Multiples

"I think every mom wishes for twins"

I've been getting this comment at lot lately, and it makes me feel odd. 

When we were trying to get pg, went through the first pg and m/c and then tried and succeeded in getting pg again, not once did I think "I hope I get twins!".  Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind - which is why I suppose we were so very shocked. 

So I guess I don't know how to respond, in casual conversation with strangers, when they say this without coming off completely ungrateful for having my two perfect and unexpected little girls.  So ladies, how do you respond to this?

bfp 5/17/09 - missed m/c 6/17/09 @ 9w - stopped growing 6w 1d, D&C 6/19/09
BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
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Re: "I think every mom wishes for twins"

  • Ummmmmm, no.  They only say that because of the idea of having twins.  Most people think i am crazy when i say i have 4 kids, two of which are twins all under 5 years old.  ;)  i love my twins, and i love all of my kids but this was unexpected.  I just say it is a lot of work and be careful what you wish for.  ;)
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  • Ok... so I am one of "the ones" that said they wanted twins.

    I said it in high school.

    DH and my BF CLAIM I said it when we were first married (I got PG our 4th year of marriage).  But I truly don't remember saying that.

    I think the statement "every mom wishes for twins" is odd...because I know several who have never had that thought cross their mind.  But when people say to me "I always wanted twins" I just smile.  Because at one point, my judgement was completely clouded and I did too! Wink

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  • I love my kids but anyone that thinks they want twins should come spend a week at my house.  I often think that they should send the high school sex ed to my class for a few days...none of those kids would have sex for years.
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  • imagetogagirl:
    I love my kids but anyone that thinks they want twins should come spend a week at my house.  I often think that they should send the high school sex ed to my class for a few days...none of those kids would have sex for years.

    HAHAHAHA  LOVE this!!!



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    Spontaneous Di/Di twin boys born at 34 weeks on 02/21/2011
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  • Really?

    I wished for twins, but it was only because of my IF issues.... if I were a "normal" fertile I would love to do it the old fashioned way and savor my babies one at a time.

     

    Me: PCOs DH: Perfect!
    4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
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  • images270453:

    imagetogagirl:
    I love my kids but anyone that thinks they want twins should come spend a week at my house.  I often think that they should send the high school sex ed to my class for a few days...none of those kids would have sex for years.

    HAHAHAHA  LOVE this!!!

    Yes, except it's supposed to say the high school sex ed class to my house...see I have no brain from these kids!

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  • imageOrangeSmoke:

    Really?

    I wished for twins, but it was only because of my IF issues.... if I were a "normal" fertile I would love to do it the old fashioned way and savor my babies one at a time.

     

    This too!  I knew I would be 1 and done - so I'm very glad I got the BOGO special :)

  • imagetogagirl:
    I love my kids but anyone that thinks they want twins should come spend a week at my house.  I often think that they should send the high school sex ed to my class for a few days...none of those kids would have sex for years.

    This exactly!  My now 20 year old sister came with me and my mom to register for the babies and made a comment about how she was making a mental list of all the things she'd want for her baby.  Just yesterday when we were up at my mom's house, she spent about an hour with us then made a comment about needing to get her BCP's refilled!  Good girl :)

    bfp 5/17/09 - missed m/c 6/17/09 @ 9w - stopped growing 6w 1d, D&C 6/19/09
    BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
    Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
    Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
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  • imagejayandjuliecruz:
    Ummmmmm, no.  They only say that because of the idea of having twins.  Most people think i am crazy when i say i have 4 kids, two of which are twins all under 5 years old.  ;)  i love my twins, and i love all of my kids but this was unexpected.  I just say it is a lot of work and be careful what you wish for.  ;)

    I'm filing that away for future use! 

    bfp 5/17/09 - missed m/c 6/17/09 @ 9w - stopped growing 6w 1d, D&C 6/19/09
    BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
    Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
    Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    The Bump MoM Recipe Collection
  • when i was younger, sure, i thought twins would be neat. and then when i got older, i had a friend with twins. it was very rough for her, and after that, i definitely DID NOT want twins.

