Does anyone else not enjoy bed sharing, yet has to?

bancbev · February 2011

I am at the point where I can admit that I do not like bed sharing at all. I do like when she comes into our bed early in the morning (like 5ish) to nurse, snuggle, snooze. What I really cannot stand, is sharing the bed with her all night long. I feel like I really need several hours of sleep without her next to me. Where I can sleep however I want, on which side I want, hugging a pillow, covers up to my nose, alone with my husband, without having a little person all in my space.

However, DD is going through another one of her, I freak the eff out if placed in my crib, no matter the situation. So in order for any of us to get any sleep at all, she is in our bed all night long. My back hurts, my nipples hurt from her wanting to constantly be attached to me, yet not always latched on properly, I'm crabby, and I am starting to dread the sun going down, because I know that yet again, I will spend and uncomfortable night with her in our bed.

I have read, and implemented a lot of things from the NCSS. In a moment of desperation we tried a modified Ferber and she cried for almost 3 hours. Nothing works but our bed.

Sigh. I'm not really looking for advice but needed to vent. Someone tell me I am not alone.

Allie30 · February 2011

There there, sweetie. I feel your pain, except i'm not bedsharing. I'm a NCSS failure, a Ferber failure, a Weissbluth failure -- heck, in a moment of desperation this week I tried Babywise. She will NOT fall asleep "drowsy but awake" -- she is probably not ready to self-soothe yet, and I'll try again in a month or so. She sleeps in her crib in her nursery pretty well, but ONLY if I nurse her or rock her to sleep then sneak her in.

Have you tried to make sure she's REALLY out and sneaking her into the crib?

Good luck!

bancbev · February 2011

I have transfered to her crib after she was sleeping in our bed, or my arms for over and HOUR. The second her head touches the mattress she is wide awake, and screams as though she is being boiled in hot oil.

And my DD has never done the drowsy but awake. She will go to sleep for my husband if I am not home, but she fusses like crazy and he has to rock, pat her to sleep. If I am even in the house, forget it.

HappyMommy28 · February 2011

Don't feel bad about not liking to bed share. It's not for everyone. Have you tried moving a PnP into your room? that way she is still close to you but not in your bed.

BelhurstBride · February 2011

Don't feel badly not loving bedsharing. Though it's something I've grown to enjoy, it's not my first choice. I also love my own space and being able to sleep in whatever positions I choose. When it comes to sleeping versus being up with DD, I choose sleeping.

Anyway, you're not alone. Many of us have been there. Would she be content sleeping in a swing? That worked for us for a long time. Is your DD going through any major motor developmental milestones or teething- both of which could cause a disruption in sleep. Just when we thought DD's sleep had improved she through teething and wanting to walk at us.

Again, you're not alone. Things will get better.

Julias Table · February 2011

I could have wrote your original post! Back pain, not latched properly and wanting to suck all night, and me not really sleeping. But the alternative is him screaming in his crib which I cant do.

Lindsay7733 · February 2011

bancbev:
I am at the point where I can admit that I do not like bed sharing at all. I do like when she comes into our bed early in the morning (like 5ish) to nurse, snuggle, snooze. What I really cannot stand, is sharing the bed with her all night long. I feel like I really need several hours of sleep without her next to me. Where I can sleep however I want, on which side I want, hugging a pillow, covers up to my nose, alone with my husband, without having a little person all in my space.
However, DD is going through another one of her, I freak the eff out if placed in my crib, no matter the situation. So in order for any of us to get any sleep at all, she is in our bed all night long. My back hurts, my nipples hurt from her wanting to constantly be attached to me, yet not always latched on properly, I'm crabby, and I am starting to dread the sun going down, because I know that yet again, I will spend and uncomfortable night with her in our bed.
I have read, and implemented a lot of things from the NCSS. In a moment of desperation we tried a modified Ferber and she cried for almost 3 hours. Nothing works but our bed.
Sigh. I'm not really looking for advice but needed to vent. Someone tell me I am not alone.

It's like we share a brain. I'm going through the exact same thing, down to the sore nipples.

celiabwatson · February 2011

I know how you all feel. It does get better (the sleep, not sharing a bed). I went through phases of hating bed sharing and not getting enough sleep at all. There were also times when I loved it and it helped me sleep a lot. These days sharing a bed sucks because he's getting stronger and kicks a lot. However, he's also getting to be a much better sleeper so most nights he sleeps in his crib all night (except still waking to eat).

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Does anyone else not enjoy bed sharing, yet has to?

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