2nd Trimester

Because im in an irritable cow today...

You know what really pisses me off???  When people want to meet you and hang out with you to talk to you about what you *should* be doing once your baby is born.  Example..

Yesterday my MIL calls me up and asks me to come over because she has a friend who had a baby 11 months ago and she wants to meet me.  I had nothing better to do so I agree.  Little did I know that this was going to be a " I have had one child in my life so I have all the answers and listen to me" intervention.  This lady starts going on and onnn about how I should be stretching my vagina every day, that bedsharing is the only way...to breastfeed until you can't any longer.  The worst one was when she lectured me for 45 minutes about potty training from birth.  She starts saying how diapers are sooo disgusting and that if you actually care about your childs hygene you would start to potty train from birth.  And my MIL is sitting there nodding her head like she has every idea what this woman is talking about, saying stuff like " you should really take her advice"  and " well, shes done research".  

Holymotherfuckingfuck.  I felt like I was in the twilight zone.  Who actually has the time and energy to be training their infant to sh*t in the toilet??  I really want to hear some other stories about crazy advice so I don't feel so alone...

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Re: Because im in an irritable cow today...

  • Not from birth, but DS has been potty trained since about 8 months.  It's called Elimination Communication.  It's pretty stinkin' awesome.  It's like potty training a dog, and to be perfectly honest took no more effort or time than potty training my 2 chihuahuas.

    As for the ambush.  It's stereotypical MIL garbage, isn't it?!?  Seriously, every.single.subject this "veteran mother" gave you advice about is instinctual.  You will know if BF'ing is right for you.  You will know if bedsharing is right for you. 

     

    Prudence
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Otis
     Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Hank 
     
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • That's completely rude and inappropriate. I'd have gotten up and walked out.
  • imageJaysonandKristin:

    Not from birth, but DS has been potty trained since about 8 months.  It's called Elimination Communication.  It's pretty stinkin' awesome.  It's like potty training a dog, and to be perfectly honest took no more effort or time than potty training my 2 chihuahuas.

    As for the ambush.  It's stereotypical MIL garbage, isn't it?!?  Seriously, every.single.subject this "veteran mother" gave you advice about is instinctual.  You will know if BF'ing is right for you.  You will know if bedsharing is right for you. 

     

    See, the problem that I had was not that she wanted to give me information...it was that she was saying things like " if anyone cares about their child they wouldnt let him/her sit around in crap.." that kind of stuff.  Like pretty much saying that anyone who chooses to have their kid in diapers is a bad parent.  Kinda turned me off lol..

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • imageyougrindmygears:

    See, the problem that I had was not that she wanted to give me information...

    Information that you didn't ask for.
  • Wow.  I don't think I'd attend any more of MIL's 'intervention' meetings.  That's one for the memory books.
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
  • hahaha, your post made me laugh out loud but I know what you mean...

    My husband and I just moved here to the US a year ago and while we're still settling in etc, I decided that at almost 31 years of age and with a pending green card, I might as well use the "free" time and have a baby!

    My reasons (and they sound perfect enough reason to me) are that once I get back on the career ladder, I probably won't have time to have a baby until MUCH later and frankly, I don't want to be an older mother!

    Husband is also crazy for kids and def wants kids, he has a 4 year old son already but he and MIL sometimes can't help themselves say "you're mad", or "you have no idea what it's like" and since he's had a horrible experience with his son's mother, he kinda thinks that I'll be whining 24/7, become a nightmare etc - all lightheartedly of course.  I don't blame him - alarmingly, his son is STILL using diapers at 4 years!  Breaks our hearts that DH has almost no control on raising his son and I'm sure she's a good mother deep down but I sure as hell will be doing a hell of a lot more than what I hear of her!

    So what's the point of stressing about hardship now?  There'll be a whole lotta love waiting for my peanut!  I have all the time in the frickin' world to breastfeed, change diapers, wipe off poo, bathe a peanut, play, love - all of it!  And the best thing is I can't wait.

    I really believe that there never is a right time to have babies and if it isn't motivation enough to make it as right as possible for your child, I don't know what is.

    I think my slight annoyance at being painted with the same brush has hit home because I don't hear it much anymore!

    Don't know about her, but there's no such thing as being a lazy Mama in my family - after all, my mother had 9 of us!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageyougrindmygears:
    imageJaysonandKristin:

    Not from birth, but DS has been potty trained since about 8 months.  It's called Elimination Communication.  It's pretty stinkin' awesome.  It's like potty training a dog, and to be perfectly honest took no more effort or time than potty training my 2 chihuahuas.

    As for the ambush.  It's stereotypical MIL garbage, isn't it?!?  Seriously, every.single.subject this "veteran mother" gave you advice about is instinctual.  You will know if BF'ing is right for you.  You will know if bedsharing is right for you. 

     

    See, the problem that I had was not that she wanted to give me information...it was that she was saying things like " if anyone cares about their child they wouldnt let him/her sit around in crap.." that kind of stuff.  Like pretty much saying that anyone who chooses to have their kid in diapers is a bad parent.  Kinda turned me off lol..

    ITA she's a total asshat.  Opinions like that totally enrage me.  Actually, unsolicited advice just turns me off.  

    I think I would have come at her with we plan on FF, CIO from birth and using disposable diapers.  

    Not that there's anything wrong with 'sposies, but they seem to be the exact opposite of elimination communication. 

    Prudence
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Otis
     Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Hank 
     
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • As a bystander, that story is pretty hilarious. I can see how irritating it would be to be a part of the actual conversation though. My MIL's favorite thing to do is judge me for deciding to put our kid in daycare, saying that it's not good for the baby and how it shows we don't care. My response is literally always the same, "And will you be paying my half of the bills if I stay home? If so, I'm game!" Usually shuts her right up...
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • It just really blows my mind.  I just could never imagine going up to someone that I had just met and within an hour of meeting them start talking about how she should stretch her vagina every day.  My god...im only 25 weeks pregnant start stretching now and its going to be like throwing a hot dog in a hallway!!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • BTW, the "irritable cow" title gets a thumbs up x infinity!!
    Prudence
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Otis
     Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Hank 
     
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • Haha- The lady that founded the movement (www.diaperfreebaby.org) in our area actually used to be a host with my Au-Pair agency and if it's any consolation she failed all of her kids...not a single one of them was fully potty trained faster than any other kid that poops in unsanitary diapers...
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Ok, this was really funny reading! But only b.c I have been in the exact situation! Except for the stretching of the vagina, actually I'm on my second child and this is the first I have herd of this. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageJaysonandKristin:

    Not from birth, but DS has been potty trained since about 8 months.  It's called Elimination Communication.  It's pretty stinkin' awesome.  It's like potty training a dog, and to be perfectly honest took no more effort or time than potty training my 2 chihuahuas.

    As for the ambush.  It's stereotypical MIL garbage, isn't it?!?  Seriously, every.single.subject this "veteran mother" gave you advice about is instinctual.  You will know if BF'ing is right for you.  You will know if bedsharing is right for you. 

     

    This, except we did EC with my youngest from 5 months on. I completely agree with it being awesome! :]

    As for that lady...what right does she have telling you what's right for you and your baby? That would of pissed me off! So sorry you had to deal with that...



    Lactavist.Intactivist.Co-Sleeping/Crib using.CDing/ECing.Babywearing.Attachment Parent.BLW. 'Crunchy' Mommy! Both boys' are on the spectrum. Life is busy, but great! Currently carrying my second surro babe. :]
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"