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Adoption
We are all going to get PG when we adopt.....
That's what I heard this past weekend ...from a medical DOCTOR! Who, BTW , has 4 bio kids of her own! Even after I told her my FSH is sky high, she told me to "relax" and it will happen!!!
I know she was just trying to be nice, but you would think that an MD would know better. I never even told her we are adopting....she made a recommendation after she asked how my family building was coming along. That did not offend me as we have known each other for many years and she knew me before DH and I were married and knew I wanted to start a family.
It still blows me away that people still think that we have "Type A" ovaries and that "just relaxing" will make us conceive! And this was said during IF awareness week.
Sadly, even the medical community is UNaware. I gave a little IF speech/ education to a friend of mine, who is a nurse, a little later in the evening, because I felt that maybe talking a little about my own situation just might help someone else, someday.
My OB dropped the ball when I told him, at 38, I was getting married again. and wanted to have a family. He never once suggested that with my age and my severe endo I may have a problem, never suggested a baseline FSH test , and "claims" to specialize in infertility. I had no reason to worry.
So when, after one year off BCPs and no BFP, I went to him to find out "if" something was wrong, then he tells me we need to check my FSH and found it was waaaaay too late......
WHAT'S IN MY CAMERA BAG: Canon 40D, 50 mm 1.8 prime and not much else yet! Learning to edit with PSE 8 AND LR 3. My real name isn't Tiffany, and I'm a photography newbie!
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Re: We are all going to get PG when we adopt.....
LOL!!!!!!!!! Type A ovaries -- that's great!!
Isn't it awesome when people tell you crap like this? And isn't it even awesomer (how's that for a word?) when it's people who haven't been through IF?!
Seriously though, ignorant comments like this just prove that the commenter thinks less of adoption than having bio kids. It's like "Oh, poor you... well, if you do this one thing, THEN you'll get what you REALLY want!" They don't stop to realize that it's extremely offensive. I'm not quick enough, but if I were, I'd come back with something to make them see how stupid that is, like just give them that blank stare dumbfounded look and say something like "Oh, so what you're SAYING is that an adopted child is less desirable than a bio child?" And to the "just relax" comment, I've said things before like "Oh, I guess I missed that day in sex ed class!"
People!!
Well, three years later I'm still waiting. AND I hit the big 4-0 in 2 short months, so the clock is ticking! I think the odds are better for me to will the Megamillions at this point.
I am continually amazed at what pops out of people's mouths, including medical professionals. Oy vey!
My Blog
Unbelievable...but not very surprising. Ugh.
I love TypeAOvaries...I think you need to run to Cafe Press and make tee shirts stating that wearers DON'T have Type A Ovaries. hhaa!
I keep that "only 8% of adoptive moms get pregnant after adopting" statistic handy for people who say this.
Even my mom said, "All you have to do is file adoption paperwork and you'll get pregnant." Because "everyone" she knows who adopted got pregnant later. Um, no.
I love the cafepress idea.
I think that has to be the funniest thing I have heard all week! I still get the "you'll get pg when you adopt" statement all the time and then of course they get completely embarrassed when I remind them that I had a total hysterectomy (believe it or not I got this from one of my doctors!). Some people are either completely ignorant or completely insensitive (or both).
I get the "you're going to get pg" from EVERYONE, including social workers, etc. I even ran into a high school friend on Sunday - she is adopted, and she told me a story of another friend from HS that started the adoption process and ended up pregnant and has babies 10 mo. apart.
I would LOVE for this to happen, but know it is all up to the man upstairs. Everything else in my life has been a challenge, it really shouldnt surprise me that conceiving would be any easier.
Personal Adoption Blog
Because everyone I know with an infant is relaxed.
I am one of those people who can't let that go graciously. I use it as an opportunity to let them know how ignorant they are being so that HOPEFULLY they don't sound so stupid to the next person they run into.
And I really think you have something there with the Type A shirts...
I hate this comment b/c it's always said in a "that's what you really want" kind of way. Grr.
It did come up at our agency meeting and they said if it were true they would market under infertility and charge twice as much :-)
OMG - that is so funny!
My Blog
Sheesh...I can't count the number of times that I've heard this. And the big topper for me is that I had to have a hysterectomy because my endo was so bad. And people STILL forget/don't think and say, "Well, maybe after you adopt you'll get pregnant. You know so-and-so, that's what happened to her..." I used to stop them and say, "I just a hysterectomy, remember?" Then they'd be all embarassed and I'd be pissed...now I just sit there with my mouth shut and say how nice it was for them, but I know that won't happen for us.
I just keep trying to remind myself that they aren't idiots or uncaring or just don't care...they are just trying to think of something "positive" (in their minds) to say...and it's the thought that counts. If I didn't repeat this like a 1000 times a day, I probably would have killed someone by now.
Erica