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February 2011 Moms
TiffanyTheMom
member
Edinburgh PostNatal Depression Test
TiffanyTheMom
member
There's a New Parent Support Program here for mil. moms where a home visitor can come see you every week for free in your house. I signed up for it, because it was a home visitor from this program that helped me self-diagnose my PPD with my last child and get help sooner than later. I signed up for it this time around as well so someone could monitor me and keep an eye out for signs of PPD this time around.
I took the Edinburgh test (just a quiz really) and I scored a ten- which means I have possible depression right now. 
I was advised to contact my OB immediately and talk to her about it. That alone makes me want to cry! I cried all last night after that thing with DH (which he never apologized for) and then early this morning, he went to take a shower at 4:40 this morning and I had just finished giving Adena a bottle and was trying to get her to sleep, and his alarms kept waking her up. (He sets about 5 alarms 5 min apart.) When we went for a shower he didn't turn off the remaining alarms and just as I'd get her to sleep, the friggin alarms would go off. Then again just as I put her to sleep the next time. I was so tired and angry I cried and told him he forgot to turn them off, and he said "Excuse me for going out and making a living." Ugh, I cried again. I'm so tired and he thinks I get more sleep than he does!
I'm in tears again. The thought that I show signs of PPD again makes me feel depressed! I just know if I have to go on anti-depressants again, DH will make me feel like sh!t about it. He doesn't think depression needs 'happy pills' (even though I explained they don't make you HAPPY- they make you able to function normally) and that depression is a result of not having enough faith in God to handle your problems. And that I'm just over emotional and that are 'the easy way out.'
I feel like I need to sew his lips shut. For real, he just doesn't need to talk to me. If that's what I have to do to be a good mother again, )&()T%^*%)& I'm going to do it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Edinburgh PostNatal Depression Test
Tiff, I had some depression after DD and Celexa saved my sanity! I thought I was losing my mind, I would have probably scored like 100 on that silly little quiz if I would have taken it after having DD.
I also nursed DD while on Celexa and she doesn't have two heads, nor was she addicted. She did not have any "withdrawl" symptoms when she weaned at 14 months.
I think I personally would rather have DH give me the side eye and feel "better" than stay off the meds. If he has an opinion he can keep it to himself, your kids need a functioning mother and that is what they will get.
Also, i want to add that sleep depravation can make your mind do crazy things. I totally feel your pain Tiff. Hang in there and let me know what I can do to help.
I had PPD with my son and, although I blame my ex-husband for most of what I was feeling, I have still warned DH that I may get depressed this time too. I keep telling him that we will BOTH need uninterrupted sleep, even after he is working and I'm still at home. (Actually, I just keep telling him he doesn't want to meet the person I'll become if I have to go months w/o more than 2 hours of sleep at a time). I'm optimistic things will be better for me this time. DH is very understanding of the sleep thing and, since his mom is a nurse, he has been hearing lectures from her about how he will need to give me plenty of time to recover.
Regardless of what support you have/don't have, feeling like a milk factory + very little quality sleep = one not happy momma!
The first step in feeling better is admitting you're depressed. Only then can you figure out what needs to change for you to feel better (more sleep, more help around the house, a day/night without the kids, etc). IMO, depression meds suck. I never feel like myself on them, but, if they work for you, there is no shame in taking them. You need to be happy so your kids can be happy!
Have you thought about getting DH to go with you to talk to the OB about PPD or having him read some books/articles on PPD and on postpartum recovery in general. He may get a better understanding of what you're going through if he hears it from someone else.
Good luck and I hope things get easier for you!
Good! If I was you, I would also possibly discuss this with your OB in advance, letting them know how DH feels about PPD in the first place. One amazing thing about OBs is generally they really understand that PPD is real, out of your control, and something that won't go away just because you want it to or by ignoring it. I am sorry DH doesn't seem to fully appreciate all the hard work you put in at home. I really think you need to build up your freezer stash so he can hang with the kids for a day and see how much work you actually do. Maybe you should also kick him in the gonads before you leave so he can see how he likes trying to recover from major trauma to his genitals in addition to three children. Kidding of course, but I hope it made you chuckle a bit!
Tiffany,
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I am glad you are going to see your Dr. Try to take care of yourself. If you need to talk just let us know.
Erin
Thankfully, I have a fantastic freezer supply- I already have at least 80 oz frozen. If I were to leave for a day I'd for sure have enough EBM for him to feed her. I just don't know what I'd do for a whole day- the only girlfriend I have wouldn't be able to go anywhere with me. Sucks being trapped at home all the time, it's hard to make friends that way.
I'm totally for the 'kicking him in the gonads' idea! That's awesome...lol.
As far as getting out of the house, why not go somewhere alone. Treat yourself to breakfast, get your hair done, then go walk around somewhere (mall/park/beach). Despite the fact I'm pretty sure I will fit my old clothes, I can't wait to go shopping for myself after I have this baby! I find 'me time' very refreshing and my LO isn't even here yet (although it does mean I leave my 6 yo son at home with DH). I've lost touch with so many friends during this pregnancy; most of my friends are younger and don't have kids and the bar/going out thing just isn't my thing right now. There's a big part of me that can't wait to go out and have some drinks with my friends again, but, there's also a big part of me that wishes I had friends living more of the lifestyle I am (married, kids, real job, etc).