I just made the call to find out about our last embryo. It didn't make it to freeze. I didn't expect it to but I still was hoping. Well I didn't know how awful it was going to make me feel. I feel like IF has won and I am done. I know I still don't know the outcome of this cycle. But I don't feel as confident now. Why should I, I have failed twice before. Sorry to be such a downer, I just need a shoulder to lean on or a dark hole to hide for a bit.

Thanks for listening.
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Re: Feel defeated
Diagnosed PCOS 2/07, TTC #1 since 8/09
11/10 - Clomid Round 1 = BFN
12/10 - Clomid Round 2 = BFN
1/11 - Voluntary Break = BFN (duh)
2/11 - Clomid Round 3 = BFN
3/11 - Femara + IUI = BFP * Beta#1=56 * Beta#2=266
*Cautiously expecting baby girls on November 28, 2011*
TTC Since 2/2009
2/2010 - 5/2010 Testing with OBGYN
8/2010 First RE Appointment
11/2010 Second Opinion RE Appointment
12/2010 Clomid + IUI #1 = BFN
1/2011 Clomid + IUI #2 = BFN
2/2011 Clomid + IUI #3 = BFN
5/2011 IVF #1, ET 6/2, Beta 6/15 = BFN
8/2011 FET ET 9/12 = BFN :0(
On a break to save money.
1/2012 IVF #2 ER 1/12, ET 1/15, Beta 1/27 = BFFN
4/2012 FET ET ??/?? =
p/saif welcome
Thanks sweetie.
1/11: IUI #2 = 5mg Femara + trigger + IUI = BFN
2/11: IUI #3 = injectibles + trigger + IUI = BFN
IVF #1 April 2011 ER 4/23 w/16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 11 fert., 4 blasts to freeze, 5dt of 2 blasts on 4/28, beta #1 5/7 = 243... beta #2 5/9 = 491....beta #3 5/11 = 1113!!
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~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
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TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
IVF #1 - Start stims (Follistim) 5/10, add in Ganirelix 5/14
ER 5/21 - 13 retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilized; ET 5/26 - transferred one perfect 1AA blast. 3 snowbabies.
Beta 6/3 - 15.8; Beta 6/7 - 21.8; Beta 6/10 - 7
FET - Transferred 1 AA blast 7/11. Beta 7/20 - 311! Beta 7/22 - 784!! First u/s 8/10
*~PAIFW/SAIFW~*
I am so sorry, Beth. I've got everything crossed that this cycle does the trick.
((hugs))
**TTC since 10/2009** **BFP 4/15/12- Dx Molar Pregnancy- Surgery 5/15/12 & 5/22/12** **BFP 1/23/14- 1st Beta (1/24/14) 171 2nd Beta (1/28/14) 860**
Beth I am so sorry about the embryo. IF can really suck the life out of us. I find with IF, every step I take forward is followed by two steps backward. It's hard to stay positive but don't give up hope!!!
IVF #1 = BFN
FET #1 = BFN
FET #2 = BFN
IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
~~
TTC again March 2014
FET #3 - May/June 2014 - all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
IVF #4 - July/August 2014