    har-dee-har-har said the universe. Stick out tongue

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    How to tell my boys apart

    The different types of twins and triplets
     
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  • imagepea-kay:

    when i was younger, sure, i thought twins would be neat. and then when i got older, i had a friend with twins. it was very rough for her, and after that, i definitely DID NOT want twins.

    har-dee-har-har said the universe. Stick out tongue

    LOL This falls under the 'we make plans and God laughs' category.  I bet you don't get much "I always wished for triplet boys"

     

    bfp 5/17/09 - missed m/c 6/17/09 @ 9w - stopped growing 6w 1d, D&C 6/19/09
    BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
    Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
    Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    The Bump MoM Recipe Collection
  • Interesting! I have had people tell me they always wanted twins, but I don't remember anyone ever trying to tell me that EVERY mom wishes for twins. That's silly. I didn't. ;)
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • I wished for twins, when I was 13.

    Honestly, I love it and after my boys were born, I would have agreed to do it again. Our finances not so much... and I realize that I had a totally uncomplicated pregnancy, which was half luck. But if I had found out that this one was twins I wouldn't have had a heart attack.

    I was happy that this was a singleton though. And this one has been unending drama. I originally wanted 4 kids, but there is no way now. Who would have thought that a singleton would crush me?

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  • I've found that everyone who says they want twins doesn't have kids.  Most people with kids say they'd kill themselves.

    I knew twins was a possibility for us, but I never "wished" for them.

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  • Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd have twins. A girl stopped me at the mall today. She had a 4 month old, and she flat out told me that she has a twin sister and she wishes she would have had twins!!! I wonder if I looked as surprised/shocked as I felt. LOL
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  • I've only had a handful of people tell me that they want twins. One was a nursing student in Special Care while the girls were there.

    Twins were only on my radar because my family had been joking for years that I would have twins or triplets. It was just one of those joking things that I think they used to keep me from having sex. Stick out tongue

    We were all shocked when I found out.

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  • I had someon tell me recently that she wanted twins or triplets, but it felt like she was  trying to 'one up ' me.  I filed it under ' stupid things people say'.

  • imageamanda31H:

    Ok... so I am one of "the ones" that said they wanted twins.

    I said it in high school.

    DH and my BF CLAIM I said it when we were first married (I got PG our 4th year of marriage).  But I truly don't remember saying that.

    I think the statement "every mom wishes for twins" is odd...because I know several who have never had that thought cross their mind.  But when people say to me "I always wanted twins" I just smile.  Because at one point, my judgement was completely clouded and I did too! Wink

    I recall saying I wanted B/G twins in HS, because I thought it would be fun to dress them in matching sailor suits. A totally normal reason for wanting twins.  17 year old logic...

    When people say things to me about wanting twins, I say that while I would never trade this experience for anything in the world, I certainly wouldn't wish for it either. 

    Oh, and I am totally getting matching sailor suits this spring.

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  • imageJosiePosy:

    I've only had a handful of people tell me that they want twins. One was a nursing student in Special Care while the girls were there.

    Twins were only on my radar because my family had been joking for years that I would have twins or triplets. It was just one of those joking things that I think they used to keep me from having sex. Stick out tongue

    We were all shocked when I found out.


    The nurse in my OBs office would tell me that she always wanted twins when I came in for appointments. I just assumed that other people who said this were clueless and imagined cute matching outfits, but this one always perplexed me because she should know better.

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  • I think I only every wished for twins in passing, like, "oh, yeah, twins, that would be cool" but never really thinking about the logistics.

    Then when the doc prescribed clomid and said there was an increased chance of twins we briefly discussed it (thinking oh, that'll never happen) and decided that we wanted a child very badly and if we got two, then great!  

    We were actually quite surprised to see two heartbeats on that first ultrasound, but just felt doubly blessed....let's talk again when they're two months old!  ;o) 

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  • imageMrsLnt:
    imageamanda31H:

    Ok... so I am one of "the ones" that said they wanted twins.

    I said it in high school.

