will dh still find me attractive if i don't lose the belly flub??

TiffanyTheMom · February 2011

he tells me now that he 'wants' his wife and he keeps hitting on me, but then he'll screw it up and rub my flub with a wistful sigh. It makes me want to cry- i'm not sure if he actually wants ME or he's just a horny bastard who needs a place to stick his penis.

he's always talking about how eager he is to have me back to my pre-preg body and i already feel like that's not something i can promise him, and if i don't go back then what- is he going to keep making remarks on my belly? because really, he has no room to talk.

anyone else feel like they're going to let their dh down?

chloe081 · February 2011

Tiff he needs to give it a rest. For real. You are what 17 days postpartum? I can't even burn a twinkie off in that amount of time much less lose 20+ lbs of pregnancy weight. You are seriously beautiful don't let his comments get you down.

Pennilyn Novus · February 2011

chloe081:
Tiff he needs to give it a rest. For real. You are what 17 days postpartum? I can't even burn a twinkie off in that amount of time much less lose 20+ lbs of pregnancy weight. You are seriously beautiful don't let his comments get you down.

This.

I'm sure your DH is normally a wonderful man, but from your recent posts, it sounds like every other word coming out of his mouth is something that withers your self-esteem. Buy him a skin mag and tell him to take care of it himself. And while he's at it, he can clean the house himself too.

Tjames9820 · February 2011

What one minute! You mean to tell me you had his child, HIS, less than 3 weeks ago and he wants you to have a flat tummy!!! Ok he done pissed ME off and I don't know ya'll. I'd tell him some about his self/belly! I'm in shock of why someone that claims to love you uncoditionally would comment this soon about your tummy. I'm sure you look great!! try not to take his comment to heart. Maybe he doesn't know what to say! He sounds like he needs to go to the gym himself!!! Take care

daniellepanda · February 2011

Pennilyn Novus:
chloe081:
Tiff he needs to give it a rest. For real. You are what 17 days postpartum? I can't even burn a twinkie off in that amount of time much less lose 20+ lbs of pregnancy weight. You are seriously beautiful don't let his comments get you down.
This.
I'm sure your DH is normally a wonderful man, but from your recent posts, it sounds like every other word coming out of his mouth is something that withers your self-esteem. Buy him a skin mag and tell him to take care of it himself. And while he's at it, he can clean the house himself too.

I agree.... if my husband was saying/doing some of the things you have mentioned he has said/done I would want to punch him in the face. Seriously. He should be doing nothing but doing everything he can to kiss your ass, help out, and tell you how beautiful you are and not point out a single flaw. You just pushed a baby- HIS baby- out of your vag after carrying it around for 9 months, is he for serious?!?!? I mean this is your 3rd baby why does he think you would immediately be the same as you were pre-pregnancy after this short of time?

TiffanyTheMom · February 2011

I recovered pretty fast from my first pregnancy, I was back in pre-preg pants at one week post partum.

And he believes since I stay at home, the house is my responsibility. He helps out, but only with dishes. If I try to make a list of things that I usually do (clean toilets/countertops/sweep&vac&mop just for basics) he gets pissy and asks why having a baby makes me incapable of doing anything around the house. He seems to think that because my kids let me sleep til 8am that I get plenty of rest, but he doesn't factor in that I'm awake til 11pm everynight with a fussy baby and when I do get up for her 2x from 11pm til 8am, it's for almost an hour each time. I'm not getting as much sleep as he thinks I am.

I know I'm only 2 1/2 wks postpartum, but when he asks "So when do you think you'll be back in your 10's?" I want to SLAP him.

I did go BSC on him via email this morning though. He left only 2 slices of my white bread this morning because he used 4-6 slices to make 2-3 sandwiches to take to work... and I can't have wheat, it makes the baby fussy. I reamed him out for eating one of the few foods I can actually eat when he has the wheat bread! Douchebag should have used his bread, not mine. I now have nothing to make sandwiches with since I used the remaining 2 slices for toast this morning. I'm practically starving because he eats my friggin special food.

jdnemmer · February 2011

Don't be so hard on yourself! Your main focus right now is the baby, not losing weight!

DH and I always joke about the line from Knocked Up, in the office... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvP7cnmxlLM

LOL. Annnnnyway - I'm sure your husband loves who you are! I can't speak from first hand experience (yet), but I'm standing by to feel like a cow for a couple months PP. And so is DH Baby gain + PP emotions, that's how it goes.

jdnemmer · February 2011

Ok, punch him in the face for eating your bread. Then tell him to pick up another loaf or you're changing the locks. Jerk.

sommerrayne · February 2011

If I was in that position, I smack a now-more-flabby-than-when-you-met area of his body and say, "Ahhhhh, if your <a$$/chin/thighs/etc> could only have 1997 back" and then tell him he has to lay off the talk about your body because he's being an insensitive a$$hole. I'd not pull a punch on this one.

Will he still love me - IF HE WAS A DECENT GUY HE WOULD! If my husband's love/affection/doting/etc was conditional on my measurements we'd never last...that's the most shallow thing out there.

TiffanyTheMom · February 2011

Of course he'll still love it, but he's always talking about how sad he'd be if I never recovered from pregnancy.

You know, he was 187 when we got married (He's 6ft3) and he's pushing 214 now. It's all in his gut now. He really has NO place to sit there and 'encourage' me to work out to get my pre-baby body back when he won't work out to get back to nice(r) looking for me.

iamgrace · February 2011

Your H's fixation on your pre-preg body is frightening. Dude needs to get over it, and you need to ignore his assy remarks.

Bluescarf · February 2011

I think this guy needs to be asked some questions straightforward when he makes these comments. If my stomach was being patted with a sigh and I was being told by my husband that he can't wait for me to be back to my pre-pregnancy size I would be asking him if a) he understands what pregnancy and taking care of a newborn does to a woman's body b) if his love is/was based on what I look like all along c) if he likes having a wife to come home to each night d) does he ever notice the changes his own body has made over time, and when he plans on getting back to his original weight, etc. I think I'd also add the question of how would he feel if I pattd his stomach or butt and sighed, telling him I can't wait for him to look like he did when we were dating. Possibly he isn't really thinking about what and why he is saying these things, and needs to think a little harder about why he feels the way he does, and how moronic it is. Also, make him buy his own dang bread, along with the foods you need. If my husband was any less than grateful that I'm the onw who carried HIS baby around for nine months, and now take care of that beautiful LO, I would probably, as a pp said, change the locks. Whew! And done.

lilmamma021811 · February 2011

TiffanyTheMom:
Of course he'll still love it, but he's always talking about how sad he'd be if I never recovered from pregnancy.
You know, he was 187 when we got married (He's 6ft3) and he's pushing 214 now. It's all in his gut now. He really has NO place to sit there and 'encourage' me to work out to get my pre-baby body back when he won't work out to get back to nice(r) looking for me.

If you've mentioned it to him and he flat out refuses to make that effort for you, don't you dare even think about doing it for him. And the whole "housework being solely your responsibility" with 3 kids is bullsh*t. He needs to grow up and accept that some things change over time, after having his 3 children your body won't go back to the way it was before he knocked you up the first time (unless you have some seriously kick-ass genes), and he should love you for the beautiful soul you are whether or not you have a few extra pounds that are just stuck there.

Keep your chin up girl, from what I've seen of your maternity pictures, I think you're gorgeous and your husband is a complete dumbass for talking to you like he does.

Lilleybug · February 2011

It takes practically 10 months to put it on, it doesnt come off over night, especially after baby # 3! I dont think I'll ever get to my size 2 pre pregnancy body back, even if I starved! I agree pat his belly and sigh back!