Working Mom

LGraham927 · February 2011

My little one is almost 6 months old and I thought being a working mom would eventually get easier...nope...it seems to get harder as he gets older.

This is my first time posting so I was just venting. Thanks!

This is my little guy! Well, not so little anymore. This was when he was 4 1/2 months but I LOVE this pic!

LittleGus · February 2011

I'm sorry

What is hard about it? I just posted below about wanting to maybe go back! Just doing some research here I guess

CourtneyR2N · February 2011

I agree. It makes me sad every day

aforst · February 2011

Unfortunately, it never really gets easier, for any number of reasons. When I dropped my boys off at daycare the other day, my 3 y/o was being a little sad about me leaving (he's normally ok). When I left I looked back in and saw that he had put his head down and looked like he was going to cry. I cried the whole way to work. It never hurts any less and I never feel any less guilty. I hate that I can't be there for them if they are sad. I just don't ever want them to have to feel that way. I realize this isn't the response you were probably hoping for. I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, I just feel your pain.

LGraham927 · February 2011

Having to leave your child everyday is VERY hard! Feeling like you are constantly missing out on this. My mother watches my son so it's a little harder, but me personally, I wish I could be a SAHM!

LGraham927 · February 2011

aforst:
Unfortunately, it never really gets easier, for any number of reasons. When I dropped my boys off at daycare the other day, my 3 y/o was being a little sad about me leaving (he's normally ok). When I left I looked back in and saw that he had put his head down and looked like he was going to cry. I cried the whole way to work. It never hurts any less and I never feel any less guilty. I hate that I can't be there for them if they are sad. I just don't ever want them to have to feel that way. I realize this isn't the response you were probably hoping for. I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, I just feel your pain.

Not Debbie Downer at all! I sometimes feel like I am a tad dramatic but, it's nice to know that I am not the only one who feels this way.

LGraham927 · February 2011

CourtneyR2N:
I agree. It makes me sad every day

My little ones name is Jackson, too!

CourtneyR2N · February 2011

CaraM01:
I'm sorry What is hard about it? I just posted below about wanting to maybe go back! Just doing some research here I guess

For me it is not being there. Spending so very little time with him each day. We get about 30 minutes before we leave in the morning, and most of that is me rushing around getting the two of us dressed and packed and out the door. Then I get 2 hours tops in the evening before he goes to sleep. And that includes a meal and bath time. Basically 90% of the time I am with him he is asleep

I find myself dragging out his bed time so that I can spend more time with him.

bmqcmg · February 2011

I feel like it gets harder every day as well.

crazygame · February 2011

I cried this morning about having to take my daughter to day care. I have been back to work for a month, but this week is my first full time, five day week. I know she is fine at day care, but I just wanted to spend time with her. I feel like I have half an hour a day with her while she is awake and it sucks. I am the primary breadwinner, so quitting isn't an option, and I'm not even sure I'd want to stay at home. But ten hour days, five days a week is no way to parent.

historychick79 · February 2011

There are good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel like the house is a mess, work is pure BS, DS is either sleeping or super cranky when I do get time with him, I'm missing something for dinner and there's nothing else to eat, and someone is getting sick; I simply can't do anything right or give anything enough attention. There are other days I feel like I can conquer the world and I'm finally getting it. From what I see on Working Mom board this is going to be an ongoing roller coaster for some time, but it gets easier once sleep patterns settle down and our LO's get some mobility and can start to do some things themselves. I'm hoping for this anyway!!!

LGraham927 · February 2011

CourtneyR2N:
For me it is not being there. Spending so very little time with him each day. We get about 30 minutes before we leave in the morning, and most of that is me rushing around getting the two of us dressed and packed and out the door. Then I get 2 hours tops in the evening before he goes to sleep. And that includes a meal and bath time. Basically 90% of the time I am with him he is asleep
I find myself dragging out his bed time so that I can spend more time with him.