    DH and my BF CLAIM I said it when we were first married (I got PG our 4th year of marriage).  But I truly don't remember saying that.

    I think the statement "every mom wishes for twins" is odd...because I know several who have never had that thought cross their mind.  But when people say to me "I always wanted twins" I just smile.  Because at one point, my judgement was completely clouded and I did too! Wink

    I recall saying I wanted B/G twins in HS, because I thought it would be fun to dress them in matching sailor suits. A totally normal reason for wanting twins.  17 year old logic...

    When people say things to me about wanting twins, I say that while I would never trade this experience for anything in the world, I certainly wouldn't wish for it either. 

    Oh, and I am totally getting matching sailor suits this spring.

    LMAO! 

    The reason I wanted twins is on TV as we speak (well...the recent version.) I grew up watching Haley Mills in The Parent Trap. 

    Go figure I'd end up with ID girls.  Don't you know that was the first "baby" gift my Dad got me?  Big Smile

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  • imageAlishaMay:
    imagepea-kay:

    when i was younger, sure, i thought twins would be neat. and then when i got older, i had a friend with twins. it was very rough for her, and after that, i definitely DID NOT want twins.

    har-dee-har-har said the universe. Stick out tongue

    LOL This falls under the 'we make plans and God laughs' category.  I bet you don't get much "I always wished for triplet boys"

    yeah, no one ever wishes for triplets. i was just lucky! Big Smile

    image
    How to tell my boys apart

    The different types of twins and triplets
     
    Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
    My blog * We made the national news!
    image
  • imagetogagirl:
    I love my kids but anyone that thinks they want twins should come spend a week at my house.  I often think that they should send the high school sex ed to my class for a few days...none of those kids would have sex for years.

    I have absolutely thought all of this!! Sh!t I don't want to have sex anymore!

    I had a new Mom tell me at a playgroup that she was jealous I had twins because she wanted twins badly and thought they would be "so cool".  As I'm struggling with Nathan who was crying and Ryan was fussing on the floor, I gave her this look  Hmm and flat out told her she was crazy. I was in a bit of a crap mood that day and proceeded to tell her to just be thankful for the beautiful little girl she did have and that she thinks the "romanticized" version of twins would be cool. The reality version of twins is not a walk in the park.

    I never wished for twins. That was the furthest thing from my mind when we got pregnant. I remember the ultrasound at 6 weeks when we found out about the twins. It was an urgent scan to determine viability (my GP thought I was miscarrying) and I wasn't permitted to see or hear any of the scan. The techs told me the radiologist would read the u/s and report it to my GP, who would let me know the outcome later that day. I distinctly remember getting into the truck with DH and saying "If Dr. Moore calls me today and tells me the "babies" are fine -- I'll fcking die."   Indifferent  Sure enough -- 2 hours later I got the phone call and she told me instead of m/c'ing I was expecting twins. I cried for days.

     

    ETA: I just re-read my post. I'm coming across like a complete a$$hole. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I do feel pretty lucky (most days -haha) that we have our twins. It's been a rough few days around my house!

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  • imagepea-kay:

    when i was younger, sure, i thought twins would be neat. and then when i got older, i had a friend with twins. it was very rough for her, and after that, i definitely DID NOT want twins.

    har-dee-har-har said the universe. Stick out tongue


    Pea-kay, you crack me up.

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  • My first response would be to laugh in their face and tell them they're crazypants.

    My actual response would be to smile and nod. 

    When DH and I went in for our L&D tour, there was a guy there would would.not.leave.us.alone.  He and his wife were expecting their first child and he kept saying how much he wanted twins and how fun it would be and what did we do to get twins.  We answered him, but it was awkward and weird.

    Not to mention that everytime he asked about having twins, his wife, who was out of his eyesight, would shake her head "No" violently then look at him with a "Excusemewhatnow?" look on her face. 

    imageimage 

    image

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  • imageOrangeSmoke:

    Really?

    I wished for twins, but it was only because of my IF issues.... if I were a "normal" fertile I would love to do it the old fashioned way and savor my babies one at a time.

