I feel like giving up on BFing :(

Re: I feel like giving up on BFing :(

• vervectica

  February 2011

  Do you know any lactation consultants in your area that could help you out?  Maybe they would have advice for getting him to nurse more quickly and on a better schedule.  Have you considered supplementing with formula after each BF?  Perhaps that will help tide him over a bit until the next feeding so you can get some stuff done.  You could also try pumping and giving expressed breast milk in a bottle.  If his weight is on track, you are doing the right thing, just need to tweek it to save your sanity.  No matter what you decide to do, you will still be a good mom.

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• MrsNiner member

  February 2011

  vervectica:

  Do you know any lactation consultants in your area that could help you out?  Maybe they would have advice for getting him to nurse more quickly and on a better schedule.  Have you considered supplementing with formula after each BF?  Perhaps that will help tide him over a bit until the next feeding so you can get some stuff done.  You could also try pumping and giving expressed breast milk in a bottle.  If his weight is on track, you are doing the right thing, just need to tweek it to save your sanity.  No matter what you decide to do, you will still be a good mom.

  The hospital I delivered at has a team of them.  I saw one while still in the hospital, saw her again on Friday, and talked to her on the phone yesterday.  She is the one that had us use the SNS to get him to latch better. 

  The LC told us to supplement after feedings if needed, but didn't want me doing it all the time.  When we would supplement, DS would take a half ounce and that's how much I could pump after a feeding... so I just tried switching sides again to keep him alert and get that extra half ounce from me.

  

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• vervectica

  February 2011

  Girl, sounds like you are doing all the right things.  DS is just over a week old, so don't give up yet.  Make a deal with yourself each day or couple of days that no matter how hard it is, you promise yourself to continue BFing DS for ____ more times or days, then renegotiate that deal with yourself when that time is up, and I bet it gets easier with time.  But remember that of course you are a good mom, that's why you want to give him all the benefits of breast milk, but you will still be a good mom no matter how he gets his nutrition!

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• babyblues314

  February 2011

  I'm lurking from the March 2011 boards, and am also a first time mom so I have no experience, but this recipe was sent to me by my aunt and wanted to share it with you.  Maybe it will help with your milk supply and help BF go better for you.  Good Luck and congratulations on your LO!!

  Lactation Cookies:

  https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/member/views/LACTATION-COOKIES-1252680
  

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

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• TiffanyTheMom member

  February 2011

  How old is your baby? (i've already forgotten if you had a ticker and what the age was) Mine is 2 weeks and is in a growth spurt, so she's nursing every hour on the hour for about 5 hours straight in the day. It's hard to feel like a walking (sleepless) milk factory, but your baby is doing this to demand more milk from your body. Breast milk is a supply and demand thing- when he demands more milk, after a few days of the continual demand your body will get the hint and start making more milk. I think this might be what your baby is doing.

  Babies also nurse for comfort, to get to sleep, and if they feel gas pains or fussy. It's hard to be a pacifier! But you are the best pacifier your baby can have.

  If you do start FF full time, that means you can relax. You can eat what you want and not have to worry about whatever you ate making your baby fussy or give him gas, not have to worry about growth spurts (just add an extra ounce to your bottles to satisfy him!) not have to worry about your milk supply satisfying him or being enough, not have to worry about inconvenient places to feed your baby... it's definitely easier, and you're not 'jipping' your child nutritionally at all. Do what you have to do for you.  
  

  
  

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• sarag0116 member

  February 2011

  TiffanyTheMom:

  How old is your baby? (i've already forgotten if you had a ticker and what the age was) Mine is 2 weeks and is in a growth spurt, so she's nursing every hour on the hour for about 5 hours straight in the day. It's hard to feel like a walking (sleepless) milk factory, but your baby is doing this to demand more milk from your body. Breast milk is a supply and demand thing- when he demands more milk, after a few days of the continual demand your body will get the hint and start making more milk. I think this might be what your baby is doing.

  Babies also nurse for comfort, to get to sleep, and if they feel gas pains or fussy. It's hard to be a pacifier! But you are the best pacifier your baby can have.

