How do you bring this up with DH?

poolrat00 · February 2011

So I've felt really off lately. Stopped BF about a month ago and feel even worse. Like I can't catch up, on work, on housework, on sleep, on anything, like I'm constantly behind. Today I hit a wall and had a melt down to where I had to go into the gym/dining hall and just throw things. Do you know how great it feels to throw a yoga ball across a dining hall? Anyways, I had thoughts and memories that scared me. I got into the shower and DH brought me a glass of wine and noticed I had the water just on hot. It stung, but I was so hyped up on emotions I didn't fully feel it. (Note: Our water heater is set low, the washer was going, and DH was doing dishes so the water couldn't get that hot.) I realized today I was acting a lot like I did in college when I faced some depression. How do I talk to DH about it? Or should I just do what I am more comfortable with which is to go to the DR, get advice, THEN confront DH? Ugh.

Mrs.Saxy · February 2011

when I felt depressed I told my DH that I suspected it and I plan to go to the doctor to discuss it.

My DH is the type of person who doesn't understand illness and thinks people who need medicine just can't handle all of their problems. Though he believes that, he still supports me in taking the medicine.

When I was DX with depression the 2nd time...recently while PG, I told him. He asked me why I thought that and I said that I just don't care that the house is a mess though it ticks me off. I have many times just broken down and cried without knowing why. DH just said, "OK".

pug86 · February 2011

I was terrified of telling my DH back when we were dating that I struggled with depression. He was not sure how to handle it or what to do.

The best thing I've armed him with is the knowing the signs. And we have a key sentence that he can tell me if he thinks my anxiety/depression has gone too far. Sometimes when I am really in it, its hard to see clearly.

He also knows the stats on PPD. Heck, if it wasn't so common or such a big deal, they wouldn't require a PPD test/interview before you leave the hospital (and, by us, another 6 months later as well).

Some guys also respond better if you talk to them about it in terms of science and not in feelings. Go on Youtube (all guys respond to TV, right? LOL) and find a good tutorial/explanation on how depression in our brains work and why medicine is, in many cases, necessary.

Finally, find some good girlfriends/moms to confide in. Its nice to talk to someone who will understand and it takes some of the pressure off of DH. Some DHs will blame themselves or think its hopeless.

Best wishes!

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