How Much Stock Do You Take in Bumpies' Replies/Advice?

StrawberryAlarmClock · February 2011

I'm sure the consensus will be "it depends on the situation & the advice". Whether you're asking for advice or not, do you tend to trust other Bumpies' integrity? Do you follow the advice if it resonates with your instincts? Do you assume most Bumpies are just on here for entertainment and take their comments with a grain of salt? Do you give credence to the "It takes a village" philosophy and incorporate other moms' experiences into your parenting decisions? Again, I'm sure it all just depends, but as a general rule, how much do you take to heart?

CinnamonBun · February 2011

It depends on the Bumpie honestly. There are certain Bumpies that I really trust and I feel are pretty right on. I do believe in "it takes a village."

nekorayne · February 2011

CinnamonBun:
It depends on the Bumpie honestly. There are certain Bumpies that I really trust and I feel are pretty right on. I do believe in "it takes a village."

I agree.

There are some mamas on here who I really mesh with and I trust them. I don't know them IRL, but I feel I do because I share common beliefs with them and they seem to have their head on straight. I would trust the advice from them for the most part, as long as it felt right to me still.

On the other hand some mamas may not mesh with my beliefs or cause a lot of drama. Not that those mamas are bad or anything, but I may question the advice simply because it may not be right for our family.

Sometimes you need advice from unbiased people. Maybe you don't feel comfortable talking to real life friends or family. The bump is good for that. My main rule is to always make sure I only follow advice that feels right in my heart. I also guess it depends on the topic the advice is about as well. I would never do something that felt wrong to me just because everyone else on the bump (or anywhere really...) was doing it

daenikoffre · February 2011

Like pp, I agree with "it takes a village", but when giving or receiving advice, I keep in mind that every momma know her baby best.

horizon1322 · February 2011

I definitely turn to moms on here for advice in certain situations, in part because it's one of the best resources I have for a wide range of moms. If advice given completely conflicts with my instincts, I probably won't take it regardless of the Bumpie, though certain Bumpies might make me rethink my instincts in some situations if I've agreed with them a lot in the past. A lot of times, I turn to the Bump for reassurance on a decision I've already mostly made. I strongly believe that moms need to help other moms, be it on the internet or IRL.

pepomntpat · February 2011

It depends on who it is, the tone of the conversation. I do value the opinions of some members. I get a lot of information, varied experiences and ideas that make me think. Other times I just read for the fun of it.

kacelle · February 2011

I take a lot of stock in the replies if I'm asking for recommendations on a product or suggestions for a product. Anything related to parenting though, I take with a grain of salt. Every family is different, and the advice may be great for one family, but totally unhelpful for mine.

superMiller · February 2011

I think it depends on the tone of the message. Sometimes you can tell your post hits a nerve with someone and they're responding defensively as opposed to giving real advice or information.

And which board I've posted on. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but I trust the AP, breastfeeding, natural birthers, etc. more than 3-6 months or my birth month mom's typically because they reflect my parenting philosophy more. I once posted the same info on natural birth and my birth month. The NB mom's were so positive and supportive, the others were...NOT.

erinkate23 · February 2011

CinnamonBun:
It depends on the Bumpie honestly. There are certain Bumpies that I really trust and I feel are pretty right on. I do believe in "it takes a village."

StrawberryAlarmClock · February 2011

fredalina:
A lot actually. Obviously i'm not going to post on the Bump while my child bleeds profusely from a head wound, but if it's basic parenting advice, "anyone's child do this", type thing, i generally trust the advice.

Even the snarky posters (which i am in some situations) i listen to their comments. They may be blunt but that doesn't mean they're wrong.

i will never listen to the Bump more than i do my own instincts, people i know and trust IRL, or especially my pediatrician, but i've learned plenty from the Bump so far and i'm sure i will continue to do so.

Funny. You're one of the Bumpies whose advice I take to heart.

StrawberryAlarmClock · February 2011

kacelle:
I take a lot of stock in the replies if I'm asking for recommendations on a product or suggestions for a product. Anything related to parenting though, I take with a grain of salt. Every family is different, and the advice may be great for one family, but totally unhelpful for mine.

Yes! Especially wraps & CDs. I'd be using a Bj?rn & gDiapers if it weren't for TB since that's what's available at BRU & Target. ::cringe::

StrawberryAlarmClock · February 2011

superMiller:
I think it depends on the tone of the message. Sometimes you can tell your post hits a nerve with someone and they're responding defensively as opposed to giving real advice or information.
And which board I've posted on. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but I trust the AP, breastfeeding, natural birthers, etc. more than 3-6 months or my birth month mom's typically because they reflect my parenting philosophy more. I once posted the same info on natural birth and my birth month. The NB mom's were so positive and supportive, the others were...NOT.

Not rude at all. It makes total sense. I agree with many moms on the age boards on many topics but you will also get a lot of advice that goes in one ear out the other (in one eye & out the other????)