     

     

    I prayed for twins due to a 6 year battle with IF and wanting them to have each other if I didn't get preggers again. That being said my hubby told me for 9 years we were gonna have twins. Now when people tell me I am gonna have trips next, or worse my BIL sayiong quints I tell them to stop jinxing me. I adore my girls but I would love a normal non high risk pregnancy! So would our families finances!!!!!!

  • imageOrangeSmoke:

    Really?

    I wished for twins, but it was only because of my IF issues.... if I were a "normal" fertile I would love to do it the old fashioned way and savor my babies one at a time.

    Exactly the same for me. After going through our IF issues, DH and I hoped for twins because ultimately we wanted two kids, but we also decided that if God gave us one that would be great too. Either way, we were not going to go through infertility treatments again. Once was, by far, enough. And since getting pregnant naturally couldn't be guaranteed, we hoped to have two on the first go round so our family would be "complete." God obviously heard our prayers loud and clear!!!!

    photo 41f1f21b-fd5b-40ab-bc31-76a13e270270_zpscf391ac9.jpg
    After 2 years, Injects, PCOS diagnosis and 2 IUI's, we were blessed with our beautiful twin girls!
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  • I wanted twins after years of IF as well. Some of my friends wanted twins too but only before they had kids. Now when people tell me they want(ed) twins I say "Yeah they're great." but I think, "Yeah you're nuts"
  • I never in my life wanted twins.  My mom use to joke that I would end up with twins (there are 7 sets of frats on my mom's side).  I got my twins, using IVF.  I still didn't believe the Dr. when he told me I had around a 25% chance- my DH was so sure that it was going to be twins.... So when I went to the u/s and the RE excitedly said " I knew it, its twins" and flipped the screen around to show me- I saw two liitle flickering blobs.  I said the first thing that popped into my head " My husband is going to die."

    I have no idea what I would say to anyone who said that.

  • imagecinema_goddess:

    My first response would be to laugh in their face and tell them they're crazypants.

    My actual response would be to smile and nod. 

    When DH and I went in for our L&D tour, there was a guy there would would.not.leave.us.alone.  He and his wife were expecting their first child and he kept saying how much he wanted twins and how fun it would be and what did we do to get twins.  We answered him, but it was awkward and weird.

    Not to mention that everytime he asked about having twins, his wife, who was out of his eyesight, would shake her head "No" violently then look at him with a "Excusemewhatnow?" look on her face. 

    I hope you told him you used the twin position and ate lots of yams.  

    image
  • imageOrangeSmoke:

    Really?

    I wished for twins, but it was only because of my IF

    THIS!!! I really was happy that it was twins after all the crap I went through and I even said to my husband when we were at my ET that I better get twins so I don't have to go through this again. LOL well I got twins and I went back for another when the twins were 3 months old!

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  • I wished for twins. I had such a hard time keeping pregnancies i felt that if i got 2 at the same time id be done and not have to worry about trying in the future. My first pregnancy i was blessed with just one but always felt sad the other embryo didnt take.

    This go around i also struggled and went through much heartache. I always wanted 3 kids and i knew the only way that was going to happen was to have twins. Now that i know how hard parenthood is, im nervous about the twins, but so looking forward to the adventure and the chaos :) I feel completely blessed since i never thought this EVER was going to happen and now im going to have 3!

  • I was also one of those secretly hoping for twins after the infertility and losses.  DH and I wanted 2 kids so that we didn't have an "only child".  DH is 43 now and I didn't want him to be retired before our youngest went to college.  So I'm happy about the twins.  I also am not sure I could go through IF treatments again.....so I feel pretty blessed to have them.  I know it'll be crazy (and I'm not thrilled about the twin pregnancy), but I actually can say I wanted them.
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  • I would just respond with, "they're more work than you'd think, but I wouldn't change it for the world".  I'm sometimes snarky, but not normally, having a smart a$$ response isn't going to change everyone's thinking.  EVEN if you change 1 person''s attitude, you'd have someone different telling you the same thing the next day.
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