bedsharing questions

njh514 · February 2011

I know that the AP board is probably the best place to go for this, but I thought I'd ask here first.

I'm exhausted, as is any mom with a 9 day old kid. Last night I did the side laying nursing maneuver with Amelie, fell asleep, and she and I both slept in until 8. It was glorious but not what I had intended. The whole suffocation, sids, etc. risks freak me out, but now I'm curious if there is a safe way to do this because it felt amazing. She nursed when she needed. I got to sleep. It was great.

Any advice for me? I'd love to do this but won't do it unless I'm confident it's safe.

mommy2b08 · February 2011

Remove all pillows/blankets from her waist area & above. DD slept with my arm out and the top of her head in my armpit basically. It kept my pillow from getting close to her. Also when I made the bed I tucked in the sheets/etc only allowed the sheets/comforters to reach just past my waist so I wouldn't accidentally pull them up over her while she slept.

I also kept the ceiling fan on low just to procide a little extra air circulation. GL, this was the only way I started sleeping at all when DD was little!

Valerie120408 · February 2011

We bed share as you described and as long as you don't have any medical conditions or are drunk, etc., it is pretty safe (according to our pedi, I don't actually have the studies he quoted). Here are some guidelines. But if you want to feel safer, maybe you could co-sleep? That way the baby will be very close but still sleep a bit away from you.

barnwife · February 2011

We bedshare 100% of the time. I love it! Actually, I'd be going nuts without it. J is up 6 or more times a night. Bedsharing is at least allowing me to get at least a little sleep.

As pp said, it can be done safely. Actually, if you EBF and bedshare safely, it reduces your child's risk of SIDS.

I often sleep with my arm out and J.'s head in my armpit. This makes nursing easier for us. We still use pillows, but J. isn't near them. We also still use blankets, but keep them below our waists.

If you are sick, or on meds, or been drinking, etc...don't bedshare. (I hope that's common sense, but I feel like someone should always give that reminder.)

Waking up in the morning next to my baby and DH as baby giggles and coos is one of the highlights of my day!

Dobie_Mama · February 2011

L sleeps in the crook of my arm, which keeps the pillow away from her. I keep covers at waist level and wear a tight fitting shirt with sleeves to bed so I A) stay warm and

don't have to worry about loose sleeves around her head. When B is home, I keep her on the side away from her because I'm more worried that he would roll onto her than I would. We have an Arm's Reach next to the bed so, should she roll, she'd just roll into that. While he's gone during the week I sleep on the side and she get the middle. Baby hogs the bed. lol

blissfully_caffeinated · February 2011

Dobie_Mama:
L sleeps in the crook of my arm, which keeps the pillow away from her. I keep covers at waist level and wear a tight fitting shirt with sleeves to bed so I A) stay warm and don't have to worry about loose sleeves around her head. When B is home, I keep her on the side away from her because I'm more worried that he would roll onto her than I would. We have an Arm's Reach next to the bed so, should she roll, she'd just roll into that. While he's gone during the week I sleep on the side and she get the middle. Baby hogs the bed. lol

This is exactly what I did for many months. It was heaven. It is safe and reduces SIDS risks if you do it correctly. Recliners are bad places to sleep with your baby (I only mention that because a lot of people do it). If you're worried about her rolling off you could get a toddler bed rail. I did that for a while even though I never really thought Ds would fall off.

kdello · February 2011

blissfully_caffeinated:
Dobie_Mama:
L sleeps in the crook of my arm, which keeps the pillow away from her. I keep covers at waist level and wear a tight fitting shirt with sleeves to bed so I A) stay warm and don't have to worry about loose sleeves around her head. When B is home, I keep her on the side away from her because I'm more worried that he would roll onto her than I would. We have an Arm's Reach next to the bed so, should she roll, she'd just roll into that. While he's gone during the week I sleep on the side and she get the middle. Baby hogs the bed. lol
This is exactly what I did for many months. It was heaven. It is safe and reduces SIDS risks if you do it correctly. Recliners are bad places to sleep with your baby (I only mention that because a lot of people do it). If you're worried about her rolling off you could get a toddler bed rail. I did that for a while even though I never really thought Ds would fall off.

I've slept with my LO just like the pps, in the crook of my arm, well away from the edge of the bed, with her on the "outside" part. (I read somewhere that it's better to keep the baby on the end to reduce the chance of dad smooshing her accidentally with a pillow or something, but I don't know if it's true.) Anyhow, it was a lifesaver for us. The first time I nursed laying down I nearly cried with relief when I figured out it meant I could actually SLEEP!!

One trick I use is to put a pillow between my knees that goes behind her back while she's nursing so that she can't roll backwards off the bed.

She has a pack and play at the foot of our bed that she sleeps in generally, but I keep her with me while she's eating and I usually doze off a while. Then when I wake up I put her back in the Pack n Play.

That said, I like the idea of the arm's reach thing next to the bed for just in case. After 7 months of her sleeping with us like this, she was stealthy enough with her rolling over last week to (in a span of about a second) knock away her "blocking pillow" and roll off the bed onto the floor and I felt SO BAD. I know accidents happen, but I was still a wreck. Thankfully she fell mostly onto the pillow she had knocked over first and didn't even get a goose egg. Now I'm only nursing her in the MIDDLE! Good luck, and congratulations on your beautiful girl!

JenniferJaneC · February 2011

Your little one is small enough for a Snuggle Nest cosleeper, if that would make you feel more comfortable. They are a little big for a queen bed and two adults, but you can make it work. They are no problem with one adult in the bed or a king bed.

The Snuggle Nest sits right on the bed and keeps baby close, but has its own side rails to keep baby safe. Plus it has a built in light and womb sounds that are nice. Before I became confident in cosleeping, we used ours every night. (And, we used it to help him transition to his own bed by placing the snuggle nest in his bed for naps).

ademc05 · February 2011

Thanks ladies! I guess co-sleeping it is. It's the only way LO3 (and I) will sleep. He wakes up every time I put him down. I was trying to avoid co-sleeping since with LO2 I always fell asleep while nursing and it seemed like I was neglecting her and couldn't really keep track of feedings.

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