  If you do start FF full time, that means you can relax. You can eat what you want and not have to worry about whatever you ate making your baby fussy or give him gas, not have to worry about growth spurts (just add an extra ounce to your bottles to satisfy him!) not have to worry about your milk supply satisfying him or being enough, not have to worry about inconvenient places to feed your baby... it's definitely easier, and you're not 'jipping' your child nutritionally at all. Do what you have to do for you.  
  

   

   This.  Well said.  I made up my mind before LO came that I would try my best at bf'ing but if it wasn't working or making me or LO miserable, I would move on.  So far, I'm ok with bf'ing, but you need to realize that your sanity is more important that breast milk.
  

  
  

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• dee1369

  February 2011

  I can certainly understand how hard BFing can be - I definitely wasn't prepared for the struggles. Most of the time DD is great at it but it is a constant worry and I have struggled with the idea of FFing when I'm emotional and feel drained by her during a cluster feeding or something.

  You have to do what is best for you and your family - if that's FFing, so be it. You're a great mom and you're doing your best and no one is going to knock you for it. 
  

  Dee, Mommy to: Sofia, born 2/9/11, as well as three dogs, two cats and a multitude of chinchillas.

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• mamabrof

  February 2011

  I know I need to change my ticker... my baby is about 3 and a half weeks old now.  I was feeling exactly how you are feeling, and I promise, it gets better.  You should ultimately do what is best for your mental well being, but if you really want to BF, stick with it, and it will get easier.

  

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• smllel

  February 2011

  I went through this with my first LO.  My LC told me "You have to take care of mama so you can take care of baby."  If it is too stressful, don't BF!  Your baby can feel your stress and tension.  When I decided to pump and FF, I was a much better mama!  My LO felt my stress and would literally PUSH her hands against me.  I knew this was not the bonding experience I wanted! 

  Don't feel selfish, or guilty.  Take care of you so you can take care of your LO!

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• AM2008 member

  February 2011

  k_renee:

   Help/advice/flames welcomed.....

   I never thought I would want to BF, but when I got pregnant I decided I definitely wanted to.  I never knew how hard it would be though.  My sister has BF both of her children and made it look so easy.  DS and I have had a rough start to things - my milk didn't come in the way it should've so my flow was slow, causing him to be impatient and not latch right.  We used an SNS tube to help him latch and supplement for a few days.  Sometimes we are still supplementing with a bottle of formula when I feel like I have been nursing him for 3 hours straight and need a break from it.

  I'm having my fair share of breakdowns with BFing, which I know is not helping the situation.  I feel like there is a time everyday where I cry because of our struggles.  DS seems to be doing better, although there are the times where he just wants to nurse and nurse and nurse.  I, on the other hand, have already checked out of the idea and am leaning towards FF him.  I don't feel like I get to enjoy my baby because I am always worrying about the nursing... if he is going to be fussy afterwards & want to nurse again, if we have time to go run errands before he needs to eat, if he is going to nurse for an hour straight in the middle of the night.  I feel strapped down because of the nursing, like I have to stay inside the house all day and wait around to nurse him. 

  I know this all kind of sounds selfish.  I feel like I am wanting to FF just to save my own sanity.  I haven't given up yet because I feel like I am giving him the best by BFing.  And I am also scared of losing that bonding time with him.  I am doing something with my baby that no one else can - it's "our" time.  I am scared if I stop BFing, I will regret it and be even more upset than I am now. 

  Okay, I'm done rambling.  I just needed to get all of that out.  I know that either way, it doesn't mean that I love my son any less (although sometimes it feels like it).  Like his pediatrician told me, I'm a good mom no matter how my baby gets his nutrition. 

  I could have written this myself.  I have had so many times where I just want to give up on BFing.  I've gotten to where I'm pumping more often, and it's relieving a little bit of my stress, although I still have my moments.  I felt really good after meeting with my LC, but at home, I just feel so lost and out of control of the BFing situation.  I'm taking it one day at a time right now, and I think that's all we can do at this point.  I've heard it does get better, so I'm just waiting on the day...

  

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