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Upstate NY Babies
TinyPinkBug
member
I am not ready to deal with bullying :-(
TinyPinkBug
member
I am sad that Ty is already dealing with bullying, I know he will basically be facing a lifetime of it in some form or another but I was hoping it wouldn't be so soon. Maybe bullying isn't the right word, but it is close. There is a little boy in Ty's class at school who does not like Tyler, he also is there recieving services so I know he has issues of his own. But since I have been dropping Ty off at school everyday again I have seen it myself. I have seen the boy run across the room just to push Ty down, he looks at me and Ty with a look on his face that makes me feel uneasy. He pushed Ty's head into a table the other day :-( I feel very torn about it. But I don't for a second question the teachers' or school's ability to deal with it, so I don't fear for Ty's safety or anything. The teachers don't say much about it, and I understand that. But I would like to know more. I wish I knew if it was just Ty this boy clashes with, or if it is a lot of kids. And I haven't decided yet if it is a good experience for Ty or a bad one just yet. I wonder if it could be a good experience because he will be facing this in the furture, and experiencing it now at such a young age and in a safe environment will help him develop healthy coping skills. He seems to try to avoid this boy and I give minimal response when the boy try to get him going. Seems like that is the best stratagy. Remember, Ty is on the autism spectrum and I will not always be there to protect him. Teaching him to 'fight back' wouldn't be my style, but even if it was, it would never work for someone like Ty.
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Re: I am not ready to deal with bullying :-(
I'm sorry, that stinks
Not the same, but my DD comes home from school telling me how kids push her or whatever, and I try to tell her to tell them not to or to tell a teacher, but I don't think she does. It makes me sad especially because she is so well trained not to do those things herself. I know a lot of it goes unseen. It is a tough world these days
Nest Bio ~ ~ Baby Food Blog
no one should be bullied. not Ty, not children not on the Autism spectrum, not.any.kid.
this really makes me mad. i give you major kudos for being so calm about it.
have you talked to the teachers? with this other child receiving services too i would think that his negative bahavior would be of interest and not tolerated especially with kids like Ty in the room.
i hope this get's resolved quickly for you and Ty, he's such a cute little guy and wish him all the best!
dup post- but it does give me a chance to say Ty has a really great mom!!
There are a lot of layers to it. These are 3, 4 and 5 yr olds in a class of 8 kids some days, 14 other days when the integrated (nondelayed) kids are there. There are ALWAYS at least 4 highly trained teachers/therapists/aids right there hanging on every move these kids make. It is an environment where these kids are being corrected constantly and they are being encouraged to make the right choices. And I have some insight into the kid, I see his mother every day. I don't think he comes from a bad home life or anything.
But as far as no kid ever getting bullied, well that isn't going to happen. I see it all the time. We can go to the play ground and there are some kids out there who just gravitate to poor Ty and enjoy pushing his buttons. Even if it is as simple as hitting a balloon into his personal space for the sole purpose of getting him worked up. If I didn't accept that these things will happen and try to help Ty through them rather than run to the parent try to get them to punish their kids for playing with a balloon, what will happen when no one is there. Not just when he is in grade school, but when he is a teenager or an adult. Don't get me wrong, if I ever felt his safety was in danger, I would be the first person in line giving someone some whoop arse! Tyler will always be part of normal society, but he will always be kind of different. He will always be a target for people like this.
i think that working with Ty to handle the situation is a great defense, but i think there also needs to be some offensive play too. if you are successful and Ty is able to shrug off the bullying the bullies will only find another kid to torment, and that child might not have the ability to deal with it.
i agree that a 'no bully' world isn't going to happen anytime soon, and preparing our kids is more important than ever, but we simply can't just not be silent about it. the aggressor must be held accountable too.
Ugh, bullying sucks. One of my good friend's son is 8 and was the target of 1 bully at the school this fall. It was awful and I was shocked thinking 8 was young. I think it is even sadder that a kid Ty's age has to experience that.
I don't know for sure how I will handle it yet for dd. Hopefully I have a long long time before it is ever an issue. My friend did have to talk to the teacher, and then the principal, and it actually became a really horrible thing....but that was bc it was a private school and the bully's parent was on staff there.
I think I would want to talk to the teacher and at least find out if it is just this 1 kid, or if it is a bigger issue. And the teachers there work with kids both on and off the spectrum all the time, right? So maybe they have a good idea of how to handle it, and even what you may be able to do to help Ty in the future.