My parents offered up a groupon deal at a local fancy italian restaurant (they wanted Ava overnite, their master plan failed, we picked her up at 9pm, HAHAH!) so we had a coupon for $70 at this place. Well, even with just an app, a couple primos, and entrees, plus a CHEAP bottle of wine... the tab was $120 with tip. Goodness gracious, I am STILL having guilt over that, even if a good part of it was free! lol. (then we had another GC to use up for drinks and dessert somewhere else, that cost us a $5 tip, so we're good there, lol)
I would have much rathered some pancakes or Pho and gotten Ava some NEW pants instead of "gently used" ones. I have so much guilt spending money when I'm not working, it's insane.
Relate or dispell, please ;-)
Re: How often do you SPLURGE eating out?
Before kids? Every few months.
Now? Once or twice a year.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Not that I have a full year of experience to draw from, but we're on target for this. We used to splurge every other month or so, now it will probably just be for a few special occasions like bdays and our anniversary (I hate going to restaurants for things like v-day when they are packed).
I agree it is really tough when you compare it to what you could be spending the money on otherwise, but every once in a while you need to do something nice for you. I think it's ok.
Maybe 2 or 3 times a year... we just went out on Thursday after my parents gave us a gift for the holidays. I was also surprised at how quickly the bill added up!
I am a total cheapskate myself and also have a lot of guilt eating out like that, even if we can afford it.
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
Now that we have DD, we hardly eat out at all. Between me going down to part-time (and having daycare costs), having a child that hates to sit still, and not having anyone to watch her, we stick to homemade meals most of the time. When we do go out (or carry in), we tend to stick with places that we can eat for $30 and under.
Before DD we used to eat out a ton, but we only splurged on nicer places 1-2 times/year. We're not fancy people at all and prefer more casual, lower cost dining. I have never liked spending a lot of money on eating out and now that we have DD, I feel even more guilty when we do.
TTC#2=July 2011: Surprise BFP: Chemical Pregnancy
Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
*Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
Whenever we can, honestly - but that's still not very often. My birthday, his birthday, our anniversary - this year we did for Valentine's Day because it was parents' night out at daycare
We do eat out a lot, though, and it's amazing how quick the bill can add up. We spent $60 last time we went to Cheesecake Factory, for example! That definitely stung, but still wasn't the type of adults-only "splurge" you're talking about, imo.
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
It's pretty rare for us too.
Friends of ours wanted to go out to celebrate a friends birthday. The large group tends to order apps for the table, drinks galore and etc. Before we had kids, it was no big deal to split the big evenly, because it all came out in the wash.
Now? No way. We can't really afford/justify even going out to dinner with them (and the caliber places they like to go) in a month surrounded by Valentines day (we usually get take out) or DH's B-day (one of our 3 annual trips out, which include b-days and anniversary). Even though I'm no longer drinking and that cuts down on our bill, it just always adds up quickly.
I offered to cook them a meal and they came over here. It was still expensive (crab cakes and other expensive foods) but worth the $ considering how much going out would have cost.
This is why we are friends! I have spending $$ guilt BIG time...and I do work AND own my own business!
A dinner like this is once in a blue moon (one that costs $120). But, I wouldn't have felt guilty if I had $70 off that dinner because I would have probably spent about $40-50 normally anyway when going out to dinner. We probably go out to a regular dinner about once a week or ever other week. I love eating out and I try hard not to feel guilty when we do.
I actually feel more guilty when I spend full price on a pair of pants for P (compared to the 6 pairs of gently used pants for the same price) than I do for a much needed night out with the hubby.
Verdict: Do not have guilt about this one :-)
2 infertiles' journey to 2 pink lines (and a baby girl)
"our IF story"
Before kids (or TTC really) we used to go out to fancy restaurants almost every weekend. We've gone less and less since my first pregnancy and quickly following second plus bedrest, in part because a lot of what I liked I couldn't eat (raw fish/meat, imported cheeses, rare meats, etc.).
Now? Probably once or twice a year. Since Toodle was born I think we've had 4 fancy meals: my 30th birthday, taking our friends out to celebrate their marriage since we missed the wedding, our anniversary, and just a random "date" because DH wanted to try the fancy French restaurant in town. This is also in part because we don't go out without Toodle, if we did we'd probably eat at nicer places more often but those 4 meals are the only ones I think we've had without Toodle since he was born other than workday lunches and a couple casual dinners with friends.
SPLURGE eating out? I'm not familiar with the concept.
before kids? Um never- even when we were dating.
now?- um never
Oh wait we did go to the Melting Pot once but that was because someone gave us a $100 AMEX giftcard and I figured we'd never ever spend that kind of money on a meal if we had to pay for it ourselves.
so interesting.... we have friends that go out ALL the time, in fact, their kids order filet mignon and a such without blinking an eye. But they don't ever ever ever go on vacations, family or otherwise. Which is "to each their own" but I sat there eating my over-priced noodles thinking "OMG, this is like 5 nights in Bangkok at our favorite dinky hotel, lol.
On the same lines, I recently had dinner with an old nursing school friend, and she was SHOCKED and blown away by the fact I was still driving the same car. To the point she teased me and was laughing. Yeh, my kid's been to several countries and we travel often, I could give a chit less if my lil' Grand Am is still getting us around to playdates and the grocery store. lol. Money to travel is important in our world, that's where we choose to splurge! lol.
2 infertiles' journey to 2 pink lines (and a baby girl)
"our IF story"
lol, I don't know. I guess spending big(ger) bucks while you eat out. We go out about once a week to "Crapplbee's" or something and spend $25, and I think nothing of it.
But spending $100+ on dinner last nite put me into guilty conscious hell. lol.