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Pregnant after a Loss
Clerk9
member
s/o Wood Paneling (NPgALR)
Clerk9
member
Since it seemed to generate some interest, here's the scoop on our wood paneling:
The house we're living in now was MIL's house growing up. Her father built it. Complete with fashion-of-the-moment wood paneling. (At least it's REAL wood paneling!) After her father passed away, MIL inherited the house, which they rented out for years until DH & I moved down here.
Here's the problem--MIL LOOOVES the wood paneling. She has told us that we can do anything we want to the house, but would really prefer if we didn't touch the wood paneling because it reminds her of her childhood, father, etc.
Ugh.
It's not even like I have one of those b*tchy MILs you just want to spite. The woman is a total saint. And because I know she'd let us paint it if we wanted to, & because I know it'd break her heart if we did, I haven't had the intestinal fortitude to do it. Oh, I already have a paint scheme: camel walls in the living room, light gray walls in the hallway, white moldings all around. I even thought about doing just a paint wash instead of opaque paint so that the wood grain would show through & would maybe make it more acceptable to her. It'd be BEAUTIFUL. But. I. can't. do. it.
So, there you go. The story behind our dingy walls. I'm still working out some kind of excuse that we just HAVE to get them painted (maybe say that I want to be sure the walls are safe for LO???), but the project is on hiatus until further notice.
I'm sure this is waaaay more than anyone cared to know, but it makes me feel SO much better just to get that out of my system!!!
And may the interior design gods always smile upon you... 
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Re: s/o Wood Paneling (NPgALR)
Oh boy, that's a tough one. Any chance DH will take the blame and say he really wants to change it? I'd say try to live with it but my friend went through the same thing and it was horrible for her. She eventually changed things and though MIL was a bit hurt, she got over it.
Saying it wouldn't be safe for LO might hurt feelings even more, but it does sound like a good idea in theory.
Good luck. I don't think there's an easy answer.
Who owns the house?
If you guys own the house, I would paint/take it down. It's nice for memories, but memories are going to lower the value of the house. I've never heard anyone walk into a house and say "ooooh! wood paneling! Just what I was hoping for!"
If she owns the house, then I would send DH to plead with her, saying that the wood paneling isn't your guys' style, and that you'd like to have a space you are comfortable in and can decorate to your style so you can create new memories in the house.
Anyway possibility of staining the wood a different color? Would that help to lower the "OMG wood paneling!" visual when you first walk into the house?
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
bfp 01/23/10 m/c 12w1d 03/14/10 EDD 09/24/10
bfp 07/20/10 m/c 5w1d 07/25/10
bfp 11/19/10 Born 07/24/11 via C/S
My Forever Sister From Another Mister~CashewsMommy!!
I'm so relieved that you ladies can understand my stress over this!
It actually gets even more complex: MIL is the technical owner of the house right now. But she intends to leave it to DH as an inheritance. So it's kind of hers & kind of ours. We are planning on living here temporarily (for an undetermined amount of time--no rent or mortgage is hard to turn down!), but I think DH might ultimately like to really renovate this place (or build a new house here) & make it more permanent. So everything is up in the air at the moment.
The bedrooms are a different kind of wood paneling (horizontal--looks like hardwood floors--on the walls AND ceiling...I swear, they wiped out a rainforest to build this house) & they're already painted all white. It looks GREAT--just like a little cottage! And it brightens up the rooms SOOO much. So I actually have come to love the look of painted wood paneling, & I think it would make this house really sparkle.
DH has told me I can go ahead & paint the walls. And I know that MIL would let us & never say a word to us about it. But I'd always feel guilty without her explicit blessing...
However, I did get a sanding machine for my birthday this year. And it would be such a waste to not use it...
So the struggle continues. You bet your sweet jabippy that I will post pictures if I ever make headway. In the meantime, I may need to invest in one of those professional photography backgrounds for BPF purposes. (Autumnal leaves? Clouds? Some vaguely blotchy neutral color pattern?)
Thank you for making me feel better, ladies! I really do appreciate it!!!
No? Hmmmm....I swear I heard that somewhere.
May be you could paint most of the wall and frame a little if it unpainted so that it would look like a picture they sorta do something like that with straw bale houses so you can see the straw which is what made me think of it other wise I would talk about doing a really light color wash that would leave the wood grain and what not exsposed but lighten up the space. or wait and let your LO draw on it with markers and then you'll have to paint it.
Thank you...these are all great ideas!!!
I had looked into staining the walls instead of painting them, but it seems like it'd be a lot more of an involved process (& probably more expensive). That was when I first came up with the paint wash idea which, I agree, would maybe be a good compromise. (And with paint I think it'd be easier to sand down & restain if we left & MIL wanted to revert to that.)
For example, I looove this color scheme (with the brown maybe having some more yellowish undertones to make it more of a camel color):
Gorgeous, right?!?
Maybe if I just showed MIL some pictures she'd warm to the idea. If she didn't I'm afraid I'd have to let it go...sigh. I am just so grateful that she's let us stay here without having to pay anything but utilities. She & FIL (& DH somewhat) put a lot of work into getting this place up to the condition that it's in currently before DH & I moved in (the previous tenants pretty much trashed it). So I'd hate to repay her generosity by altering it in a way that made her unhappy (even though, like I said, she'd never explicitly ask us not to or complain if we did).
I've given up on it for a few months now, but think I may have to revisit the issue because it's bad enough that it makes me so unmotivated to do ANYTHING else with the house (nothing is on the walls, no window dressings are up, & I'm not even completely unpacked from September!). We really can't have people over to visit with it the way it is now. (There's also the matter of the hardwood floors which, in the living & dining room, have fake parquet tiles stuck down across the whole thing. Well, almost the whole thing. A number of them have come unglued. I wanted to rip them all off & just paint the floors. DH wants to stain them. We may compromise on wall-to-wall carpeting. Another battle for another day.)
And if you've read through all of my excruciatingly long posts on this subject, you definitely deserve:
P.S. Shanna, you are SO sweet for suggesting that maybe we're just hipper than we think we are. I think I have seen a resurgence in wood paneling, too. But not like this...these are sad, sad walls.
The stain/varnish/shellac/whatever is wearing off so there are dull patches & shiny patches...it really needs to be experienced to be fully understood! But thank you again, anyway...I appreciate the gesture! 