LouiseB2001 · February 2011

StrawberryAlarmClock:
fredalina:
A lot actually. Obviously i'm not going to post on the Bump while my child bleeds profusely from a head wound, but if it's basic parenting advice, "anyone's child do this", type thing, i generally trust the advice.
Even the snarky posters (which i am in some situations) i listen to their comments. They may be blunt but that doesn't mean they're wrong.
i will never listen to the Bump more than i do my own instincts, people i know and trust IRL, or especially my pediatrician, but i've learned plenty from the Bump so far and i'm sure i will continue to do so.
Funny. You're one of the Bumpies whose advice I take to heart.

I was going to say something similar :-) Fred, you always put things with a bit of humor and occasional (fair) snarkiness, which I think make quality posts.

It is the one thing I love about the AP forum (and I have given up on all other forums except BF on occasion) that you get to know one another and each other's views. That means that I trust some of you guys a lot more than some of my IRL friends (who don't have kids for example or who just don't think similarly). I got the best advice here about bringing DD to Europe for an interview once. Everyone else said I shouldn't but it was the best decision EVER (even though I didn't get the job). That said, I have also once gotten the most sweet supportive tear-jearking answer from someone unknown to me over at the BF forum. (and again I followed the advise and is happier because of that).

Kersbear · February 2011

daenikoffre:
Like pp, I agree with "it takes a village", but when giving or receiving advice, I keep in mind that every momma know her baby best.

This. It also depends on the person and if it feels "right" to me. If instinctively it doesn't then it's just not for me.

Tonya_G · February 2011

It depends on the topic and the Bumpie. I tend to do my own research on things, but there are things that have been brought up by Bumpies I "trust" that I've later researched for myself and determined them to be something vaild.

Then, there are also bumpies who I wouldn't believe what they said if they said the sky is blue. B/c they're just that.. yeah, that.

Army_Wife_04 · February 2011

I don't post often, I am a little shy I guess, but I do come on quite a bit and find posts I relate to. Depending on the topic and the response, and sometimes the bumpie, I will trust that response because it helps to know how others handle similar things I am dealing with. I also believe it takes a village to raise a child and since I move around a lot, and live far away from my family, it helps to have other opinions or advise. I always do my own research of course, and I follow my own instincts, but I do value some bumpies opinions on here.

Lol, even my DH will ask, "what does the bump say?" sometimes! I definitely come onto this board for all of my questions and the advise I get is helpful and in line with my parenting style.

TabithaGoins · February 2011

It depends on the bumpie alot of times, and the board I'm on. I only go on this board now, but the tri-boards were a different story. Confused

I do alot of research on my own as well. I think most of the woman on this board are level headed and are a good resource.

StrawberryAlarmClock · February 2011

Army_Wife_04:
I don't post often, I am a little shy I guess, but I do come on quite a bit and find posts I relate to. Depending on the topic and the response, and sometimes the bumpie, I will trust that response because it helps to know how others handle similar things I am dealing with. I also believe it takes a village to raise a child and since I move around a lot, and live far away from my family, it helps to have other opinions or advise. I always do my own research of course, and I follow my own instincts, but I do value some bumpies opinions on here.
Lol, even my DH will ask, "what does the bump say?" sometimes! I definitely come onto this board for all of my questions and the advise I get is helpful and in line with my parenting style.

Haha. DH always asks about TB.

if I mention something he's never heard of, he makes up a s/n and says, "Did ChocoholicMommy tell you that?" LOL

KateLouise · February 2011

I treat the ideas shared on the bump the same as I treat any idea or "information" I come across form anyone other than a trusted health professional.

I listen to it, I consider it I think about how it fits in with my own philosophies, experiences, situation and take the ideas that fit with what will work for my family.

Sometimes I come across an idea that relaly challenges my own assumptions and I take the time to do some further reading or thinking, and either rturn to my original stance or alter my thinking and sometimes behaviours.

I apply this approach to any subjective ideas I come across whether it's from my Mum, a magazine article, a blog, my friends, colleagues or the bump.

Some people are very alligned with my own thoughts and so I seek out their ideas, but generallly I'm happy to hear a really wide range of experiences and opinions because I'm never afraid to hear it all and then make my own decision.

kacelle · February 2011

StrawberryAlarmClock:
kacelle:
I take a lot of stock in the replies if I'm asking for recommendations on a product or suggestions for a product. Anything related to parenting though, I take with a grain of salt. Every family is different, and the advice may be great for one family, but totally unhelpful for mine.
Yes! Especially wraps & CDs. I'd be using a Bj?rn & gDiapers if it weren't for TB since that's what's available at BRU & Target. ::cringe::

So true for me as well! Wraps and CDs are the things I find myself asking for Bumpies' opinions on the most. Particularly because no one I know IRL uses either!

americanada · February 2011

i follow the advice that is the closest to what my own instincts tell me. i guess i just look for reassurance. if i want real advice, i come to the AP board b/c the philosophy is closest to my own. i trust the advice on this board more than my IRL friends b/c my IRL friends are not AP and would give me advice that goes against what i believe. so, in that respect, yes, i look to you girls more than my friends outside of cyberland.

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