspect an adult of hurting her, you are putting your DD in harms way. Here, it could be considered neglect.
And, if I were you, regardless of how the investigation turns out, I would start looking for a new job. Right or wrong, all trust is probably lost with your employer at this point.
I hope it all works out for the best!
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
I am guessing that DSS is the state agency that investigates these things? I agree with PP, you might want to start considering what your other job options are. Hopefully, it turns out to be nothing and the school sees that you were reacting in the way that any concerned parent would. It sounds like the investigation is moving along and IMO, giving you 2 weeks paid leave was a smart move by the school.
This sounds like a horrible situation for everyone involved. It has to be a nightmare for you as a parent and the school.
I would be an emotional mess. And I don't like how they asked you what you were hoping to get out of it all. As if they thought it was dragging on and on and should be dropped. No way!
I am glad you are taking all of these steps. Keep us posted! Good luck.
You know, if the videos do not reveal anything that the school environment did to cause the bruising, DSS will be looking more closely at you and your husband. That's a given. You already know that you will be removing your DD from the school and leaving your job.
This all sounds like if your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
I hope it all works out and your daughter is safe. However this series of posts looks more like you are building a case and less like you are venting or asking for advice.
Right now there is inconclusive evidence as to whether or not her child was bruised at the hand of a caretaker & you feel the need to point out that this investigation could backfire and turn on her?
Really???
Did it ever occur to you that her and her husband are taking the best actions to look out for their family? The situation is tough since she works there. Maybe, she continued to report to school for work because it would otherwise be considered quitting in which case she would have no re-course?
What is wrong with people.
I don't interpret what's going on as case building in a lawsuit sense of things. The more that come out from OP, the more it sounds like she is just being cautious. Its a serious situation and I think everyone is behaving in the manner you would pretty much expect. I would want as much information as possible and have all the facts in case I become the target of an investigation myself.
I'm with you. Why is it taking them so long to review the tape? Please continue to update when you can and I hope this all turns out to be nothing.
Thanks for the update.
I think you could easily not post anything here. and I'm learning from the process. Although I live in another country. I'm taking mental notes in case something like that happens.
again, thanks for sharing. and hope everything turns out ok.
Re: the tapes. I am guessing that the director has watched the tapes and at this point turned them over to the state investigator.
If the daycare was my client, I would advise them to not let anyone else view the tapes, cooperate with the state and not destroy anything. So while the director may be stalling by saying that she hasn't seen the tapes, I would almost guarantee that she has and that she is acting on the advice of counsel/policy.
This exactly!