That's the hard part for me as well! Usually when I get to my mom's he is napping and then when he is done I maybe get an hour to play with him and then it's bath/bottle/bed.

jessie395 · February 2011

I feel the same way. I came back to work on January 3rd and I still cry when I leave him. My grandma keeps him and I know she's taking good care of him. But, I feel like I'm missing so much time with him. I felt the same way with DD too. I missed her first crawls

ValentineBB · February 2011

It is super hard, but I get up super early so that I can have morning playtime with Sadie. She's usually so happy and cute in the morning that it sends me off to work in a really good mood. We also make a big production out of bathtime, bedtime and evening playtime so that I feel like my time with her is high quality. I'm lucky though on the day care front, my MIL watches her and sends me pics/videos all day so I don't feel so absent.

aforst · February 2011

klio79:
There are good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel like the house is a mess, work is pure BS, DS is either sleeping or super cranky when I do get time with him, I'm missing something for dinner and there's nothing else to eat, and someone is getting sick; I simply can't do anything right or give anything enough attention. There are other days I feel like I can conquer the world and I'm finally getting it. From what I see on Working Mom board this is going to be an ongoing roller coaster for some time, but it gets easier once sleep patterns settle down and our LO's get some mobility and can start to do some things themselves. I'm hoping for this anyway!!!

This is how I feel too, only it's more the "I simply can't do anything right or give anything enough attention." Especially now that I have 2, it seems 4 times as hard. I have the same piddly 2 hours a night w/ them before bed, but now it's divided btwn 2 of them instead of 1. My house is a mess, the laundry isn't done. I try not to let that get to me b/c it's not as important as my kids, but it's hard to feel even remotely successful at life when your home is wreck. I'm not sure I'd love staying home 24/7 w/ them, I just wish I had more time with them. I think working part time would be ideal, but that's not really in the budget.

tracey4228 · February 2011

Some days it's hard to leave her but I do it for a number of reasons other than just financial.

I know that I need the adult interaction and mental challenge of working. Since that part of me is satisfied, I can be fully "there" for DD.

I believe the socialization that DD gets at daycare is great. Having seen children who experienced that level of socialization versus those who didn't really makes me believe it's beneficial.

I also believe that I'm showing my daughter that women can do what they want, whether that is stay at home or work. That she can find a way to prioritize the things that are important to her and get those things done. That - if she wants - she can have a successful career, a wonderful husband and a family. That may mean the house is dusty but so be it.

I strongly believe in these things and there are days that it causes me pain to leave. I know it'll get harder as she gets older. At the same time, to me at least, the long-term benefits are too positive to not work.

cja06 · February 2011

I strongly agree with tracey4228 here. Now that I have gone through the transition back with two children, I can say that I personally think a lot hinges on how you feel about your work, both what you are doing and who you are doing it for. I personally love my job. I've paid my dues and proven myself enough that my employer is extremely flexible with me, allows me to work from home 4 days a week, and still pays me well. I get a lot of satisfaction from my work, and I strongly believe that I am a better mom to my kids because I work. While somedays it can be really hard to leave my kids in the hands of others, if I was going to a job I hated, or a job I was forced to have because we had to pay the bills, it would be so much worse.

slpgator · February 2011

Cheer up ladies! I also agree with Tracy and bridefromafar. I love my LO to pieces and there is not 1 day that goes by that I don't miss having more time with him. But, I also love my job, it is very fulfilling. Also, my LO has started bonding with his daycare providers. Now when we arrive, he smiles and starts watching the older babies and laughs at them and watches them crawl around and looks mesmerized at all they can do. This week he started pushing up on his arms the last couple weeks and starts fussing as he wiggles his butt and can't move anywhere. I am positive this is because he sees them moving and tries to mimic it. They do baby signs and read to him, do songs, etc. He is getting great stimulation and has a predictable routine. Ultimately, he seems pretty happy and although I miss him, I know I am providing him with financial stability and a bright future. My dad is an attorney and works extremely long hours when I was little 7-7 or 8. Looking back, I never felt like he was gone or less of a dad than my SAHM. All of my favorite memories include him. I remember holidays, family vacations, my sporting events, school events, going on canoe rides and hikes on the weekends. etc. He made the time we had together special and was always present for the important things. I was always well aware he loved me and on top of that, he provided me with a great life free of much worry, a full college education, a car, my wedding, etc. Its hard b/c our LO are babies now, but they will appreciate your hard work and having a better life for your sacrifice in the future!

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