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Baby Names
Kendrav4
member
Hurt feelings. Please HELP!
Kendrav4
member
in Baby Names
So we told my father I am pregnant, and he is pretty excited. If this is a boy we plan on naming him Carter, in honor of my best friend who committed suicide. (I am actually due on the anniversary of her death, sort of creepy)
My dad always jokes with me and my siblings about naming our kids after him (his name is Wardell and he has no mn) So he always says if its a girl name it Wardella 
or Milly (his fav name for some reason, he used to call me this when I was little)
He asked me the other day if I had any names picked out and we said Carter for a boy to honor my friend, and possibly Taylor for a girl. Later that night he told my sister he was upset that I would name my son Carter to honor my friend, but wouldn't use one of his names. I am so shocked! I ALWAYS thought he was joking!
I hate Wardella and I hate Milly! I don't want to use either one, but I am sad that my dads feelings are hurt and can kind of see his point. Me and my dad are very close, as he raised me alone. I would love to honor my dad, but he has a horrible name!
Anybody have any suggestions!???
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Re: Hurt feelings. Please HELP!
For a girl you can do mn Mellisa and he can call her Milly. My brother is the only person that calls me Missy and I love that he has his own nn for me.
For a boy you can do Carter Warren.
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Your dad isn't being fair. He named his children, you get to name yours. He shouldn't be expecting you to choose a name to honor him.
You could placate him by using his suggestions for middle names. Or you could use a different version as a middle name since you don't like his choices. Or you could even use a middle name starting with "W." But ultimately, you shouldn't feel guilty if you choose to just name your child whatever you like.
Girl middle name suggestions - Ella, Camille, Amelia, Willow, Adele, Wendy, Wanda, Waverly, Winter
Boy middle name suggestions - Warren, Wade, Walter, Wesley, William, Wyatt
If it's a boy you could go with Carter Wardell or Carter Ward like pp said. It's not so bad as a middle name.
If it's a girl you have tons of options with Milly: Camille/Camilla, Amelia, Matilda, Millicent, Melinda. I think most of those would fit well with Taylor as a first or middle name.
Ditto. You don't owe him an explanation. I'd just leave it alone and name your child how you and your husband want to name him or her.
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I agree- it's egotisitcal of your dad, AND this is your kid, YOU get to name him/her. Get an idea of what you want to do, though, before you talk to him. Talking to him is opening up a can of worms and can lead to more upset feelings, etc.
What if he actually is serious about Wardella? Or what if anything other than the first name wouldn't be in his honor (in his view)?
You've got to be prepared to say "Dad, I love you and none of this is meant to hurt you. This is also about DH too and about US picking a name for our child. I want to take your feelings into account, but I need for you to respect that this is our child and we need to do what works best for us.".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Wardella is terrible, and I think your dad was joking on that one, but I do actually know someone named Ardella after their father Ardell.
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I don't think your dad is being egotistical. I think he was hurt because you're naming your kid after a friend instead of him. I don't think he would be hurt if you came up with a random name that wasn't "in honor" of anyone.
But as everyone else mentioned... I really like Carter Wardell!
I think your dad is being a bit dramatic. It totally makes sense to name a baby after someone who has passed over someone who is still alive.
He is putting you in an unfair position. Name the baby what you want, and don't worry about hurting his feelings (children will hurt their parents' feelings sometimes...part of being an adult is learning to accept that)
I personally love family names as middle names. If there isn't one that you are set one...I love Carter Ward.
However, don't feel like you have to use a name beacuse your dad wants you to. This is your baby and you get naming rights.
GREAT suggestion!! I love Delia!!
My mom went to school with a Johnatha. After her dad. True story.
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I think your dad is being way over dramatic. I never seriously entertained the names that my father liked because this is my baby not his. I had a great relationship with my dad, but I am under no obligation to name my children what he liked. (Since he passed I have considered using his favorite boy name, but haven't been emotionally ready to do it yet.) How come you and your sister aren't Wardella and Millie? He had his chance to use those names and he didn't take it.
I'd consider using your maiden name (his last name) as a mn name for Carter if it flows well.
What about Carter Wardell LN for a boy. I think it flows well and you get to honor your friend and father.
*ETA: I didn't read any of the PPs before commenting. I agree that Carter Ward is another great option. I think you'll figure it all out! GL
For a girl -- You could do "Della" as a name (probably a middle name). Perhaps Millicent as a first or middle name (Milly as the nickname). Or even Melissa as a pp mentioned.
For a boy -- I like one pp's suggestion of Ward.
Hope you go with what you really like (even if it's not naming the baby after anyone).
I like all the PP's suggestions
I just wanted to say I was in a simmilar position with my two children. My dad's name is Harold (yuck) and was very hurt when we told him that we would be naming DS after DH's father. He threw a hissy fit so I compromised and used his MN for one of DS's MN's. That seemed to placate him (although he did ask to see his birth certificate b/c he thought I was lying when I told him I did use it, wierdo.) With DD he threw a simmilar hissy fit that we weren't using the name "Anne" after his mother who had passed the year before. Why he likes to throw hissy fits beats me. We already liked the name Ana or a version of it (Anabelle, Anneliese, etc) because DH's moms name was Anna. So we chose a simmilar MN for DD to honor both sides of the family.
I really like names that are frought with meaning. I can see why my dad would want a grandchild named for him considering he never had any boys. Maybe he just wants you to hold simmilar values as he does?